Monday, June 30, 2008
"What do you think?" I asked Mr. Rellim.
Mr. Rellim replied, "Well, Rachel, the truth is that boys have only one thing on their mind and it makes it hard to concentrate."
"What thing?" asked Rachel.
I shot the man the look of certain death if he were to continue.
"What thing?" asked Quinn.
"Oooooh!" said Rachel, then fell into a silence that lasted until she and her brother started laughing hysterically.
I hope they were thinking about Scooby Doo or American Idol.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Friends of ours recently welcomed a baby daughter into their family. (Keep in mind these friends raise pigs.) Their four year old son asked if he and his sister were illiterate.
It took them a while to figure out that he was really asking if he and his sister were littermates.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Yet another Rellim wedding provides food and fun. This one was a bit on the "uptown" formal side. At least I thought so, until the bridal party joined in the paper bag dance. During this dance, everyone placed a Jewel/Osco paper shopping bag over his head to have a dance-off. The set-up was that only one person was unknowingly left to dance while the others watched. Very entertaining. Congrats to Andy and Kristi!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Her explanation: "Who writes letters anymore? I only send emails."
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
"Dear God, please help Mom realize that when she dies and goes to heaven - and I think it is a pretty good possibility that she will get to go there - that there won't be houses that need to be cleaned or picked up. So help her to GET A GRIP and take it easy on us because a messy house is not the most important thing to worry about."
Monday, June 16, 2008
"Fathers have an incalculable impact on their daughters. Most psychologists believe, and I am one of them, that all future romantic relationships to occur in a girl’s life will be influenced positively or negatively by the way she perceives and interacts with her dad."
— Dr. James Dobson, adapted from his
Complete Marriage and Family Home Reference Guide
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Next, say it over and over again while he's trying to eat supper.
Upon return to the table after being sent to your room for starting a screaming argument, apologize by saying, "I'm sorry for talking about when your gerbil died."
When your mother reprimands you, stare at her quizzically and say, "WHAT?!"
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
My son doesn't know how he got this hole in his shirt and I don't know why you keep sending us letters. I mean, YES - it does seem sorta unusual that someone would sell feed as a side job and actually incur more expenses than income, but isn't that what happens in the ag industry?
Once when Mr. Rellim was out of earshot, his family banker asked me, "Do you know what a farmer would do with $1 million dollars? Keep farming until he needed more money!"
Anyway, keep your pants on, IRS! The reams of supporting documentation are headed your way.
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Friday, June 06, 2008
I suppose I was relieved (sorta - in a strange way) to notice she was attempting to stick something in her right nostril. Anything to help lighten the mood of the discussion.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Monday, June 02, 2008
Rachel was stealth-snacking on one of those drumstick ice cream treats. I gave her the "caught ya!" look and pointed to the sofa cushion next to her, indicating a piece of chocolate coating that had fallen. She picked it up and popped it into her mouth.
I then noticed a chunk on the floor, so pointed toward it. Again, Rachel picked it up and put it in her mouth. But this time, she started spitting and hollering. Uh . . . it wasn't chocolate. I think it was dirt.