Hot Sauce

Mike has been working a lot lately, but that's a good thing. It means more business for the piggies.

Anyway, since he missed supper again, the kids and I were a little bored, so we found ourselves involved in a hot sauce eating contest. I was running a close second as the kids were both tied for first.

Genius struck as I picked up the bottle and shook it into my mouth to finish the game and earn the championship.

It's the little joys in life that make it worth all the hassle.

Cafe de Canciones

That was the title of the musical/drama performed in church this morning. I don't really remember the moral of the story, but I loved the part when the singing waiter suggested (to the tune of the James Bond "Live and Let Die") the customers order - "CHICKEN POT PIE!"

Rachel said the waiter should have sung "Eat it! Just Eat it!" to the Michael Jackson classic. If only he had been wearing a single glove . . . But then again, it was church.

I Heard Myself Say It

"Get that popcorn out of your belly button!"

Happy Fall, Y'all!

One of my favorite pictures of Rachel. I think she was about four years old.

Quinn and Felix

For one brief moment in 2000 - a cat whisperer.

SYATP

Yesterday was the official "See You At The Pole" rally around America. Teachers, students and parents were invited to meet at the flag pole of their school for a time of prayer. When I dropped off my kids at school, there were about 20 people around the flag pole.

When I drove up to my school in the next town, there were about 200 kids around the pole. I was astounded. Then I drove around to the back parking lot and noticed another 200 kids out there.

It was then I realized the fire alarm had been pulled.

Choose Words Wisely

That's what my friend's husband learned this weekend after he performed his first wedding ceremony. Upon returning home he told his kids, "Guess what? Daddy just married two people tonight." His six year old son replied, "Cool! You mean I have two step-moms now? Where will we keep them?"

True story.

Animal Lover

We drove by a very large home of Quinn's classmate. Rachel asked what his parents did for a living to afford such a big house. I told them that his mother was an adoption attorney. Quinn asked, "For kids or cats?"

Hmmm . . . maybe I'll call her about placing the EIGHT baby rabbits. We're getting to a critical period now between the time when the bunnies are weaned and when the bunnies can begin making more bunnies.

Fourth Grade Follies

Now!? Now he chooses to give us a lip-only smile?! Now that the braces are off and his teeth look beautiful?! Quinn told us that he tried to smile really big but the photographer asked him to "stop making that face." Hahahahaha!

His teacher sent home a note last week letting us know that he talks quite a bit during class. I wrote back to let her know that I took him to speech-language therapy for four years to perfect that skill.

Sixth Grade Smile

Rachel was happy that the photographer captured the Puma logo on her shirt. Band is going well and she tried out for basketball today. She told me that she is the fourth tallest in her class. I thought, "Wow!" Mike said, "Don't worry. Some of those young ladies are done growing. You'll be the tallest next year."

Rabbitsitting

Quinn was in charge of keeping eight rabbits in this rubbermaid container while Rachel cleaned the cage. As you can see, the container is muy shallow. I couldn't help videotaping some of it because it reminded me of that arcade game "Whack-a-Mole!" (well . . . minus the club). Some day when I learn how to upload video segments, I'll post the event.

Carson & Austin

My nephew, Carson will be three in a couple days. He's the high inquisitor regarding badminton technique. His big brother, Austin and his buddy are pictured above on their first day of Kindergarten. Later that week, Austin was able to look at a short note from his teacher and "read" it to his mom. Austin commented to me, "Hey! Aunt Marcie! Guess What?! I can read -- FINALLY!

Kelly's Baby

My youngest sister, Kelly is having her third child. She says it's a boy based on an ultrasound performed yesterday. Mike says it was probably the umbilical cord she saw. Grandma says the "watchamacalit" doesn't even grow until the last week of pregnancy.

Although I can confidently say that yes, indeed the "watchamacalit" would be formed by four months gestation, I cannot be certain of the ultrasound technician's ability to discriminate between it and the cord.

Therefore, to play it safe, Kelly, I suggest you either choose both a girl and a boy name, or find a name that is gender neutral. For example: Kelly, Jodie, Jamie, Lauren, Logan, Leigh, Laine, Pat, Taylor or Morgan.

I'm voting "Lincoln" for a boy and "Jillian" for a girl.

Four weeks old

Eight baby rabbits are four weeks old. They will be available in two more weeks. We cannot guarantee the gender of any animal, but I'm certain of the color.

NIH (pause) NOT!!

I've read some research lately with such flawed methodology and confounding factors that I can't even believe they were published. This ranks right up there with them.

Jodie

Marcie, Jodie and Grandma Ann 1972

Look how cute you were 35 years ago!! Seems like I was dressed in my snazzy pants for the occasion of your arrival.

I remember an evening about 20 years ago when you called me from a friend's house to pick you up. Unknown to you and your friend, I had Dad as a stowaway in the hatchback of the 1981 Mazda GLC. After picking up the two of you, we started down the road when suddenly Dad reached over the back seat and grabbed you by the shoulders. I'm not sure which was louder - your screams or my peals of laughter.

Uh, sorry about that by the way. Do you remember which friend that was or if she ever visited with us again?

Let it be Written

“Let this be written for a future generation,
that a people not yet created may praise the LORD …” Psalm 102:18 (NIV)

Do you think of The Rellim Family Blogspot when you read that scripture? I don't. Maybe I should tweak the focus a bit. What a charge!

I'll tweak the focus after I scrub the kitchen floor. One of the Rellim not-so-young-sters decided to dump his scoop of ice cream out of his dish and smoosh it onto my newly-mopped floor instead of putting it back in the freezer like I asked. His demonstration of defiance will not win my praise today.

Why I'll be Fired

Mr. Rellim cringes when he asks about my day and I start out with, "Just so you know why I'll be fired . . ."

Today it's because I gave some advice to two fifth graders who stutter.

I asked how their weeks have been going and one reported that she is being teased by someone who says, "Why do you stu-stu-stu-stutter?"

I told her to ask him, "Why are you so uh-uh-uh-ugly?"

I'm pretty sure this counseling tip is not on the website at the Stuttering Foundation of America.
However, I believe it to be a better idea than Wendell's.

Up a stream

This is Quinn pulling his friends who got tired of paddling. Quinn decided it would be easier to pull them to shore than try to coordinate a shared effort.

What an appropriate metaphor for my day.

Some would disagree with the choice to jump in and keep the boat moving, but neither one of us likes to float about aimlessly. You go, boy!

Oh Happy Day!

My Norton Antivirus has been updated AND I'm still able to post pictures on by blog!

This is last year's back-to-school picture. Funny thing is that I inadvertantly wore the same blouse and necklace for this year's picture.

Excellent (pause) (not!)

Those of you who've suffered through the film "Borat" will appreciate the title.

Lisa and I get to visit in person only once a year and this is the only picture we have for 2007. We look awful! I know one of us had been sick the day before and the other has no excuse. Here's to a better photo op in 2008!

Grandma Ann

Move over, Marilyn Monroe!

Rabbits

And I'll name this one Winky. Seriously, does anyone want a pet rabbit? We can't eat all of eight of them . . .

Good Times

Old friends, late night, good times!

First Day of School 2007

Sixth grade and fourth grade, here they come!

PICTURES!!

For whatever reason, my computer has allowed me to post pictures tonight for the first time in about four months. HOORAY! Unfortunately, I have to update my Norton Antivirus tomorrow and who knows what might happen. Where's Mr. Bickerson when you need him?

I'll try to link some photos to previous posts just for fun. Wish me luck!

Hammock

Rachel still cannot understand why I had this hammock in the trash. The best part of the story is how she used it for about four days this week before her father finally confiscated it!

Sixth Grade Chorus Practice

Rachel told me that her chorus teacher instructed them to work on their "dictation and pronounciation."

I let Rachel know that the correct terms are "diction" and "pronunciation."

Those words are a bit easier to pronounciate anyway.

PS: This is a picture of the Rellim Family cousins taken in June

Ignoramulus

Quinn's new label for anyone who annoys him. It's pronounced "ig - no- ram- you- lus."

Poor Man's Patio

That's what we call our summer garage make-over that gives us some outdoor activity space.

Anyhoo - tonight we ate supper out there. Rachel ran back into the house to get some (what else?) parmesan cheese. When she returned about 45 seconds later, she was sobbing and holding an ice pack (well, more like a pack of frozen raspberries) on her shoulder.

Mike asked her what the heck happened.

Her response? "I stubbed my toe so hard it made my shoulder hurt!"

Sports

Two nephews visited today and we taught them the fine art of badminton. The nearly three-year-old asked me, "Why you have chicken? Me play tennis!"

Translation: Why are you playing tennis with a birdie?

Life Lessons

My friend's daughter's friend (got that?) asked her, "Ms. Mary, what is a 'personal lubricant?'" My friend, completely caught off-guard, replied something like, "Umm . . . it's stuff you put on stuff so things will work better."

I hope to be present for the round of follow-up questions.

William Butler Yeats

I heard a partial quote today from a lengthy poem of his:

" . . .A time when the best of men are without conviction, and the worst are full of passionate intensity. . . ."

Call Arnold Schwarzenegger's office today to voice your concern about the many "anti-discrimination" bills sitting on his desk. 916.445.2841 One includes the right for HIV positive men to be sperm donors.

Oh! You'll have to press "1" to hear the message in English.

School Lunch

We've had some trouble with school lunch. For starters, the prices are only posted at the end of the line at the cash register (in tiny print) after the students have loaded their trays with food. My kids pay with a debit card system, so their lunches are always "free" they tell me. We are working on budgeting and allowing only two ala carte items per week.

Today, Quinn told me he bought something off the "olive cart" and it was yummy.

I didn't even know he liked olives.

Campaigning

Quinn: Here is the paper about voting.

Me: This is about running for class representative for the student council at your school. You know, you might be a good candidate.

Quinn: What do you do?

Me: Well, you go to meetings twice a month and talk about ways to improve the school. For example, you might want to increase the variety of fruit juices offered in the cafeteria or something like that.

Quinn: No thanks. I like the apple juice. I don't think I want to be voted for.

Meetings

I participated in a meeting today where we talked about when we would have the next meetings and what we would talk about at those meetings. That . . . was pretty much all.

Scissors

One day last week Quinn was wearing a hat indoors. He later let me in on a secret. He had cut off his bangs - entirely - because "they looked so stupid!"

Yeah, he helped the situation out immensely with his trim.

I'm so thankful that Wal-Mart's hair studio is open late.

Multi-tasking

This story may not be as good as my friend's on her lifegetsin.blogspot but here goes:

After baking scrumptious lemon cream muffins, I decided to also make some lemon cream frosting. This involved much grating of lemon zest and much squeezing of the lemons. To my shock and dismay, the frosting did not look like frosting at all.

Guess what happened? While baking and talking on the phone and answering the door and listening to the radio and checking homework I measured FLOUR into the recipe instead of powdered sugar.

Baking tip: Flour don't make no frosting.

Poor Brock

Until this week, my son has held the championship reign for most incredibly stupid and/or dangerous stunt pulled off by an elementary school child (among my friends). This of course, was when he was six years old and asked to ride his bike around the block, but instead rode his bike ACROSS TOWN to the ice cream shop and had himself a treat.

Well, son, your reign has come to an end. As of Wednesday evening, your friend Brock takes the cake. He threatened to run away from home (again) and his parents didn't think a thing about it until the doorbell rang and there stood a policeman with their eight year old son. Brock had been found walking along the highway a mile north of his home, wearing his pajama bottoms and carrying his teddy bear.

Poor Brock - and poor Brock's butt.

Fire and Ice

The weather was great - less than 90 degrees - so we decided to have a fire and roast marshmallows. Unfortunately, it was more like sending smoke signals to our neighbors.

Before the smoke-out, there was live entertainment on the roof. As a punishment to his sister for some crime unbeknownst to me, Quinn threw several pairs of her shoes, a couple rackets and large sticks on the roof.

To further entertain the neighbors, who have not yet called the cops on us, I allowed the kids to "defrost" the chest freezer using a hammer. Is that hard on the appliance?

Numbers

Eight baby rabbits (called kits)
Seven batches of salsa
Six loads of laundry
Five work days
Four tired limbs
Three turning one-year-old tomorrow
Two homework-checkings
One car with "check engine" light blaring all day

One picture can make it all right again!

Badminton

aka - "Birdie" at our house. It must be the funniest thing we do. Ours is a road less-traveled and it seems to make the difference between a good game of badminton and one that is frequently interrupted.

Tonight the four of us squared off on the street and played a couples match. I wonder how the game is scored when "whoosh," "whack," "thwump" and "OW! I just hit myself!" are the sounds heard in place of the racket (How do you spell that?) meeting the birdie? The Rellim Rules also allow for double hits and bank shots off trees, cars, players or other obstacles. Bounce plays are also acceptable strategies to confuse the opponent.

And like skilled trapeze artists, we don't use a net.

Parmesan Cheese

It's Rachel's favorite food - if you can call it a food. Today she was injured during the eating of spaghetti noodles with parmesan cheese. It seems she slurped a bit too quickly and a fleck of the grated cheese flew into her eye.

The way she carried on you would have thought that it was somehow MY fault.

Oh wait - maybe it was my fault. I made the lunch.

Mucilage

Do you know what it means? Sticky, adhesive substance found in some plants. Weird.

What did I learn from this dictionary exercise? My daughter is afraid of dictionaries. Or else impatient with them. I believe she would prefer to SPEAK the word into a voice recognition device on the cover, then have the book tell her AUDIBLY what a word means.

How do I know this? She has spent the last ten minutes in a hysterical screaming fit, complaining about dictionaries and how they are "so stupid" and what a waste of time it is to look up words in dictionaries.

Did she like it when I pointed out that she has spent more time screaming than it would have taken her to look up the word in the first place? Well, then you can probably guess that she also didn't like that I insinuated that she may have trouble with dictionaries because she has not memorized alphabetical order and suggested that she just hum the tune to the ABCs while she looks up the words.

Time

Quinn brought his Nintendo DS to our bed this morning to check the date (to make sure he really had to put on church clothes) and time. He excitedly pointed out that his DS tells him "digital time, clock time and Marines time." I told him that the Navy, Marines, Army and Air Force all use "military" time. He said, "Whatever!"

This reminds me of his first week in Kindergarten when he got the gist, but not the main idea of the lesson on the letter A. He reported that afternoon a few years back, "We learned about the letter A and how it starts with apple, crocodile and jet." To my recollection, he could not be dissuaded that the crocodile was an alligator and the jet an airplane.

All For the Love of Sea Turtles

I found my son in a neighbor's garage this evening. He was canvassing the neighborhood in search of aluminum cans for his class. They are saving money to send to the zoo to support the sea turtles. Not that I object to the project, but I am bothered by the fact that we don't know this particular neighbor. Quinn told me that's OK because "she was really nice and she told me to follow her into her garage." Oh, yeah - and now the large trash bag is filled mostly with beer cans.

I feel a note from his teacher will arrive this week.

Marriage

Quinn learned that his teacher, Mr. Johnson, is getting married next summer.

Quinn asked me what his new name will be.

I told him to ask Mr. Johnson tomorrow.

The funny thing is that I asked Mr. Johnson the same question at the open house.

Tweenagers!

My friend picked up a poster for her daughter who is running for class secretary. The poster reads, "Vote Danielle - I will keep track of everything!"

Here's where the story gets better. After just three days of school, her daughter has misplaced her planner, forgotten her flute, AND misplaced her note that gives her permission to run for secretary. The permission slip was finally found under her dirty laundry that she sorted last night when she realized she had no clean clothes to wear because she hadn't brought the laundry downstairs yesterday to be washed.

I think I would vote for Danielle. She found the note!

New Most Embarrassing Moment

Guess what happened this afternoon? While I was in the doctor's office? During the annual exam?

My doctor picked up a small sparkling fleck of something (probably genuine rhinestone debris from my new necklace) from my right breast then said, "Oh! What's this? Kind of sparkly! You must be trying to make this appointment extra special!"

I wanted to die, but laughed instead. That was a better choice, I thought.

Bambi's Babies

Bambi, the rabbit had her litter. EIGHT babies. We'll keep you updated.

More Quinnspressions

Me: Shouldn't you write your summary now?
Quinn: Don't worry, Mom. I know that book behind my hand.
Translation: He will write the summary later, but not to worry, because he knows that book like the back of his hand.

Me: Come sit down and eat your pork chop.
Quinn: I love chicken!
Me: It's pork not chicken.
Quinn: Whatever. Look out, cow! Here's my mouth!
Me: It's pork - from a pig.
Quinn: (chewing) Mmmmm! Good pig.

The Call

Well, maybe not THE call, but an important one nonetheless. Rachel ditched her first band lesson this week because she wants to quit. Her band teacher noticed and gave her a personal phone call this afternoon inviting her back to sixth grade band.

Rachel says she will "try it for one week . . . because (her band director) called."

Hmmm . . . I might need to have that woman call here when it's time to wash the dishes, change the bedsheets and clean rooms. Just an idea . . .

Leaving

That was Quinn's favorite thing about his first full day of school. This could be a long year.

That Was Easy

I went to Staples today to purchase the new Norton Antivirus 2007. There was a $40 rebate for the $59 item. Then I used my $17 bonus bucks and brought in an inkjet cartridge to recycle, which gives me $3 to spend. I think my purchases were almost free.

I told the cashier that Staples is such a great place to shop and the only way to make it better would be to pay ME when I walk in the door. Her response? "I'll pay you if you take the manager outta here!"

HA! She doesn't know that I'm friends with her manager's wife.

Life 201

Quinn and Rachel missed the bus this morning but were not late for school. Not so for me.

The brand new school building where I work was having a minor difficulty on our first day of school - the air conditioning did not work.

As dismissal began at my school, I received a phone call from the nurse at Quinn's school to tell me he was sick. I brought him home and fed him applesauce and a corn dog. Methinks he is nursing this a bit in order to avoid fourth grade.

The mechanic called to tell us what's wrong with the car. It needs a new computer. A new $900.00 computer. Yeah, well so do I, but now that will have to wait.

On the upside - as soon as this thunderstorm moves through the temps should be more tolerable. We have no debt except our mortgage. The refrigerator and freezer are full of food. We have beds in the house for five and could sleep three more on couches. The new neighbors haven't called the cops on us yet and I'm having a pretty decent hair day.

Life 101

Well, Quinn's fever is still 101 anyway.

The tow truck Found the car On the Road , even though it's a Nissan, not a FORD. Mike just got home. The mechanic thinks he might be able to find out what's wrong with it this time.

I think I annoyed some coworkers today as we were writing a list of "shared values" for the school year. They wanted to include, "We will listen to others' ideas without being judgmental." I said, "NO WAY! I'm all about being judgmental! That's what you teachers do all day! You judge the quality of work, you judge the content of responses and you judge the students' behavior. I most certainly judge the ideas I hear to decide if they are worthy of consideration." Now, I will give them a polite listen-to and fair evaluation, but JUDGING them, we MUST do.

I got no response except this one, "How about this value - We will respond to one another in a kind voice and in a non-threatening manner?"

Am I threatening? Unkind?

I prefer the label "decisive."

Caution

Watch what you wish for. I escaped the conference this morning, during which I would have had to sit for about four hours.

How? Quinn has a fever and a cough.

A friend of mine once wished that he had a job that only required driving to the office to pick up a paycheck every week. Soon thereafter he underwent re-constructive knee surgery and . . . well . . . you know.

Not so Bad

Today was the second of three days of mandatory inservice. It's called a HOPE Summit. (Harnessing Optimism and Potential through Education) I HOPE tomorrow will be better. Today I had to form triads with people I did not know and tell them if I were a punctuation mark, what would I be? And if I were a weather pattern, what would I be?

I'll tell you that if I were a superhero I'd like the ability to be invisible. Then, I could sneak out of that place!!

Otherwise, the van has been bailed out of Midas, Quinn's fever has disappated? disapated? disaparated? (gone away for a while) and I only have about four more hours of sitting tomorrow before I can get to my room and think about getting back to work.

Real Life

Rachel has her alarm set for 6 am so that we can fix her hair for the first day of school. Her clothes are picked out, her backpack is ready and she may even have chosen her breakfast cereal. Mike has taken the day off, which happens to be a very good thing. Why? Let me count the ways:
1. My vehicle is at Midas.
2. Quinn has a fever.
3. I have to be at a conference all day.
4. Mike is fairly calm under stress.

Sorry

Quinn told me it's not funny to make fun of people.

Sorry, Micheal.

Now what am I going to blog about?

Grocery Shopping

Mike volunteered to pick up a few items from the grocery store as long as I wrote them out on a list for him. I wrote: 3 red peppers, 3 sweet onions. He came back with three green peppers and a bunch of white onions.

He tried to make me feel sorry for him by saying that he couldn't concentrate on shopping because he had to go to the bathroom.

Now he's watching golf in his sleep on the couch. It's been a long day already.

Gotcha!

Mike and I took the van to vacuum it at the local car wash a couple evenings ago. I put the three quarters in. I climbed in and around the vehicle at top speed, trying to remove all the State Fair gunk before the timer ran down. Mike shook out a few car mats and made sure the hose had enough slack, but mostly enjoyed standing behind me and watching me work.

After finishing the job, the vacuum was still running so I swung it over toward Mike (accidentally?) connecting with the inseam section of his khaki shorts. I've never seen his eyes get so big or heard his voice pitch so high. Where's candid camera when ya need it?

Good Morning, Sunshine!

What's worse than waking up early on Sunday when you could have slept in?

Being awakened by your husband's shrill screams as your son uses tweezers for the first time in an attempt to remove a stray hair from his father's back.

Days of Rage

My friend, Mrs. Bickerson, says she has about 2.5 days of rage per month. I wonder how many my husband would say I have . . . Unfortunately, these days will coincide with the beginning of school and the three day multi-million dollar obligatory conference. I don't like sitting still.

Nothing Funny

Nothing funny happened today. I have a theory that it's too hot for anything funny to happen. Speaking of unfunny . . . School begins next week. My husband said, "I thought you said you had 85 days off?!"

Well, yeah, I did. Now they're gone.

EWWWW! That's Disgusting!

The boy's at camp during the hottest week of the year so far. You'd think his sister would be overjoyed with the quiet ride home (no one to touch or taunt her) - but no. You know how they say if someone is missing from a group that another person will take over the absent person's responsibilities?

I'm not sure if it was Rachel or Mike who initiated it, but they both started arguing and wrestling (in the van while I was driving). The next thing I knew, Rachel was being punished. Mike used her finger to clean wax out of his ear.

Is this creative punishment or is it punishable by DCFS?

Tweenagers: Tip #1

Never handle a pot full of boiling water and corn on the cob while "discussing" an issue with your tweenager.

A cold shower, much aloe, 28 hours and many ice packs later, my left forearm resembles a bad sunburn.

Toilenated!

We've been toilenated! It's a beautiful sunny day and I looked out the back window to see toilet paper streaming from our little oak tree. Who did it?

RACHEL! She thinks it looks really cool.

Beans

I was talking to a neighbor lady in the grocery store this morning and must have distracted her significantly, because sometime during our little chat she fumbled her find and baked beans oozed onto the floor.

"Oops!" I said, "looks like you spilled the beans!"

Ha! Could ya ever set up a situation like that?! I mean, who gets to say that in a literal sense?!

By the way, my neighbor did not think the situation as funny as I did. I hope she'll still let me borrow her food processor later this week.

No Give-Aways

I'm not going to give away the ending, so you can keep reading (or not).

My predictions given in the previous post were not necessarily in line with book #7, but I must say that I was completely satisfied with JK Rowling's work. She thoroughly explained unanswered questions and gave this reader much to contemplate. I would definitely rank this series comparable with CS Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia.

The themes of love, forgiveness, faithfulness and sacrifice were woven masterfully throughout the series. Well done.

Final Answer

Actually, this is my final prediction about Harry Potter and the ly Hallows:

Severus Snape will kill Voldemort in the final showdown, saving Harry and the wizarding world, intentionally sacrificing himself in the process. As an aside - I believe that Lilly Potter's sister, Petunia Dursley, is magical and that Harry will communicate with Dumbledore through his portrait.

I'm about to wake up Rachel to go purchase the book. I still haven't decided if we will buy one or two.

New Used Car

The Sentra had been acting up for three days. We nursed it to the auto mechanic shop and they drove it periodically through the day yesterday and it reportedly "runs like a champ." We told them to keep it until they figure out what's wrong.

On an unrelated note - Quinn walked to a neighbor's home to let their dogs out (as requested) but ran home worried that people might be watching him "break into the backyard."

"Like, what if somebody calls 9-9-1?! Then what would happen to me?!"

Ummm . . . pretty much nothing.

On another unrelated note - Rachel is at camp so the house is pretty darn quiet.

About Bob -

My friend called tonight and told me about her five-year-old son's imaginary friend, Bob. Yesterday her son and older daughter were arguing loudly about who should buckle Bob's seatbelt. To diffuse the situation, my friend's husband asked how Bob liked church that morning.

Laughter rang out as her little boy explained that Bob didn't get to go to church because nobody let him out of the van! His big sister then triumphantly rationalized that she did not need to buckle Bob's seatbelt because it must have been on the whole time since Bob never left the van.

It's True

I'm a sinner. And in case other kids in Quinn's Sunday school class were unaware of this, he made sure to tell them. He even reported the specific word I used Saturday night when I pulled down the new shade and it unfurled in my hand.

On the way home from church he asked me if he knew all the bad words now or if there are more he could learn from his Uncle Matt.

Family Reunion

I'm sure it's been more than ten years since this crew has been photographed together. Ed, Mike, Sharon, Pat and Cyndy - you're lookin' good! However, it did take a few times for all of them to look in the same direction. Not sure if it was eyesight, hearing or memory . . .

Home Tweet Home

Birdhouses made with the help of PaPa Wayne. Please disregard the air gun. It's use was under close supervision at all times.

Alabama Pictures

Happy Anniversary, Honey! Fifteen years strong. I love you.

They Love Swimming

Here is Quinn with his cousin, Owen. They braved the 70 degree temperatures to have a good ol' time at the local pool. Not sure if they are up to synchronized competition just yet. Still working on remembering not to breath under water.

All About Words

Quinn told me that he was reading a great book about how a knight and his SQUIRREL were fighting to save the kingdom from an evil man. I thought about it a minute before deciding that he must be talking about a SQUIRE. ("Oh, yeah," he replied.)

That's OK. Earlier today he reported that his sister was POSSESSED by baked potato chips. I think he meant to say OBSESSED. Maybe we ought to focus our dinner conversations on things other than Harry and Voldemort.

Disappointed

Overall, I was disappointed in the movie "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix." Where was the underlying theme of love being the most powerful force in the universe and thus the only thing that can conquer Voldemort? Where were the explanations by Sirius and Dumbledore about how some things are worse than dying and how some things are worth dying for?

I know these movies are being made quickly, but don't you think that audiences would sit three hours or more for a properly told story?

Her Shoes are made for Walking

. . . to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. This will be the fifth movie and we plan on taking the kids. We have read the book together (twice, actually) and I think they are adequately prepared for the intense actions and emotions. Rachel thinks she is going to wake up at midnight and walk (7 miles) to the movie theater in order to catch the first showing. I think she's got a few details to work out in her plan.

By the way, I believe that Professor Snape, although mean and to Harry, is still on the side of GOOD and will actually sacrifice himself in order to save Harry and destroy Voldemort in the seventh book (which releases on the 21st). My second-choice scenario is that Neville will be the hero and sacrificial character. However politically correct it may be in literary themes to off Harry as he simultaneously destroys Voldemort, I just don't think that JK Rowling's child audience could handle that. I don't think I could handle that.

Is it Legal?

I picked up a hitch hiker this morning - but I didn't think it was a hitcher. I saw a very old woman wearing long pants and turtle neck shirt walking in 90 degree heat between the restaurant and the hospital. I assumed she must be walking back to the hospital to visit someone. I pulled over and helped her into the backseat (My children were horrified.). We quickly learned that she was not going to the hospital, but was hitching her way "back home," which was two states away.

Hmmm . . . an angel in disguise or a nursing home escapee?

Quicksand

"Papa! Stop! You're getting in the quicksand!" warned my three year old nephew as my dad stepped into his room yesterday morning.

"What?!" said Papa, "Who told you there was quicksand in here?"

"Mama did," replied Owen. "That's what the carpet turns into when the lights go out."

Interesting strategy for keeping your child in his bed all night, thought I.

Track Star

As he streaked out of the van after riding for nearly three hours, Quinn hollered, "Look out! I'm gonna hurdle!!"

I'm thinking, is he sick or is he going to jump over something?

Rescue

I just extricated my son's tongue from his toy rifle. Not sure why he stuck it inside the barrel. Less sure why he set it and pulled the trigger. Definite shell-shock here.

I made him wash his mouth with hydrogen peroxide and said, "I hope you've learned a valuable lesson about going around sticking your tongue in guns!"

Sounds like the title of a how-to book for parents.

I'd Forgotten

We had a guest with us in the van today. As I was driving down the highway, she said, "Miss Marcie? Can you come here for a second?"

Ha! I'd forgotten how funny it is to have a five-year-old.

Be the Parent

We had guest speakers at church today - John and Kendra Smiley - authors and international speakers. Their recent book is titled, "Be the Parent: Seven Choices you can make to Raise Great Kids."

Mike and I sat near the front of the group, listening intently and looking forward to employing some of their strategies. Little did we know how quickly we would have to, well . . . be the parent.

On the way out of church, Quinn asked a question quietly a couple times, but I could not hear him. Finally, he inquired loudly, "Why does it smell like farts in here?" Heads turned, I raised my eyebrows and smiled down at him with a flushing face.

I'll wonder if the Smileys have a chapter on that one?

Metropolis

And what vacation could be complete without a quick jaunt through Metropolis (Illinois) where one can take a picture with Superman?

Gulf Shores

The water here was a little choppy, but that made it interesting.

And look! The kids are acting like friendlies.

SHARK ATTACK!

(not really) BUT . . . we had warned the kids about what could be found in the ocean and had strict rules about not going in the ocean alone and not going in past their knees unless they had their inner tube things, so they had a healthy fear.

I'm just glad neither had kept up with the Steve Irvin tragedy, because Quinn got stung or bit or something in the area of his heart at about 7:30 last night. He jumped out of the water and came running up, certain that he had been attacked by something and worried that Mike was going to have to urinate on him.

Instead, we got some benadryl and lidacaine and put him to bed. Looks OK now.

Son on the Beach

So is the daughter.

Sandy white beaches and sparkling blue waters near Destin, Florida were my favorite. The kids are more excited about the stronger waves here in Gulf Shores, Alabama. We asked the lifeguard at the beach why a yellow flag was flying. He told us because there are some moderate sized waves and you shouldn't try to breath underwater.

Quinn's mission is to catch a sea gull, put him in the hog trailer and keep him as a pet.

Mike is enjoying his twelfth Father's Day at the hotel pool with his immediate descendents. I'm enjoying the airconditioned lobby of this nice hotel.

To Battleship Alabama tomorrow . . . Happy Father's Day, Dad!

We've only just begun

Stayed in Chattanooga last night and the kids and I ate at an IHOP while mike made the first pig swap. Don't tell Mike we ate without him - he loves IHOP. Made three pig deliveries today, added coolant, replaced wiper blades and am currently using the computer at a boar stud in southern Georgia (Thank you kindly, Mr. C.). I got a great picture of a boar tour, our first official stop on our vacation. Dirt (more like sand) really is red. Temperature is hot. People are friendly. Trailer is officially empty. Tonight . . . Florida.

Funny things so far: After driving for about 6 hours, Rachel suddenly exclaimed, "We have to stop! My eyes hurt and I can't feel my nose!" I think she's better now. Quinn continues to listen on headphones to the overhead DVD player while working his Gameboy magic. A large clothes basket of snacks, books and games separate the two in the backseat.

Stay tuned.

Gettin' Ready

. . . for our "Redneck Roadtrip." We will post as possible during our tour of Tennessee, Georgia, Florida, Alabama and Mississippi. Rachel is practicing her best Southern accent. Quinn is working on gentility (though I'll probably use a different word for him, just in case he has a vocabulary override and uses a word that sounds more like his privates).

It's Good to have a Job

Quinn's Rant: WHAT?! What do you mean Dad's not home?! He went to work?! In the summer?! I told him and told him that job's no good! Whoever heard of a job that makes you go to work every day?!

My Advice: If going to work every day tends to cramp your style, you might want to consider a job in academia. For further information, please refer to the post titled, "Eighty-Five Days."

Vocabulary Enhancement

Quinn to Rachel: "Get out of my facility! You know that it was Karen who expired me to play this game, not you!"

I think he meant for Rachel to get away from him (and the general vicinity). He was clearly annoyed that she was giving him Gameboy hints when it was his friend, Karen who had introduced him to (and really, inspired his interest in) the game.

Proof

Ah, photographic proof of the existence of Pet Deer. Yeah, it looks a bit skinny and wild-eyed to me. I hope it doesn't show up and try to eat my birthday cake from my plate.

Hey, It's My Birthday!

Mr. Rellim is at the World Pork Expo (where else?!), Rachel is still catching some zzz's and Quinn is trying to conquer some electronic challenge on his gameboy. I'm working quickly on this post so my Dad won't know I'm using his computer. I may have to wipe the keyboard for fingerprints.

This picture was taken after Rachel's spring band concert a couple weeks ago. She plays trumpet well.

New Diagnosis

"Oh, she must be blind sighted," said Quinn as he observed a woman walking down our street. I turned to see the woman and noticed that she was wearing sunglasses and using two thin white canes in a Nordic-track-like fashion. I had to explain that she was not visually impaired, but merely using the canes to increase her upper-body workout. Next, we talked about blindness, visual impairment and the phrase "blind-sided."

Who says kids don't learn things during summer vacation?

Pet Deer

I could only wonder if my father had finally "lost it" as he described in detail how he had made friends with a deer in his backyard last week. As the story grew and he talked about petting the deer and taking two of my nephews to visit the deer, I could only ask, "Dad, could anyone else see the deer?"

I don't think he found that question very funny. I suggested they name the deer Jane Doe. Quinn asked why he didn't shoot it since he was so close. Mike commented, "Lyme Disease is forever."

Good news - the deer is real and hung around the yard for a few days. Bad news - it started eating Mom's flowers and had to be chased on down the road.

Anatomy

Mike and Quinn seemed to be having a good time playing catch with the Nerf football before school on Friday. I looked out the window just in time to see Quinn miss a catch and take one in the face. That wasn't funny, but his response made me laugh. Quinn ran into the house, loudly announcing that he would "never play football again because Dad hit me with the ball in my good nostril!!"