Curves

Curves. I visited the work-out center for the first time in five years. Rachel tagged along. We signed up for a 12-month contract. The owner took a quick health history, weighed and measured us, then asked if I had any goals in terms of health/fitness. I told her I'd like to weigh less than now since this is how much I weighed when I was six months pregnant! She thought that was a good choice. Oh, yeah! And I want to curtail the growth of "grandma" triceps as much as possible. I'll let you know how it goes.

Ahhh . . . Togetherness!

Rachel jumped out of the (slowly moving) van today to escape being with her mother. Quinn is in his room crying because he has the worst mother in the world. What have I done to deserve this?

I asked them to (1) put away their clothes and (2) pick up their bedrooms.

Now that Mr. Rellim is helping to direct this effort, I've heard screams of, "Nobody loves me! Now I know you BOTH hate me! If you loved me you wouldn't put me through this torture!"

Christmas Things

Christmas Follies

Flippin' Serious

There is a new rule at our house. Any use of the following words will bring a 24-hour time out period for the guilty party's favorite electronic device: frickin', freakin', frackin' flippin', fudgin'. Why? Ask my son, who hollered a sentence at the roller rink (during the 3 seconds of near-quiet) that very closely resembled the granddaddy of all "f" words.

Yes Ball

Santa brought gifts to our house yesterday. It's pretty typical for him to visit our house before the 25th because we are rarely home that morning. Anyway, I picked up a free "Magic 8" ball from a vendor at my national conference and thought it would be a great stocking stuffer for Quinn. It was. He opened it and screamed, "Awesome! I always wanted a YES BALL!"

The Office

I've spent ridiculous amounts of time watching DVD episodes of The Office. I had heard of the TV series, but had not ever actually caught an episode until last month. Very, very entertaining. Unfortunately, my children are hooked also. Quinn can't understand why a boss can be so stupid and why the employees don't just quit and find a new job. I explained satire and told him if everyone quit, the show wouldn't exist.

Same Size

Mother, daughter and son are now wearing the same size shoe. Yet, mother still has several inches in height over them - this year. It seems the kids are on a growth pattern similar to the German versus the Irish genetics. Must be all the wienerschnitzel. (Sixteen is my limit.)

Pound Cake on Ice

Well, in the bushes, actually. That's where two of them landed after I slipped on ice on the front doorstep of my neighbor's home (No, not that neighbor.). Having spent over two hours making them, I couldn't just let them lie there. Misshapen, yet still safely wrapped, I managed to fish them out of the bushes and present them to our closest neighbors. They would understand.

By the way, all our neighbors were given this small token of Christmas cheer. Don't you wish you were my neighbor?

We Got 'em

"We got 'em up here on the roof!" Remember that line spoken by a Chicago police officer in the movie The Fugitive with Harrison Ford? If not, it doesn't really matter anyway. What I'm talking about is the menagerie of items on our roof.

Sunday after church, Rachel complained of her shoes smelling badly. Sunday afternoon, she threw them on the roof. Snowday Tuesday, Rachel threw a neighborhood friend's hat on the roof. "He was asking for it, " she stated simply. Iceday Wednesday I noticed a scarf on the roof and two wiener roasters. I wonder when this is going to end.

Please, please let there be school tomorrow.

Decorating Done

Modesty is His Middle Name

Mr. Rellim had an MRI on his lower back today. He told me that it was a tight squeeze to get his shoulders in the tube. I tried not to think about it. Instead, I kept remembering when we first entered the waiting room. The MRI technician handed him hospital pants to change into and my husband dropped his trousers right then to "suit up." Fortunately, no one else walked in.

Endurance

"I would rather lose in a cause that will some day win,
than win in a cause that will some day lose."

— President Woodrow Wilson

Not with a 39 1/2 foot pole.

Recently, my husband pointed out their similarities. I thought you might like to see them side-by-side.

But however much one tries to steal or distort, no one can keep Christmas from coming.

Best Driver Award

I noticed a black smudge on the bumper of my white van. Then I noticed a broken tail light. Knowing that I did not hit anything and also knowing that I am the primary driver, I assumed it must have been a parking lot mishap. I thought I'd begin my investigation by noting which cars at my place of employment were black, then follow up with a polite email asking if perhaps they had inadvertently bumped my van. It was a risky thing to do, so I asked Mr. Rellim for his opinion.

That's when he chuckled and told me about how he backed the van into the basketball hoop about three weeks ago! He'd been wondering how long it would take me to notice.

Quinnisms

Maybe he'll be President some day! Today he begged to play his Nintendo DS. I told him not until December 19th. He begged again, then added, "PLEEEEAAASE? With supervisation?"

A few days ago he talked about how much he liked the confession stand at the basketball game. I'm pretty sure that might be illegal at the public school they attend.

So Far, So Good

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. (Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius AD 161-180) And a big thank you to D.S. for the best quote of the day!

Not My Station

I listen to a radio station that plays Christmas music 24/7 until 12/25. Today, I jumped in the van and a new song was playing. The lyrics were something like, "Baby, I will take you there. I will cover you. I will take care of you. I will lead you to heaven." I thought it was an interesting Christmas song. It wasn't until the next song started playing that I realized this was NOT my radio station. The lyrics began like this, "Ya know the pimp's in the crib and the - " WHAT?! I don't even know what that means.

Adjective

Tangy.
That's not an adjective I like to hear in the same phrase as, "Mom the milk tastes . . . ."

New Vocabulary

"Dad! You're really starting to adjectate me!"

Battle Positions

A sweatshirt worn for one minute, then tossed into a heap of three other sweatshirts worn for one minute does not constitute a load of dirty laundry. Rachel has chosen to stay in her room (without tidying up the place) instead of going to a basketball game with a friend. I imagine it's because she believes this will be more annoying to her mother.

She's right.

I Like Tweenagers

Rachel: "Like, get up! Like why didn't anyone get me up? It's like 6:45!"
Quinn: "Like, don't you have like two alarm clocks in your room?"

Sit v. Set

We live a bit further south than one might imagine, therefore, some of us do not differentiate between the two words. Guess which one?

Mike: (in response to some annoyance supplied by his son) "Quinn! Go set at the table!"
Quinn: (Runs for his life due to said annoyance, then begins placing napkins, forks, plates and glasses on the kitchen table.)
Marcie: "Quinn, what are you doing?!"
Quinn: "I'm just doing what Dad told me!"

Ah . . . a good test of new-found auditory discrimination skills.

Historical Fiction

President George Washington once advised, "Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire, called conscience." I would give that advice to the persons who created the new Capital Visitor Center. Apparently, they had to be reminded that the country's motto is "In God we trust." They also initially forgot to include the Pledge of Allegiance in the display. Why the omission of religion from our nation's history?

Sciatica

Day five. On the coach. But today he has steroids, muscle relaxants and Tylenol with codeine. Mr. Rellim may yet recover.

I've apologized for not immediately feeling empathy, but he shouldn't have returned from the first chiropractor visit with these instructions: "Doc told me I should not put up any Christmas lights or do any Christmas shopping. I'm supposed to just lay on the couch and watch football."