Two Things

1. As Mr. Rellim brought in pork patties and a perfectly-grilled pork loin tenderloin from the grill, Quinn said, "YUM! I call the tail bone! It's mine!"
(FYI: Pork loin tenderloin whole is a boneless cut taken from the inside of loin. The largest end is round and gradually tapers to the thin flat end. Very tender, it is usually prepared by roasting, baking, braising, broiling, or grilling. See photo below.)

2. Yesterday, Quinn pondered aloud, "How do people decide if they will be Christian, Catholic or gay?"

Wow! That about sums it up - and it's only Monday. Stay tuned, folks.

Good Gifts

A short video to help us all keep our busy lives in perspective. And a short Bible verse -

Matthew 7:11 (NIV) If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Noodle Approval Rating

Then again, what wouldn't taste good drenched in homemade alfredo sauce?

Sweet Basil Noodles

Hmm . . . I've never made these before. Have you ever rolled up the dough before cutting into slices? The noodles are definitely more uniform than my typical haphazard pizza-cutter-roller-derby technique. We'll let you know how they taste. (recipe: 1.25 cups fresh basil, 3 cups flour, 3 eggs, 1/4 cups water, 2 tsp olive oil. blend together in food processor, knead for 8 min, rest for 30 min, divide into fourths, roll, cut, dry.)

Quinn Got Baptized

Today. At camp. In the pool. He was so happy. We are too.

Rachel and Friends

Rachel visited with some friends at a local pizza joint today for lunch. I noted a trick one used to convince her mother she was eating vegetables. She placed a serving of lettuce next to her slice of pizza, then kept using the same plate through the buffet line. She barely ate any lettuce, but to the casual observer, it seemed as though she was getting plenty of greens. I mentioned to her that I had noticed. She just smiled.

It's Her Birthday Too!

I mean, it WAS her birthday. Lauren is second from the right and was 15 years old yesterday. Happy Birthday, Lauren!!

You Say it's Your Birthday?

Well, it's Leigh's birthday too! She and Quinn are at camp for the next couple days. I don't imagine there will be any ballroom dance lessons there. Happy 12th birthday, Leigh!!

Bargains

I found nine items at JCPenney that I didn't even know I needed! I spent $54.41 but saved $258.11. You read it right! My sister, Jamie, says I should consider offering a personal shopping service. Just give me a call at 867-5309.

Multi-tasking

Here's Quinn kickin' back with two television remotes, two drinks and a plethora of popsicles. He's thinking about packing for camp which begins in about four hours.

He and Rachel are taking a rest following a successful pig show at the county fair. They both pulled down ribbons and Quinn secured a plaque for champion market gilt.

Perhaps when my multi-tasking telephone coughs up the pictures I took at the fair, I will be able to share them with you.

Rabbit Show

Check out the class winners and best in show and junior showmanship champion. Rachel should have shown up with a little broom on her belt loop, because she swept away the competition! Quinn left satisfied that his beloved rabbit, Lily, won a blue ribbon. Pig show is tomorrow.

100 Days Until We Vote

As David Brooks said in today's New York Times, "When John F. Kennedy and Ronald Reagan went to Berlin, their rhetoric soared, but their optimism was grounded in the reality of politics, conflict, and hard choices... Reagan didn't call for a kumbaya moment... Obama has benefited from a week of good images. But substantively, optimism without reality isn't eloquence. It's just Disney."

The problem, of course, is that a lot of Americans live in a Disney world.

No Excuse

Rachel is at her volunteer job today. Quinn went to work with Mr. Rellim. I have the house to myself, so I made a delicious-looking bagel sandwich. Only one sandwich to make. No one complaining they don't like lettuce. No one asking for an extra helping of potato chips (I could eat them all).

Unfortunately, it was a very disappointing sandwich experience. I thought the lettuce was extremely chewy or else the bagel was stale. It wasn't until I was about half-way through the sandwich that I noticed I had forgotten to take the between-the-cheese-slices paper off my slice of cheese.

It's lonely to laugh about a sandwich malfunction all by yourself.

Two Sets of Joneses

A friendly, inebriated man who spoke broken English (maybe it was just drunken English) interrupted my walk this afternoon. He asked me to call his wife so he could get a ride home. I called, but his wife did not come pick him up. The man thanked me kindly, shook my hand, kissed it, then stumbled on his way. I called the police station to report a gentleman in need of assistance.

At least I wasn't frightened - like the time in a taxi cab in Chicago when the driver asked if I was married. Then he said, "Oh, that eez OK. I keell heem for you. Then we get married." Perhaps that was a compliment in whatever country he came from!

Good Samaritan

When playing the part of the injured man in the story of the Good Samaritan at vacation Bible School, don't go overboard. My daughter has very good acting skills, but I had to remind her that saying, "help me, help me!" is great, but crying, pleading and moaning has to be curtailed. I hope we don't lose any kids tonight due to post-traumatic stress.

All for a Good Book

I've been waiting for a certain book from interlibrary loan since May. The delay is unusual, especially since there are SIX COPIES of the same book sitting on the shelf (according to the website). Finally, I called the interlibrary loan office to inquire about my request. After much discussion on the other end of the line, I was informed that the specific book I want is at a school library and they don't lend books when school is not in session.

Makes sense to me. Teachers don't read in the summer, do they?

Hydrangeas

Yes, these are real. The hydrangeas must like the wet weather we've had this year.

Sunday Afternoon

Mr. Rellim told me he was going to do some reading this afternoon. At least the book is with him.

BMW Dreamin'

Yeah, this is Rachel and my dad standing near an awesome vehicle in a mall parking lot. I guess this is what my dad wants for his 60th birthday in December. He did get to drive it because it was a LOANER vehicle from a dealership.

The last loaner vehicle I drove had ceiling peeling from the interior and one headlight!

Parade Time

Rachel marched in another parade, wearing her 1845 pioneer best. Quinn called for candy, but she reminded him that they would probably have only had rock candy back then. Rock candy? Hmmm . . . not so strange considering the loot we did receive from the parade: tootsie rolls and suckers (sure), but also dog treats, cat food, popsicles, bagels, frisbees, nerf balls, t-shirts, invitations to join karate class, advertisements for Avon and Tupperware ladies and coupons for various local restaurants. Rock candy would carry the element of danger due to possible bystander injury, but it may be something to consider for next year.

The Tale of Two Children

My friend Lisa just called (the one who was in my dream) and asked where I was yesterday morning. The phone call she had with Quinn went something like this:

Q: Hello?
L: Hi, Quinn. Can I talk to your mom?
Q: Well, let me see if I can find her. (walks around the house) Nope I can't find her. Let me see if there is a car here. (walks outside to the garage) Nope there's no car here. She must be gone.
L: Do you know where she is?
Q: Nope
L: Is your sister home?
Q: Well I don't think so. I didn't see her. She must be somewhere with Mom.
***********************************************************************************
You know, I'm happy that Quinn is secure and easy-going. He must get that from his father.
***********************************************************************************
Listen, I don't just leave my children alone. In fact, I had a specific conversation with my son only minutes before that went something like this:

M: Quinn, I'm leaving to take Rachel to (this certain place).
Q: Uh-huh
M: Look at me. I'm going to be gone for about 20 min. Will you be OK here by yourself?
Q: Yep.
M: Don't answer the door. Don't answer the phone unless it's me or Dad. Don't eat anything while I'm gone.
Q: Gotcha, Mom.
***********************************************************************************
Let's contrast that story with the time when Mike and I told Rachel we were going for a walk.
***********************************************************************************
M: Rachel, we are going out for a walk. You and Quinn stay in the house and don't answer the door or the phone unless it's us. OK
R: Where are you going? When will you be home? Turn on your cell phone. What should I do if the laundry beeps? How many minutes will you be gone? I'm going to call you if you aren't home in 20 minutes.
M: Calm down! I'll have my cell phone with me and we will be in the neighborhood.
R: (calling 19 and 1/2 minutes later) Where are you? I've been wondering when you'll be home. You said you'd be home in 20 minutes!

Speaking of Dreams

I woke this morning to the sound of my son giggling in his sleep. Made me smile. How sweet. At least I think it's sweet. Maybe I should ask what the dream was about - or not. I think I'll just imagine that the dream was about eating ice cream and playing with puppies.

Dear Freud

I dreamed that my friend and I were working in some covert operation. We were in a hotel near the coast (don't know which one). For whatever reason, the success of our mission rested on making sure this large line of children were properly bathed. We were sending them (stealthily) to our hotel room shower in groups of three so as to not be noticed. Before the last child was showered, a large helicopter swooped down to shoot at ships in the harbor, but it was hit by missiles before it could attack the ships.

I don't know who the bad guys were, but I was glad that the helicopter was shot down. Then I woke up to Chris Tomlin singing "Amazing Grace/My Chains are Gone."

Any dream interpreters out there?

Cranberry Juice

It is possible that a person might drink cranberry juice just because.

My son (apparently) is unaware of this, having only been given cranberry juice when he had a urinary tract infection (accompanied by a stinging/tingling sensation in his private area).

So, should I be surprised that he just loudly asked, "Why are you drinking cranberry juice, Mom? Is your (insert your favorite word for privates) tingling?"

What's your S.T.O.R.Y.?

This is an excellent book for anyone searching for her niche. Practical strategies to help unveil individual strengths and talents are backed up with encouragement that each of us is important and unique.

S = Strengths
T = Topic
O = Optimal conditions
R = Relationships
Y = Yes!

Where is your sweet spot? It's where your talents collide with God's will.

FYI

1. Never rub your eyes while chopping fresh jalapenos.
2. I think I may be allergic to avocados.
3. We accidentally destroyed our second paper shredder this year.

A Man in Michigan

A man in Michigan is suing a publisher of the Bible. Apparently, some passages caused him to feel bad about himself. I wonder why he isn't suing the author?

Found Another One

Rachel actually let Quinn sink her into the sand so they could be the same height. Pretty cute.

Went to a wedding

. . . and found the all-time winner for best guest party favor. Hilarious. Can anyone contribute to this post?

Thank you!

Uncle Terry and Aunt Gail are our vacation super heroes.

BTW, that is not a two-headed dog, but the picture is very funny. Their names are Molly and Roscoe. Quinn kept calling them Moley and Rascal.

Yes, Iowa.

It sounds kind of boring, but not really. Mike's Uncle and Aunt built a cottage on a lake and it was like our own private resort. Check out these pictures. The kids got to go tubing. Mike and I attempted to use a jet ski. One of us does not have a very good sense of balance, so that plan had to be scrapped (after I was DUMPED and nearly drowned!). We each had our own bedroom, so it took a lot longer for us to get on Rachel's nerves (ahhh, preteens).

Guess where we were?

No.

Quinn just asked, "Hey, Mom? Can you go outside and get me that lighter I found? I want to show Dad how I can light things up."

Fireworks

They were interesting. Started out with an old, old bomber flying loop-de-loops. The first five loops were pretty cool. The next fifteen loops got a little bit old. The pyrotechnics were nice. We probably should have gotten a little bit closer. Instead of driving to the parking lot and sitting in the lawn area with everyone else, we decided to back into a country ditch a couple miles away (so we could avoid traffic!). Well, we got stuck in the tall wet grass and Mr. Rellim was not there to push us out. Fortunately, some strong, nice drunk people were up to the task. Happy 232nd!

Happy Birthday, America!

"Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom, must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it."

— Thomas Paine, author

Sunfall

I kinda like the word. According to Quinn, that is when fireworks will start tomorrow.

What Did You Say?!

Quinn and I were walking this morning and I had just reprimanded him for trying to burp or pass gas with every step, when he said to me, "Mom, you know, we should really think about the national debt."

"What about it?" I asked, certain that he had inadvertently used a phrase that he had no idea about.

Instead, I was floored with this response, "You know, the national debt is over 5 trillion dollars now and with every war, the debt continues to skyrocket. The only way we can pay off the debt is to raise taxes and I'm not really into paying for other people's poor spending choices."

"Uh . . yeah . . . I agree with you," I said.

Where did he get this information? SCHOOL HOUSE ROCK music cartoons!!!!!!!

WRONG Answer

Rachel asked me why a certain group of boys are "nice and normal" when they talk to her but "act all weird" when more girls are around. I told her that the boys probably feel comfortable around her because she is nice to them while the girls she mentioned are often giggly and flighty.

"What do you think?" I asked Mr. Rellim.

Mr. Rellim replied, "Well, Rachel, the truth is that boys have only one thing on their mind and it makes it hard to concentrate."

"What thing?" asked Rachel.

I shot the man the look of certain death if he were to continue.

"What thing?" asked Quinn.

"Oooooh!" said Rachel, then fell into a silence that lasted until she and her brother started laughing hysterically.

I hope they were thinking about Scooby Doo or American Idol.

Friends for Lunch

Haven't seen Mr. Rellim for about 30 minutes. I'm getting lunch ready for some friends, so he decided to go detail the van. OK, so I asked him to do it (for my birthday 3 weeks ago!). Better late than never?

When Does Life Begin?

Not such a tough question, is it?

All Smiles

Quinn with his spoils after four days of basketball camp. Seems he made two of ten free throws in the contest today to claim the free throw champion medal for all boys his age.

Illiterate

Friends of ours recently welcomed a baby daughter into their family. (Keep in mind these friends raise pigs.) Their four year old son asked if he and his sister were illiterate.

It took them a while to figure out that he was really asking if he and his sister were littermates.

Corpse Flower

We just missed its blooming - and it only happens once every six years. Oh well, that means we also missed its stench. They don't call it a corpse flower for nothing. Yes, it really is about six feet tall. Native to Indonesia.

Fancy Schmancy Wedding

Yet another Rellim wedding provides food and fun. This one was a bit on the "uptown" formal side. At least I thought so, until the bridal party joined in the paper bag dance. During this dance, everyone placed a Jewel/Osco paper shopping bag over his head to have a dance-off. The set-up was that only one person was unknowingly left to dance while the others watched. Very entertaining. Congrats to Andy and Kristi!

Elizabeth Jane circa 1845

Rachel spent the entire day as a volunteer pioneer. Most of the morning she hoisted a scythe and harvested a wheat field. For noon victuals, she made biscuits at the fireplace and picked lettuce from the garden. Now at home, she is enjoying a long shower. (A person can only rough-it for so long!)

Guess Where We Were?

Rachel and my mom posed near the Arch in St. Louis. We did not take the tram to the top. Did it once in 1977. Scared me enough to last over 30 years. The elevator at the Hilton was exciting enough for me.

Envelopes

Do students no longer receive instruction on how to address envelopes? My twelve-year-old daughter practically needed hand over hand assist to complete this task today. I'm serious! She didn't even know where on the envelope to write the address (offset center). She put the zip code on the line under the name - in front of the street address. She didn't know the abbreviation for Illinois.

Her explanation: "Who writes letters anymore? I only send emails."

Rachel's Prayer

(As best I can recall)

"Dear God, please help Mom realize that when she dies and goes to heaven - and I think it is a pretty good possibility that she will get to go there - that there won't be houses that need to be cleaned or picked up. So help her to GET A GRIP and take it easy on us because a messy house is not the most important thing to worry about."

New Home?

One of my sisters called to tell me about an awesome home with over 17,000 square feet of living space for sale near me for only 68 grand. Not sure how much it would cost to take out the asbestos. We risked trespassing charges to photograph the brick giant. I think the chain link fence, blacktop and metal swings come with it.

Happy Belated Father's Day

"Fathers have an incalculable impact on their daughters. Most psychologists believe, and I am one of them, that all future romantic relationships to occur in a girl’s life will be influenced positively or negatively by the way she perceives and interacts with her dad."

— Dr. James Dobson, adapted from his
Complete Marriage and Family Home Reference Guide

We're Back

During a four-day experience with family, one often receives interesting counsel. We have settled on our favorite from this past weekend.

"Don't walk with your hands in your pockets. If you fall down, you'll break both of your elbows!!"

How to Annoy your Brother

. . . in five words or less - "Remember when your gerbil died?"

Next, say it over and over again while he's trying to eat supper.

Upon return to the table after being sent to your room for starting a screaming argument, apologize by saying, "I'm sorry for talking about when your gerbil died."

When your mother reprimands you, stare at her quizzically and say, "WHAT?!"

Dear IRS

My son doesn't know how he got this hole in his shirt and I don't know why you keep sending us letters. I mean, YES - it does seem sorta unusual that someone would sell feed as a side job and actually incur more expenses than income, but isn't that what happens in the ag industry?

Once when Mr. Rellim was out of earshot, his family banker asked me, "Do you know what a farmer would do with $1 million dollars? Keep farming until he needed more money!"

Anyway, keep your pants on, IRS! The reams of supporting documentation are headed your way.

What Is It?

These big balls are all over a huge, old tree alongside our house. Nobody has been able to identify the balls or the tree. We have no idea. I do know what they sound like when they hit the roof and side of the house going 80 miles per hour, propelled by straight line winds. SCARY.

More Talk

I was showing my daughter certain "accessories" necessary to deal with a monthly cycle, and I questioned how well she was taking this serious discussion. You see, most interactions in our home are informal and often sarcastic. (I'm sure you can barely believe that.)

I suppose I was relieved (sorta - in a strange way) to notice she was attempting to stick something in her right nostril. Anything to help lighten the mood of the discussion.

Smart as a Fifth Grader?

I was helping Quinn with a crossword puzzle and asked him the continent where the Sahara Desert could be found. He said, "I don't know. Probably somewhere with a really warm climate."

Gifted

Rachel was stealth-snacking on one of those drumstick ice cream treats. I gave her the "caught ya!" look and pointed to the sofa cushion next to her, indicating a piece of chocolate coating that had fallen. She picked it up and popped it into her mouth.

I then noticed a chunk on the floor, so pointed toward it. Again, Rachel picked it up and put it in her mouth. But this time, she started spitting and hollering. Uh . . . it wasn't chocolate. I think it was dirt.

Go-Togethers

Linus has his blanket. Sponge Bob has his Patrick. Mr. Rellim has his pillow. I'm assuming he has had this pillow since BC (before college). It looks as if it has survived a few roadtrips and maybe even a thunderstorm or two. In 1994 it kept him company the week he slept at his hog-buying station in Iowa.

I've tried to "air it," hide it and cover it. I have even tried to lose it. The pillow returns.

Today I gave him the option of shopping for a new pillow for his Father's Day gift. He stared at me but did not answer. I suggested that we first put the pillow out to sea in a gasoline-soaked boat, then shoot flaming arrows at it. He asked, "Who do we know with a bow and arrow?"

Aha! I think we are heading toward a compromise.

It Happened

We figured it was only a matter of time. She's called the cops on everyone else in the neighborhood. Tonight was our turn. Apparently she could tell (based on her immense experience with little dogs) that the four pigs on the trailer parked in front of our home for the last ten hours were being abused.

The two police officers who came to "investigate the complaint" were pleasantly surprised to find four fine, well-fed and watered swine. They were obliged to give us options if we would like to move the truck and trailer, but they found no basis for the complaint and apologized for our inconvenience.

Hmmm . . . now to get Quinn to sleep. He was certain that his daddy was, "going to get cuffed!"

The End of Reason

Pleasure without boundaries produces life without purpose - Ravi Zacharias

This book is best read AFTER reading Sam Harris' "Letter to a Christian Nation" - or not. Ravi replies to the illogical arguments, errors and misrepresentation of facts in Harris' book. I enjoy a good debate, but this is definitely one-sided. God wins.

I'm a Traditionalist

And I support abstinence education. What else is 100% effective at preventing pregnancy and STDs? Do you trust these statistics?

Maria Sue Chapman

If you follow contemporary Christian music, you probably already know that Steven Curtis Chapman's youngest daughter died a week ago. Have you read his (manager's) blog that describes her memorial service? Absolutely beautiful.

Perhaps, like me, you will be moved to contribute to Maria's Miracle Fund.

Teeth

Quinn lost a tooth last night. He lost another one the night before. The tooth fairy is going to go broke.

(Reminds me of another time we threw money away. . . . Rachel's dentist advised us that she needed a partial root canal. We paid $700 for it. The tooth fell out two weeks later . . .)

Quinn's trying to save up for a Nintendo DS game, so I've been watching him wiggle some other teeth today. I told him he could weed the garden and I'd pay him five bucks. No deal.

Total Money Makeover

Dave Ramsey writes in his book a profound thought:

"It is the duty of the good people to get wealth to keep it from the bad people, because the good people will do good with it. If we all abandon money because some misguided souls view it as evil, then the only ones with money will be the p*@nographer, the d r u gdealer, or the pimp. Simple enough?"

Good book. Great, practical plan for financial security. Reminiscent of Larry Burkett.