Friday, May 31, 2013

Genetic Counseling

Mr. Rellim gives advice to his customers regarding pigs, but Yoda has some advice for many others out there.

Monday, May 27, 2013

Unique Sofas

We're in the market for a new sofa.  Actually, we've been in the market for about 15 years.  We've been making do with the sofa that came with the house.  Really.  So, I've been online today looking for a unique sofa.  What do you think?

 This one sorta reminds me of an adult playpen.  Funny.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Shower Shuffle

It's not unusual to hear a bottle of shampoo hit the floor during a shower.  We don't have adequate shelf space for the 27 bottles of hair product, shaving cream, body wash and facial cleansers that Rachel likes to keep close to her, so many are precariously balanced around the sides of the tub and top of the shower-surround. 

But I wasn't prepared for the cacophony of shower bottle kersplats I heard last night.  I actually wondered if Mr. Rellim was having a seizure in the shower.  Thankfully, that was not the case.  What happened was one bottle fell on the temperature controller and turned the hot water to "full steam."  The subsequent falling bottles were the result of Mike's frantic attempts to avoid the hot water while fumbling to turn off the faucet.

I couldn't help but laugh.  And laugh and laugh and laugh.  Mostly because it didn't happen to me and nobody was permanently injured.

Elephant Balls

Quinn waited in his sister's car after school until all the buses had left.  That's when he found out that she was staying late for a capella try-outs.  So, he decided to walk home.  Fortunately, he was picked up by a friendly neighbor, who (by Quinn's report) was very excited about the giant elephant balls for sale at Wal-Mart.

"Mom," Quinn reported, "Mr. Coleman wanted me to make sure to let you know that the giant elephant balls will probably be sold out soon, so you'd better go get some."

"Are you sure he wasn't talking about elephant bulbs?" I asked.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Quinnpoleon Dynamite

He told me the other day:
"Mom, you know when I become a millionaire I'm going to buy you and Dad a lawnmower.  It will probably be the top-of-the-line model.  So, yeah, you can pretty much bank on that.  I don't know what Rachel will get.  But she probably won't become a millionaire, so I'll have to get her something.  But I doubt if it will be a lawnmower."

Friday, May 10, 2013


My blood pressure runs a bit low.  Could that be why I don't like mornings?

Sunday, May 05, 2013


Sometimes, If a person would only keep his mouth shut, the embarrassment of his mistake will fade quickly.  Of course, by loudly shouting, "Oh my gosh!  I can't believe I did it again!" did draw the attention of many others in the movie parking lot.

So, we all got a good laugh at Quinn's distractability.  In his haste to get into the theater (and race his friend to the front door), he left the keys in the ignition.  With the car running.

That's why kids in Illinois are now required to log at least 50 hours of driving experience with a parent.  (I may need to get counseling.)

P.S.   Iron Man Three was spectacular!

Wednesday, May 01, 2013

Anything Goes

I met Mr. Rellim 27 years ago during the production of our high school musical by Cole Porter - Anything Goes.  I was Hope Harcourt and he was the Captain.  He played the role straight and strong and formally.

Tonight, we all enjoyed our local high school's rendition of the same musical.  I was particularly entertained by the performance of the Captain, who I thought had a spot-on Russian accent.  I couldn't believe how consistent it was.  During intermission, I asked a friend whose bright idea it was to give the Captain an accent.

My friend burst into laughter, then told me the Captain's role was being portrayed by the foreign exchange student from Bulgaria!


I've written before about adoption.  At this time, we have the love in our hearts for another child, but no room in our house.  So we give monthly to an organization that directly helps orphans and families wanting to adopt.  Specifically, Show Hope, which recently opened an orphanage in China for babies with special medical needs.

You should now understand Quinn's comment:

ME:  Quinn, you need to be nice to your sister.  She's sad and a little broken.  You might have to help her with her bags and getting in and out of the car and such.

QUINN:  I'm not stupid!  She's not only my driver, she is also my only sister!  She could never be replaced by an Asian!


Bad news.  Rachel tore the ACL in her left knee.  Again.  "Freak accident," said the orthopedic surgeon.  As "freak" as suffering a mallet fracture of her right thumb a couple years ago?  As "freak" as getting kicked in the head last month during a soccer game?  As "freak" as being sprayed with hydrochloric acid in chemistry lab by a student across the room?

OK, the last one had nothing to do with playing sports, but the main theme I'm picking up from these events, is that perhaps my daughter should be bubble wrapped.  The family photo will still be nice because Quinn can be in his bubble right next to her.  No sneezing.  No accidents.

We've been watching the sports door slowly close.  Now we are trying to find the point of light that is the window being opened.