Track Star

As he streaked out of the van after riding for nearly three hours, Quinn hollered, "Look out! I'm gonna hurdle!!"

I'm thinking, is he sick or is he going to jump over something?

Rescue

I just extricated my son's tongue from his toy rifle. Not sure why he stuck it inside the barrel. Less sure why he set it and pulled the trigger. Definite shell-shock here.

I made him wash his mouth with hydrogen peroxide and said, "I hope you've learned a valuable lesson about going around sticking your tongue in guns!"

Sounds like the title of a how-to book for parents.

I'd Forgotten

We had a guest with us in the van today. As I was driving down the highway, she said, "Miss Marcie? Can you come here for a second?"

Ha! I'd forgotten how funny it is to have a five-year-old.

Be the Parent

We had guest speakers at church today - John and Kendra Smiley - authors and international speakers. Their recent book is titled, "Be the Parent: Seven Choices you can make to Raise Great Kids."

Mike and I sat near the front of the group, listening intently and looking forward to employing some of their strategies. Little did we know how quickly we would have to, well . . . be the parent.

On the way out of church, Quinn asked a question quietly a couple times, but I could not hear him. Finally, he inquired loudly, "Why does it smell like farts in here?" Heads turned, I raised my eyebrows and smiled down at him with a flushing face.

I'll wonder if the Smileys have a chapter on that one?

Metropolis

And what vacation could be complete without a quick jaunt through Metropolis (Illinois) where one can take a picture with Superman?

Gulf Shores

The water here was a little choppy, but that made it interesting.

And look! The kids are acting like friendlies.

SHARK ATTACK!

(not really) BUT . . . we had warned the kids about what could be found in the ocean and had strict rules about not going in the ocean alone and not going in past their knees unless they had their inner tube things, so they had a healthy fear.

I'm just glad neither had kept up with the Steve Irvin tragedy, because Quinn got stung or bit or something in the area of his heart at about 7:30 last night. He jumped out of the water and came running up, certain that he had been attacked by something and worried that Mike was going to have to urinate on him.

Instead, we got some benadryl and lidacaine and put him to bed. Looks OK now.

Son on the Beach

So is the daughter.

Sandy white beaches and sparkling blue waters near Destin, Florida were my favorite. The kids are more excited about the stronger waves here in Gulf Shores, Alabama. We asked the lifeguard at the beach why a yellow flag was flying. He told us because there are some moderate sized waves and you shouldn't try to breath underwater.

Quinn's mission is to catch a sea gull, put him in the hog trailer and keep him as a pet.

Mike is enjoying his twelfth Father's Day at the hotel pool with his immediate descendents. I'm enjoying the airconditioned lobby of this nice hotel.

To Battleship Alabama tomorrow . . . Happy Father's Day, Dad!

We've only just begun

Stayed in Chattanooga last night and the kids and I ate at an IHOP while mike made the first pig swap. Don't tell Mike we ate without him - he loves IHOP. Made three pig deliveries today, added coolant, replaced wiper blades and am currently using the computer at a boar stud in southern Georgia (Thank you kindly, Mr. C.). I got a great picture of a boar tour, our first official stop on our vacation. Dirt (more like sand) really is red. Temperature is hot. People are friendly. Trailer is officially empty. Tonight . . . Florida.

Funny things so far: After driving for about 6 hours, Rachel suddenly exclaimed, "We have to stop! My eyes hurt and I can't feel my nose!" I think she's better now. Quinn continues to listen on headphones to the overhead DVD player while working his Gameboy magic. A large clothes basket of snacks, books and games separate the two in the backseat.

Stay tuned.

Gettin' Ready

. . . for our "Redneck Roadtrip." We will post as possible during our tour of Tennessee, Georgia, Florida, Alabama and Mississippi. Rachel is practicing her best Southern accent. Quinn is working on gentility (though I'll probably use a different word for him, just in case he has a vocabulary override and uses a word that sounds more like his privates).

It's Good to have a Job

Quinn's Rant: WHAT?! What do you mean Dad's not home?! He went to work?! In the summer?! I told him and told him that job's no good! Whoever heard of a job that makes you go to work every day?!

My Advice: If going to work every day tends to cramp your style, you might want to consider a job in academia. For further information, please refer to the post titled, "Eighty-Five Days."

Vocabulary Enhancement

Quinn to Rachel: "Get out of my facility! You know that it was Karen who expired me to play this game, not you!"

I think he meant for Rachel to get away from him (and the general vicinity). He was clearly annoyed that she was giving him Gameboy hints when it was his friend, Karen who had introduced him to (and really, inspired his interest in) the game.

Proof

Ah, photographic proof of the existence of Pet Deer. Yeah, it looks a bit skinny and wild-eyed to me. I hope it doesn't show up and try to eat my birthday cake from my plate.

Hey, It's My Birthday!

Mr. Rellim is at the World Pork Expo (where else?!), Rachel is still catching some zzz's and Quinn is trying to conquer some electronic challenge on his gameboy. I'm working quickly on this post so my Dad won't know I'm using his computer. I may have to wipe the keyboard for fingerprints.

This picture was taken after Rachel's spring band concert a couple weeks ago. She plays trumpet well.

New Diagnosis

"Oh, she must be blind sighted," said Quinn as he observed a woman walking down our street. I turned to see the woman and noticed that she was wearing sunglasses and using two thin white canes in a Nordic-track-like fashion. I had to explain that she was not visually impaired, but merely using the canes to increase her upper-body workout. Next, we talked about blindness, visual impairment and the phrase "blind-sided."

Who says kids don't learn things during summer vacation?

Pet Deer

I could only wonder if my father had finally "lost it" as he described in detail how he had made friends with a deer in his backyard last week. As the story grew and he talked about petting the deer and taking two of my nephews to visit the deer, I could only ask, "Dad, could anyone else see the deer?"

I don't think he found that question very funny. I suggested they name the deer Jane Doe. Quinn asked why he didn't shoot it since he was so close. Mike commented, "Lyme Disease is forever."

Good news - the deer is real and hung around the yard for a few days. Bad news - it started eating Mom's flowers and had to be chased on down the road.

Anatomy

Mike and Quinn seemed to be having a good time playing catch with the Nerf football before school on Friday. I looked out the window just in time to see Quinn miss a catch and take one in the face. That wasn't funny, but his response made me laugh. Quinn ran into the house, loudly announcing that he would "never play football again because Dad hit me with the ball in my good nostril!!"