Hydrangeas

Yes, these are real. The hydrangeas must like the wet weather we've had this year.

Sunday Afternoon

Mr. Rellim told me he was going to do some reading this afternoon. At least the book is with him.

BMW Dreamin'

Yeah, this is Rachel and my dad standing near an awesome vehicle in a mall parking lot. I guess this is what my dad wants for his 60th birthday in December. He did get to drive it because it was a LOANER vehicle from a dealership.

The last loaner vehicle I drove had ceiling peeling from the interior and one headlight!

Parade Time

Rachel marched in another parade, wearing her 1845 pioneer best. Quinn called for candy, but she reminded him that they would probably have only had rock candy back then. Rock candy? Hmmm . . . not so strange considering the loot we did receive from the parade: tootsie rolls and suckers (sure), but also dog treats, cat food, popsicles, bagels, frisbees, nerf balls, t-shirts, invitations to join karate class, advertisements for Avon and Tupperware ladies and coupons for various local restaurants. Rock candy would carry the element of danger due to possible bystander injury, but it may be something to consider for next year.

The Tale of Two Children

My friend Lisa just called (the one who was in my dream) and asked where I was yesterday morning. The phone call she had with Quinn went something like this:

Q: Hello?
L: Hi, Quinn. Can I talk to your mom?
Q: Well, let me see if I can find her. (walks around the house) Nope I can't find her. Let me see if there is a car here. (walks outside to the garage) Nope there's no car here. She must be gone.
L: Do you know where she is?
Q: Nope
L: Is your sister home?
Q: Well I don't think so. I didn't see her. She must be somewhere with Mom.
***********************************************************************************
You know, I'm happy that Quinn is secure and easy-going. He must get that from his father.
***********************************************************************************
Listen, I don't just leave my children alone. In fact, I had a specific conversation with my son only minutes before that went something like this:

M: Quinn, I'm leaving to take Rachel to (this certain place).
Q: Uh-huh
M: Look at me. I'm going to be gone for about 20 min. Will you be OK here by yourself?
Q: Yep.
M: Don't answer the door. Don't answer the phone unless it's me or Dad. Don't eat anything while I'm gone.
Q: Gotcha, Mom.
***********************************************************************************
Let's contrast that story with the time when Mike and I told Rachel we were going for a walk.
***********************************************************************************
M: Rachel, we are going out for a walk. You and Quinn stay in the house and don't answer the door or the phone unless it's us. OK
R: Where are you going? When will you be home? Turn on your cell phone. What should I do if the laundry beeps? How many minutes will you be gone? I'm going to call you if you aren't home in 20 minutes.
M: Calm down! I'll have my cell phone with me and we will be in the neighborhood.
R: (calling 19 and 1/2 minutes later) Where are you? I've been wondering when you'll be home. You said you'd be home in 20 minutes!

Speaking of Dreams

I woke this morning to the sound of my son giggling in his sleep. Made me smile. How sweet. At least I think it's sweet. Maybe I should ask what the dream was about - or not. I think I'll just imagine that the dream was about eating ice cream and playing with puppies.

Dear Freud

I dreamed that my friend and I were working in some covert operation. We were in a hotel near the coast (don't know which one). For whatever reason, the success of our mission rested on making sure this large line of children were properly bathed. We were sending them (stealthily) to our hotel room shower in groups of three so as to not be noticed. Before the last child was showered, a large helicopter swooped down to shoot at ships in the harbor, but it was hit by missiles before it could attack the ships.

I don't know who the bad guys were, but I was glad that the helicopter was shot down. Then I woke up to Chris Tomlin singing "Amazing Grace/My Chains are Gone."

Any dream interpreters out there?

Cranberry Juice

It is possible that a person might drink cranberry juice just because.

My son (apparently) is unaware of this, having only been given cranberry juice when he had a urinary tract infection (accompanied by a stinging/tingling sensation in his private area).

So, should I be surprised that he just loudly asked, "Why are you drinking cranberry juice, Mom? Is your (insert your favorite word for privates) tingling?"

What's your S.T.O.R.Y.?

This is an excellent book for anyone searching for her niche. Practical strategies to help unveil individual strengths and talents are backed up with encouragement that each of us is important and unique.

S = Strengths
T = Topic
O = Optimal conditions
R = Relationships
Y = Yes!

Where is your sweet spot? It's where your talents collide with God's will.

FYI

1. Never rub your eyes while chopping fresh jalapenos.
2. I think I may be allergic to avocados.
3. We accidentally destroyed our second paper shredder this year.

A Man in Michigan

A man in Michigan is suing a publisher of the Bible. Apparently, some passages caused him to feel bad about himself. I wonder why he isn't suing the author?

Found Another One

Rachel actually let Quinn sink her into the sand so they could be the same height. Pretty cute.

Went to a wedding

. . . and found the all-time winner for best guest party favor. Hilarious. Can anyone contribute to this post?

Thank you!

Uncle Terry and Aunt Gail are our vacation super heroes.

BTW, that is not a two-headed dog, but the picture is very funny. Their names are Molly and Roscoe. Quinn kept calling them Moley and Rascal.

Yes, Iowa.

It sounds kind of boring, but not really. Mike's Uncle and Aunt built a cottage on a lake and it was like our own private resort. Check out these pictures. The kids got to go tubing. Mike and I attempted to use a jet ski. One of us does not have a very good sense of balance, so that plan had to be scrapped (after I was DUMPED and nearly drowned!). We each had our own bedroom, so it took a lot longer for us to get on Rachel's nerves (ahhh, preteens).

Guess where we were?

No.

Quinn just asked, "Hey, Mom? Can you go outside and get me that lighter I found? I want to show Dad how I can light things up."

Fireworks

They were interesting. Started out with an old, old bomber flying loop-de-loops. The first five loops were pretty cool. The next fifteen loops got a little bit old. The pyrotechnics were nice. We probably should have gotten a little bit closer. Instead of driving to the parking lot and sitting in the lawn area with everyone else, we decided to back into a country ditch a couple miles away (so we could avoid traffic!). Well, we got stuck in the tall wet grass and Mr. Rellim was not there to push us out. Fortunately, some strong, nice drunk people were up to the task. Happy 232nd!

Happy Birthday, America!

"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom, must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it."

— Thomas Paine, author

Sunfall

I kinda like the word. According to Quinn, that is when fireworks will start tomorrow.

What Did You Say?!

Quinn and I were walking this morning and I had just reprimanded him for trying to burp or pass gas with every step, when he said to me, "Mom, you know, we should really think about the national debt."

"What about it?" I asked, certain that he had inadvertently used a phrase that he had no idea about.

Instead, I was floored with this response, "You know, the national debt is over 5 trillion dollars now and with every war, the debt continues to skyrocket. The only way we can pay off the debt is to raise taxes and I'm not really into paying for other people's poor spending choices."

"Uh . . yeah . . . I agree with you," I said.

Where did he get this information? SCHOOL HOUSE ROCK music cartoons!!!!!!!

WRONG Answer

Rachel asked me why a certain group of boys are "nice and normal" when they talk to her but "act all weird" when more girls are around. I told her that the boys probably feel comfortable around her because she is nice to them while the girls she mentioned are often giggly and flighty.

"What do you think?" I asked Mr. Rellim.

Mr. Rellim replied, "Well, Rachel, the truth is that boys have only one thing on their mind and it makes it hard to concentrate."

"What thing?" asked Rachel.

I shot the man the look of certain death if he were to continue.

"What thing?" asked Quinn.

"Oooooh!" said Rachel, then fell into a silence that lasted until she and her brother started laughing hysterically.

I hope they were thinking about Scooby Doo or American Idol.

Friends for Lunch

Haven't seen Mr. Rellim for about 30 minutes. I'm getting lunch ready for some friends, so he decided to go detail the van. OK, so I asked him to do it (for my birthday 3 weeks ago!). Better late than never?

When Does Life Begin?

Not such a tough question, is it?

All Smiles

Quinn with his spoils after four days of basketball camp. Seems he made two of ten free throws in the contest today to claim the free throw champion medal for all boys his age.

Illiterate

Friends of ours recently welcomed a baby daughter into their family. (Keep in mind these friends raise pigs.) Their four year old son asked if he and his sister were illiterate.

It took them a while to figure out that he was really asking if he and his sister were littermates.

Corpse Flower

We just missed its blooming - and it only happens once every six years. Oh well, that means we also missed its stench. They don't call it a corpse flower for nothing. Yes, it really is about six feet tall. Native to Indonesia.

Fancy Schmancy Wedding

Yet another Rellim wedding provides food and fun. This one was a bit on the "uptown" formal side. At least I thought so, until the bridal party joined in the paper bag dance. During this dance, everyone placed a Jewel/Osco paper shopping bag over his head to have a dance-off. The set-up was that only one person was unknowingly left to dance while the others watched. Very entertaining. Congrats to Andy and Kristi!

Elizabeth Jane circa 1845

Rachel spent the entire day as a volunteer pioneer. Most of the morning she hoisted a scythe and harvested a wheat field. For noon victuals, she made biscuits at the fireplace and picked lettuce from the garden. Now at home, she is enjoying a long shower. (A person can only rough-it for so long!)

Guess Where We Were?

Rachel and my mom posed near the Arch in St. Louis. We did not take the tram to the top. Did it once in 1977. Scared me enough to last over 30 years. The elevator at the Hilton was exciting enough for me.

Envelopes

Do students no longer receive instruction on how to address envelopes? My twelve-year-old daughter practically needed hand over hand assist to complete this task today. I'm serious! She didn't even know where on the envelope to write the address (offset center). She put the zip code on the line under the name - in front of the street address. She didn't know the abbreviation for Illinois.

Her explanation: "Who writes letters anymore? I only send emails."

Rachel's Prayer

(As best I can recall)

"Dear God, please help Mom realize that when she dies and goes to heaven - and I think it is a pretty good possibility that she will get to go there - that there won't be houses that need to be cleaned or picked up. So help her to GET A GRIP and take it easy on us because a messy house is not the most important thing to worry about."

New Home?

One of my sisters called to tell me about an awesome home with over 17,000 square feet of living space for sale near me for only 68 grand. Not sure how much it would cost to take out the asbestos. We risked trespassing charges to photograph the brick giant. I think the chain link fence, blacktop and metal swings come with it.

Happy Belated Father's Day

"Fathers have an incalculable impact on their daughters. Most psychologists believe, and I am one of them, that all future romantic relationships to occur in a girl’s life will be influenced positively or negatively by the way she perceives and interacts with her dad."

— Dr. James Dobson, adapted from his
Complete Marriage and Family Home Reference Guide

We're Back

During a four-day experience with family, one often receives interesting counsel. We have settled on our favorite from this past weekend.

"Don't walk with your hands in your pockets. If you fall down, you'll break both of your elbows!!"

How to Annoy your Brother

. . . in five words or less - "Remember when your gerbil died?"

Next, say it over and over again while he's trying to eat supper.

Upon return to the table after being sent to your room for starting a screaming argument, apologize by saying, "I'm sorry for talking about when your gerbil died."

When your mother reprimands you, stare at her quizzically and say, "WHAT?!"

Dear IRS

My son doesn't know how he got this hole in his shirt and I don't know why you keep sending us letters. I mean, YES - it does seem sorta unusual that someone would sell feed as a side job and actually incur more expenses than income, but isn't that what happens in the ag industry?

Once when Mr. Rellim was out of earshot, his family banker asked me, "Do you know what a farmer would do with $1 million dollars? Keep farming until he needed more money!"

Anyway, keep your pants on, IRS! The reams of supporting documentation are headed your way.

What Is It?

These big balls are all over a huge, old tree alongside our house. Nobody has been able to identify the balls or the tree. We have no idea. I do know what they sound like when they hit the roof and side of the house going 80 miles per hour, propelled by straight line winds. SCARY.

More Talk

I was showing my daughter certain "accessories" necessary to deal with a monthly cycle, and I questioned how well she was taking this serious discussion. You see, most interactions in our home are informal and often sarcastic. (I'm sure you can barely believe that.)

I suppose I was relieved (sorta - in a strange way) to notice she was attempting to stick something in her right nostril. Anything to help lighten the mood of the discussion.

Smart as a Fifth Grader?

I was helping Quinn with a crossword puzzle and asked him the continent where the Sahara Desert could be found. He said, "I don't know. Probably somewhere with a really warm climate."

Gifted

Rachel was stealth-snacking on one of those drumstick ice cream treats. I gave her the "caught ya!" look and pointed to the sofa cushion next to her, indicating a piece of chocolate coating that had fallen. She picked it up and popped it into her mouth.

I then noticed a chunk on the floor, so pointed toward it. Again, Rachel picked it up and put it in her mouth. But this time, she started spitting and hollering. Uh . . . it wasn't chocolate. I think it was dirt.

Go-Togethers

Linus has his blanket. Sponge Bob has his Patrick. Mr. Rellim has his pillow. I'm assuming he has had this pillow since BC (before college). It looks as if it has survived a few roadtrips and maybe even a thunderstorm or two. In 1994 it kept him company the week he slept at his hog-buying station in Iowa.

I've tried to "air it," hide it and cover it. I have even tried to lose it. The pillow returns.

Today I gave him the option of shopping for a new pillow for his Father's Day gift. He stared at me but did not answer. I suggested that we first put the pillow out to sea in a gasoline-soaked boat, then shoot flaming arrows at it. He asked, "Who do we know with a bow and arrow?"

Aha! I think we are heading toward a compromise.

It Happened

We figured it was only a matter of time. She's called the cops on everyone else in the neighborhood. Tonight was our turn. Apparently she could tell (based on her immense experience with little dogs) that the four pigs on the trailer parked in front of our home for the last ten hours were being abused.

The two police officers who came to "investigate the complaint" were pleasantly surprised to find four fine, well-fed and watered swine. They were obliged to give us options if we would like to move the truck and trailer, but they found no basis for the complaint and apologized for our inconvenience.

Hmmm . . . now to get Quinn to sleep. He was certain that his daddy was, "going to get cuffed!"

The End of Reason

Pleasure without boundaries produces life without purpose - Ravi Zacharias

This book is best read AFTER reading Sam Harris' "Letter to a Christian Nation" - or not. Ravi replies to the illogical arguments, errors and misrepresentation of facts in Harris' book. I enjoy a good debate, but this is definitely one-sided. God wins.

I'm a Traditionalist

And I support abstinence education. What else is 100% effective at preventing pregnancy and STDs? Do you trust these statistics?

Maria Sue Chapman

If you follow contemporary Christian music, you probably already know that Steven Curtis Chapman's youngest daughter died a week ago. Have you read his (manager's) blog that describes her memorial service? Absolutely beautiful.

Perhaps, like me, you will be moved to contribute to Maria's Miracle Fund.

Teeth

Quinn lost a tooth last night. He lost another one the night before. The tooth fairy is going to go broke.

(Reminds me of another time we threw money away. . . . Rachel's dentist advised us that she needed a partial root canal. We paid $700 for it. The tooth fell out two weeks later . . .)

Quinn's trying to save up for a Nintendo DS game, so I've been watching him wiggle some other teeth today. I told him he could weed the garden and I'd pay him five bucks. No deal.

Total Money Makeover

Dave Ramsey writes in his book a profound thought:

"It is the duty of the good people to get wealth to keep it from the bad people, because the good people will do good with it. If we all abandon money because some misguided souls view it as evil, then the only ones with money will be the p*@nographer, the d r u gdealer, or the pimp. Simple enough?"

Good book. Great, practical plan for financial security. Reminiscent of Larry Burkett.

Vocabulary Lesson

Quinn asked me if I knew where his Nerf Gun ammo could be. I told him, "You'll probably find it in that abyss called your bedroom."

He quickly ran to his father to tell him, "Mom just cussed at me!"

Class Reunion

What's twenty years among friends? At the formal banquet, there were three women attending from the class of 1933. Amazing. The speaker from the class of 1938 told a story about his dog named "sex." I guess when you are 87 years old (and have just contributed 100 grand to the school district), you can talk about whatever you want . . .

Grandma Phoebe

This picture shows that one is never too old to learn new tricks. It was sweet to see what a patient teacher Quinn could be. Who doesn't want to play Nintendo DS?

March 1st Wedding

1st: Rellim Family

2nd: Mr. Rellim with his two brothers, two nephews and Quinn, on the occasion of a beautiful wedding.

Pretty

The cheddar pinks are blooming. Come see my garden! Sorry, couldn't smile. Sun was in my eyes.

Prince Caspian

Douglas Gresham, C.S. Lewis' stepson, is co-director on this film that is absolutely amazing. The battle scenes are somewhat intense, but the themes of honor, integrity, loyalty and love abound. The directors even added a bit of flirting to their version. The scene where Lucy stands with Aslan alone at one end of the bridge over the Fords of Beruna , holding only a small dagger, against the entire army of Miraz reminded me of David and Goliath. This is a must-see!

Can You Drive 55?

I tried it today. Weird. I think I could run that fast. I felt that I should run behind the van and push it to help us go faster. I can see how someone could have a false sense of security that applying make-up, texting, calling, eating or shaving does not interfere with driving skills.

Oligarchy!

"The California Supreme Court clearly decided "what ought to be" rather than "what is." But the function of "what ought to be" belongs to the people and their elected legislators, not a handful of crusading escapees from law school who find the actual practice of judging d eadly boring when compared to the temptation of creating social policy. . . .

A proposed constitutional amendment defining marriage as between one man and one woman awaits the voters of California in November, having received more than 1.1 million signatures during the petition process. If that amendment passes, perhaps the justices on the California Supreme Court will be forced to dust off their unused copies of the state constitution and discover that it is the citizens, not the courts, who decide how they should be governed."

by Bruce Hausknecht, judicial analyst

Household Chores

Ever feel like it could be one of your children winning this award some day? I've actually been waiting three days for Rachel to clear her school papers off the kitchen table. I keep setting the table on top of her papers. It doesn't seem to bother her at all.

Endoscopy

Rachel asked me why a tube with a light on it would have to go inside her friend's dad's butt. I briefly described colonoscopy and age-related preventative medicine. I told her this procedure for the colon is analogous to the annual pap smear for women. I knew I shouldn't have started this conversation over breakfast, but it had to happen sometime. It ended with her loudly proclaiming, "THAT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME!"

Bedtime

Quinn has requested that his new bedtime be "permanently" changed to 8:30. Planning ahead, he has also DEMANDED that his bedtime be 9:00 when he turns 16.

I made the deal. Now I'd like to get that in writing.

Sixth Grade Chorus Concert

The first song on the program was "Gloria." Mr. Rellim started humming, "G-L-O-R-I-A -- Gloooooooria!" He was extremely disappointed when the chorus sang, "Gloria in excelsis deo." Rachel also sang in the show choir that performed Greased Lightning. Mike told her that she was the best dancer and that he could hear her singing above all the others. I tried to tell him that was not complimentary and he said, "Your mom doesn't know what she's talking about. My ears are more 'atute' than hers."

I think he combined "astute" and "in tune." Mr. Rellim, you're a hoot!

One Month to Live: 30 Days to a No-Regrets Life

This book by Kerry and Chris Shook was . . . eh . . . OK. If you've read Rick Warren's Purpose-Driven Life, then you might consider it repetitious. There were some interesting analogies and practical applications suggested, but overall nothing particularly inspiring.

Next Up

The Complete C.S. Lewis Signature Classics

"A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word 'darkness' on the walls of his cell."
— C. S. Lewis

True Life

So far, I've spent this Mother's Day afternoon spending time with my children, sitting in front of a roaring fireplace, eating M & Ms and reading to them The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. I find this preferable to waiting to be served mediocre food at an over-crowded restaurant.

Now, I will not refuse to be served mediocre food by my loving family in my tiny kitchen this evening. I'm thinking that homemade barbeque chicken pizza sounds good.

Mother's Day

I would like my house to be clean and my daughter's room to be picked up, vacuumed and dusted. She told me I should ask for something more realistic.

Flying

In case you didn't know, I do NOT enjoying flying. Tomorrow my sister is taking her first flight (from Chicago to Texas) and called to ask me if I want any of her stuff in case she crashes and burns. I know she was kidding, but I called to tell her to put my name on her new couch and loveseat anyway.

Spicy Sweet Doritos

Quinn tried one then said, "Well, I like them OK, but I wouldn't want to make a living eating them."

Surprise

I got home early today and walked to the bus stop to surprise the kids. I waited and waited and waved to passing cars and chatted with my neighbor. After about 15 minutes I decided that I should just wait for them in our driveway. As I walked up the driveway I noticed our front door was open.

Surprise! My kids were ALREADY home and psyched that I was not around to monitor their after-school snacking. I guess I should read the school calendar more closely for those early dismissals.

I have a suspicion that my neighbor knew my kids were already home too. She was probably enjoying watching me wait in the sun and wind.

Decisions

“Wisdom and money can get you almost anything, but only wisdom can save your life.” Ecclesiastes 7:12 (NLT)

Use wisdom (or basic math) in discerning whether or not clearing $118/week can cover over $200/week in child care expenses. Contributor of this story shall remain anonymous.

ABCs

My nephew, Austin can sing the alphabet backward. I found that amazing. His little brother, Carson has a different skill. When I asked him to say his ABCs in order to get a chocolate chip cookie, he said, "B . . .C." When I prodded him for more, he added, "6 . . . 7!" then grabbed the cookie from my hand and ran away.

Ah! Surprise and diversion. Excellent skills for a three year old.

"If you ever have any questions . . . "

That's how I ended the most recent installment of "THE talk" series. To which Rachel replied, "What do you mean? Haven't you told me everything already? There's MORE to know? How am I supposed to ask questions about anything if you haven't told me everything?! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT I DON'T KNOW?! WHAT AREN'T YOU TELLING ME???!!!!"

Ahhh . . . hormones. That's it. I haven't told her about how hormones affect mood, appetite, decisions, anger management, how one speaks to her loved ones, etc.