Pick Up Line

Rachel and I both commented to Quinn that he is looking kinda handsome and that he better watch out for silly girls at the State Fair this weekend.  I asked him what he might say to a girl (or group of girls, more likely - because don't they all walk around in herds?) who might walk up to him. 

Without hesitation, Quinn said, "Did you know caterpie can become metapod?"

Disposable Thumbs

Apparently, my son has them.  It's what separates him from the animals, he tells me.

Higher Than the Temperature

Rachel can now independently bend her knee to a 138 degree angle!

Teenage Girls

Teenage girls make about as much sense.

Rachel complained of feeling tired and dizzy during physical therapy this morning.  As soon as we got home I began to make her life miserable (per her report), so she walked about a mile to a friend's house.  I'm sure that will help her rest her knee.

Communication Specialist

During our walk around the neighborhood this evening, I reminded Quinn that Mr. C. would like him to water his flowers while he is out of town.  A few minutes later I asked Quinn to take the trash down to the end of the driveway when we got home.  Quinn  nodded, then pealed off to take the shortcut home - through Mr. C's backyard.  A few seconds later, I heard Quinn stomping around on Mr. C's darkened deck looking for his trash can.

Extender

Mr. Rellim's business ships viable genetic material all over the country.  To ensure the viability of the substance, a liquid is added to extend its shelf life.  This liquid is (cleverly) called "Extender" and is stored in a plastic milk jug in the refrigerator.  The other milk jug in the refrigerator holds fresh water that is also used to fill the ice cube trays.

I don't think I should finish this story.  Feeling gaggy.

Transgenerational Communication

Driving the 1995 S-10 (We haven't decided whether to call her "Essie" or "Little Red.") with only a cassette tape player, my daughter has learned how to open a cassette case.  Her first attempt was comical with the shaking and sliding and pounding of the little plastic case.  The windows also take some manual labor to roll up and down.  Rachel told me yesterday, "Now I understand why people make a fist and move it in a circle when they want me to roll down the window."

Little Red S-10

I grew up in a small town.  A town so small that my mother's boss once walked into my bank (where he was not a customer) and cashed a check for ME.  The teller gave him the cash because he knew that I was away at college and that my mom worked for him, and that I would eventually get the money.

A town so small that I could call a car dealership and speak to someone I have not seen for over 20 years and buy a used truck from him - over the phone.  Of course, my parents (who still live in that town) were able to take it for a test drive.  And the salesman told me the name of the previous owners - a couple who just celebrated their 90th birthdays!  I knew them, of course.  My dad actually visited them after the purchase to retrieve the extra set of keys for me.  They handed them over without hesitation.

I'm happy to have a little truck for yard work and rummage sale-ing.  And my kids are crossing their fingers that I may let them drive it to school this year.  And Rachel said, "A 1995?! That's older than me!" 

"So, treat it with respect," I replied.

More Collective Salvation

Since the 1980s, kids have been praised for every minute task accomplished - or nearly accomplished - or tried pretty hard to get started with.  At the end of a game, every participant receives some sort of reward nowadays.  The American culture has succeeded with convincing even the dunces making mud puddles that they are building sand castles (per C.S. Lewis in Screwtape Proposes a Toast).  And now, to round things out, we are telling the successful, the ingenious, the determined, that their accomplishments were not so very special.

Keep dreaming big, kids.  Keep thinking big ideas.  Keep taking chances to make the world a better place.  And make sure your parents get to the voting booth in November.

Angles

Rachel has begun physical therapy for her left knee.  Her treatment is initially focusing on strengthening the quads and gaining range of motion of the knee.  After four sessions, she can do a leg lift with minimal assist and has bent her knee up to 75 degrees.  The surgeon's goal for her was 90 degrees by August.  I think she's going to surpass that easily!

Treatment Option

I've been seeing my chiropractor a couple times a week for about a month for the same complaint.  Yesterday he asked, "Would you say you feel 2% better every day?"  I nodded.  "Good," he said, "then my advice is to come see me again in about 50 days."

Snap!

That might be what I'd say if a tree crashed through my home the same night I moved in.  This family is actually a friend of my sister, Jodie.  Good luck to them!

New Word

Annoyment:  The act of annoying someone just for the enjoyment of it.  For example, "Mom, your friend just called here, but I don't know why.  Just for annoyment, I guess."

Thank Quinn for this new word.

Updates: Heatwave Edition

1.  Rachel had surgery July 2nd to repair the ACL in her left knee.  The surgeon took out the stitches yesterday and physical therapy started today.  She is still in a brace  locked in place and using crutches as needed for balance.  The goal is to have her knee bend at a 90 degree angle by August, then assess the need for continued crutches.  As these things go, we are being told that she is healing well.  She's looks better than Mr. Rellim did when he broke his leg at age twelve.

2.  Quinn is excited to enter his first Yu-Gi-Oh tournament this Saturday.  I drove him to the store last week to check it out and make sure it wasn't just a front for a drug operation.  I was amazed to see so many 25 year old men playing a monster card game.  It was unclear whether, though highly likely, they still lived in their mothers' basements.


3.  Twenty years ago today, I married my high school sweetheart.  Here we are at my junior prom in 1987.  Who knew we'd still be having so much fun?

Among Other Things

Rachel has a complete tear of the ACL in her left leg.  We didn't suspect this.  Certainly an atypical presentation of symptoms.  Anyhoo - surgery on Monday, rehab for about six months.  She is very sad about missing her junior year season of basketball.  Orthopedic surgeon said that soccer in March is a very reasonable goal.

Met the Orthopod

He reviewed Rachel's knee x-rays, evaluated her himself and decided that the lateral collateral ligament is what was connected to the tibia.  He suspects possible ACL involvement, but won't know until after an MRI - which is scheduled for this Thursday.  I asked him to state in detail what Rachel may and may not do in basketball practice for the rest of the summer.  His face got pretty red.  I'm not sure if he was annoyed with me, embarrassed for me, or if he was trying not to laugh.  "Well," he began, "she can't run.  She can't walk.  She pretty much can't do anything."  That pretty much clears it up then.  Estimated rehab time depends on what MRI reveals.  Best case scenario is three months until she is able to participate in competitive sports.

Upside?  Rachel is looking forward to "bedazzling" her bulky knee brace.

I'm Up!

I was jolted from sleep less than one hour ago by a teen pounding on my bedroom door and shouting, "Where's the pen?!  I'm going to die!!"

"Epi-pen!" shouted Mr. Rellim, "Shoot him with the Epi-pen!"

I dashed to the stash of Epi-pens and quickly realized it was Rachel who woke me, not Quinn.  She continued shouting, "I'm going to die!  These mosquito bites are so itchy! Where's the pen?"  My adrenaline surge switched to annoyance.  My search then changed from Epi-pen to Benadryl anti-itch stick (which was not in the medicine bag where I left it yesterday).

"Oh!" said Rachel, "I guess it's over here at the computer where I used it last night."  She applied the topical Benadryl then went back to bed.

But I'm up.

Rachel's Knee

Possible avulsion fracture of the tibial attachment of the PCL - or something like that.

Looks more like that photo you see in psych class that could be a picture of an old hag or a beautiful woman, depending on your perspective.  We see an orthopaedic surgeon on Tuesday for treatment options.  For now, it's ice, elevation, ibuprofen and crutches.  Too bad it happened during the first game of the summer season.  But perhaps Rachel is meeting surgeons in order to investigate future professional opportunities.

Would They Do That If They Had Won?

"We aren't going to go away. We're not going to pull a blanket over our head and pee in our pajamas."

Marty Beil, executive director of the Wisconsin State Employees Union, talking to the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel about the loss of the power to strike and force state workers to pay dues.

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2012/06/07/dems-cant-make-it-without-government-worker-unions/#ixzz1x8jwrYdu

Guess What?

Quinn and I just repaired the leaky faucet in the bathroom!  Thank you, online video.  Of course, we had to ask a strong football player friend to turn the water off (the handles had rusted shut), then drive to three different places around town to look for a replacement washer, then call a handy neighbor to check the work, but we did it!  Next time, it shouldn't take three hours.

Startled

I was working in the yard when I heard the sound of a man make a cough-sneeze-clear-throat-scream-because-I-was-just-stabbed-between-the-shoulder-blades-by-my-crazy-wife noise.  I've never heard a sound like that, but I found myself making quick steps toward my house.  Since I was in a portion of our yard that was sort of "echo-y," I was unable to determine the direction from which it came.  All I knew is that with Mrs. Neighbor on the left and Mrs. Other Neighbor on the right, I needed to find shelter.

Alas, my worries were unjustified.  For just as I made it to the driveway, the sound was heard again.  And this time, I watched in amazement as it came from Mr. Other Neighbor's body - his fully awake, alert, and presumably whole and uninjured body.  Pollen must really be getting him down.

This is What Democracy Looks Like

Both Walker and Kleefisch kept their jobs after the recall vote in Wisconsin.  Click here to watch a short speech from the Lieutenant Governor.  I'm not opposed to big labor.  I am a member of the teacher unions.  However, I am opposed to union leadership that places its own needs before the state's and country's need to maintain financial solvency.  I am also opposed to the mandatory membership that puts me out about $750 a year.

Sunrise Farewell

We welcomed the sunrise before packing the car on our last day of vacation.  It was a good one.

Looking at this picture reminds me of something Mr. Rellim once told me.  I'm certain he meant it as as a compliment.  "You know another reason I love you?  You're not ugly when you wake up in the morning."  He has such a way with words.  Could write a book on romantic banter even.

Day Eight - Captain Wiley

Captain Wiley with Kitty Hawk Kites just called.  The winds have picked up to unsafe levels and he was letting us know that our reservation for triple para sailing has been cancelled. This is despite the fact that Logan's dad was able to find the website, download the waiver, fill it out correctly and completely, then find a fax machine in town and then fax the waiver to KHK.  AAAAAHHHHHGGG!

So I called Corolla Jeeps for a two hour self-guided tour of the beaches with the wild horses.  They were booked.  Double AAAAAHHHHHGGG!  Guess we will be stuck entertaining ourselves this afternoon. 

Sunset Day Seven

New glasses.  New dresses.  Sweet pictures.

Thanks, Outer Banks Eye Care

Mike's first attempt at using the boogie board ended with his glasses being sucked out to the bottomless sea.  An expensive lesson for sure.  Stupid Neptune.  I'm going shell searching and keeping an eye out for his old pair.

If not for the close location of the eye place, I would have been designated driver again on the way back home.

Now I'm going to the beach for a while.

Day Seven Side Trips

Mike had to stop at the pirate shop in Chicamacomico.  He and I both had our picture taken together at Bodie Island Lighthouse, but it was under construction so the teens were spared twenty minutes of torture of having to climb the stairs of yet another historic site.  Time to hit the beach.

Day Seven - Morning Activity

We took a drive down the coast to Cape Hatteras.  And we did climb the highest lighthouse in North America.  Here are the pictures to prove it.

Storm Footage

A short video of the Tropical Storm Beryl from our bedroom window, ending with my dire warning to Rachel about not getting nail polish on the carpet.

Day Six - Rainy Day Edition

Mike and I took a short trip to Manteo Island to see Roanoke's Lost Colony and the Elizabethan Gardens. In the prelude to the storm, there were waaaay too many mosquitos. The kids, having decided to stay home and sleep in, missed the short window of sunshine and are now driving me crazy. Maybe it started with the ceiling leaking in the kitchen as the wind and rain picked up. Or the wrestling in the living area. Or Mike's great idea to start a beach fire (illegal here) in the Coleman charcoal grill. Or the giant sand message reading, "YOLO!" (You Only Live Once) when I glanced out to see my entire family "wading" in the wind-whipped surf. Or the profanity-laced rap music blaring when I got out of the shower moments ago. Yes, it's true that I snapped the pirated CD into bits with my bare hands while wearing only my bath towel. I believe I may have frightened them a bit because there is only quiet murmuring from the bedrooms now. The plan is to climb the tallest brick lighthouse in the country tomorrow. And then climb back down.

Hold the Swimming

Beryl will be keeping us indoors this afternoon. Rules for swimming in the ocean have been reviewed with the kiddos.

Day Five - Sunset

Day Five - Afternoon Edition

We found a big storage area under the house that has beach chairs, umbrellas, boogie boards and more. Must be leftover items from previous renters. No mermaids, but lots of shells. Beryl is schedule to hit tomorrow. the tide keeps pulling away from shore. Some of our party visited this place and bought T-shirts. Here is the link for the brave souls who wish to know.

Day Five - Morning Edition

Jockey Ridge State Park with the girls. Minus Quinn. He really only wanted to watch TV for the entire vacation anyway. Logan was a bit unhappy about the rain shower - and the climbing - and all the sand, but the photo shoot turned out pretty well. We assured her this was not an historical stop, but a natural land feature made by God. The largest sand dunes on the east coast. She told me that God made amusement parks too. Looks like she and Rachel were practicing for America's Top Model or something.

Day Four

Tricked the boy into joining us for a brief "outing." Girls slept in. Orville and Wilbur Wright Memorial was quite a climb but my parents got us in free with their National Park Pass. Score. Jockey Ridge State Park was the next stop to climb the largest sand dunes on the east coast. We plan on tricking the girls on climbing them tomorrow. I've already prepped Logan by telling her it will be a great background for a senior picture. Who in Illinois will have senior pictures taken from the top of a sand dune?

Currituck Beach Lighthouse

Only 214 steps to the top. Once again, the teens were excited to be there taking in a little history.

Yes, I'm actually paying an entrance fee so you can climb the stairs.

Beryl

If this gets close to us, I'm blaming Quinn, who wished for a storm by writing "HURICANE" in the sand last night. Fortunately, he spelled it wrong, so it looks like it will only be a tropical storm.

Day Three - Early

Sunrise and shell searching, then the girls went back to bed. Quinn declined the dawn-breaking activities.

Day Two

Only about five hours of driving. Antilock breaks work. Mandatory stop at Colonial Williamsburg to see the drummers on parade. Teenagers grumbled, so I put them in the stocks. Outerbanks in time to catch some Atlantic Ocean waves before sunset.

Day One

No pictures. 656 miles. Three teenagers. More swearing from the back seat than I care to mention. Destination tomorrow: Outerbanks, North Carolina.

Have You Ever?

Have you ever looked for your sunglasses while they were on your head? Or searched for your cell phone while talking on it? Once, my friend searched frantically for her toddler before remembering that she had left him at home with his dad. But that was more sleep deprivation than stupidity. I've been there.

I had a meeting with someone yesterday where I thought I was asking fairly simple questions. Even many yes/no questions. Unfortunately, the answers made almost as much sense as this one. Ready for summer vacation!

Mom, I'm Pregnant

That's how a friend of mine started the conversation with her mother one evening. Actually, she wasn't pregnant, but had been in a minor fender bender. I told her she was rotten for doing that to her mom. She told me that it helped put the car incident into perspective. Tonight, Rachel whispered, "Mom's gonna kill me!" As she tells the story, "I looked right, I looked left, then it just came out of nowhere and I ran over it!" After several minutes of questioning, we learned that she ran over a pedestrian crosswalk sign that is BOLTED to the street near the university.