Thursday, April 30, 2009

Can't Help It

Can't help but chuckle about the Scare Force One photo op debacle.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I Need a Cover Story

I suppose I did overhear a phone conversation about some pigs. I don't remember, exactly. I was re-reading Eclipse. What I didn't expect was to find a very long trailer full of pigs in front of my house this evening. The truck plates say Ohio. I wonder whose they are? Mr. Rellim is gone for a couple days. I should have a story ready for Mrs. Neighbor. It should probably have something to do with the swine flu.

Monday, April 27, 2009


The name means, "Bond - One Bond." And that was one of the funny lines in the children's musical production. Quinn read from Psalms, reminding us, "How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity." Of course, another funny line had to do with why anyone in their right mind would want to unite with messed up people like us!

In summary, the music was good, the action was entertaining, and the story about how we should all work together as a unit as the body of Christ was well-done. Kudos to all the kids!

Just Read


Friday, April 24, 2009

New Cut

First warm day in a looooong time. Quinn decided to get his hair cut. I think I will miss the curls.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

And the Moral of the Story

I'm trying to come up with a satisfying moral to the Twilight series. Here's my thought today:

Genetic predisposition does not trump choice.

Any other theories?

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


Now I can sleep. This series turns out to be a happily-ever-after story with a hefty bite of pro-life, pro-family wisdom.

Monday, April 20, 2009

New Name

Yesterday, Rachel stayed home from church due to bad sunburn, little sleep and a load of homework. Plus, she was supposed to clean up her room (at least so we could see the floor).

Homework and room chores were completed by mid-afternoon, but I was shocked to find the rest of the house a mess. I found cookie crumbs, 2 bags of frozen fruit and three books in my bed (none of them belonging to me). I found an apple that had been spray-painted gold on my kitchen table, an eyelash curler in the garage on top of the deep freeze, three glasses of ice water in the living room, a bunch of stray alcohol swabs in front of the TV, a rock spray-painted gold in the computer room and a creation of muddy handprints on the side of the house. There was a mostly-eaten PopTart balanced atop a throw pillow and a wad of Kleenexes on the coffee table.

I think I may change her name to Master of Chaos.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Leaf Blower

Poll has closed. The use of the leaf blower to clean out one's van was considered "ingenious" by the majority, while labeled "redneck" by only two. Thank you to all those who participated in this survey.

Disclaimer: This is not a scientific poll, and was provided for entertainment purposes only. No responsibility can be taken by this blogger or blogspot for any injuries or damage caused by use of a leaf blower to clean out a van or any other vehicle.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Just Finished

I actually just ran to Wal-Mart, looking for the fourth and final installment of this Twilight series. It was not to be found. I'm 29th on the borrowing list at the library. I really don't want to buy this book. I don't think it's been good to me. I've stay up reading until one in the morning since Monday, then wake needing a fix. I'm nearly as obsessed as the middle school girls I've seen around town. But I swear - I will not wear an Edward and Bella t-shirt.

Edward and Jacob. Strange, the story is almost like a de ja vu for me. But without vampires or werewolves or the Volturi. I don't think I'm going to get it out of my head until I read the last book. I guess I'm lucky the books are all in print, though I'm quite impatient. Wish me well.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

New Moon

If the author talks about his cold lips, smooth as marble one more time . . . . Aren't there synonyms for cold? Smooth? Marble? Doesn't she have access to a thesaurus?

Yet, I read on. Book three tomorrow. Will a vampire marry a human? Shouldn't I being doing something more constructive? This is why I shy away from fiction. It occupies my thoughts with great intensity.

Can't . . . stop . . .

reading about fake vampires.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


OK. I read it, even though I swore I would not. But, I was pleasantly surprised. Vampire stories are interesting and these vampires don't follow the same rules as old-time movies. How this author has gotten compared to JK Rowling, however, is shocking. Twilight offered dreary daily commentary between sometimes contradictory descriptions of vampire life and habits. The "love" shared between the two main characters is typical of mainstream notions that the electric feeling between two people is all that matters.

My daughter is beginning to read the series, so we had a chat yesterday. Teenage girls reading this need to know the difference between love and lust.

TEA Party Update

The weather was cold, but the music was good. We even posted a sign on a Mason jar that read "Young Musician Financial Bailout." Would I host a TEA Party again? Probably. Here is a link to the front page newspaper article about the event. Fortunately for my sister Jamie (who fears an IRS audit due to my civil disobedience), my name was not mentioned in the article. Unfortunately for me, none of my clever one-liners offered during the open mic debate were quoted.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Tax Day Eve TEA Party

Have you heard of the nationwide movement to protest out-of-control taxing and spending? A friend and I are hosting a TEA party tomorrow evening because we are T.axed E.nough A.lready. We have a pavilion, fire pit possibilities, live entertainment, colonial costumes, poster-making tables and decaffeinated tea (of course). I wonder if I can convince Mike to grill pork patties for everyone while we protest pork barrel spending? Please stop by, bring your family and friends and join us for a lot of fun from 5:30-8:30. Let me know if you need directions.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

What's Your Worldview?

Did you know that the newly-elected leader of the free world just announced that the United States is NOT a Christian Nation? I guess the foundations of Christianity would not fit well with his ideas for marriage, life and equal rights for all. So now that he's our leader, we cease to be Christian?

Happy Easter

Happy Easter from all the Rellim cousins!

Good Answer

Quinn had his annual cleft palate team evaluation last week. The plastic surgeon visited first and asked him, "Tell me about your scar."

Quinn asked, "My what?"

I said, "Does that answer your question?"

The surgeon said, "Perfectly."

I wonder how much we will be charged for that consultation?

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

And the winner is . . .

- my sister Jodie!! She guessed that Quinn was talking about his shoes. Correct!

Quinn had been playing basketball in flip-flops and decided they were not the correct foot gear (He called them utensils.), so he changed into tennis shoes.

Thanks to all who entered the contest.

Monday, April 06, 2009

Special Moment

I was doing the math in my head before announcing to Rachel that we had just saved $34 dollars by using coupons at the grocery store. I then held up my right hand toward her (my left hand was driving) for a "high five." Rachel did not high five me, but turned toward her van window and raised her right hand.

hahaha! She thought I was waving to someone and wanted to be polite!

Saturday, April 04, 2009


I looked around the corner to see what he was talking about when he said, "These are not the correct utensils for playing basketball!"

What was he doing??

Please post your guess in the comments for this post. The winner will receive an autographed photo of the young man himself. Entry de adline 4/7/09.

Friday, April 03, 2009

The Truth

My neighbor annoys the heck out of me! Every time I see her, I wave and smile. Every day she speaks to me it's something new. Today she insinuated that her dog is smarter than my children because her dog understands that the ugly brown stakes along the property line indicate the end of her territory. Then she informed me that she would not be replacing the privacy fence between us because of it costing $8,000. I don't know who gave her that estimate. Someone who didn't want to do the work?

I thought I'd help her out, so I just planted thirteen ornamental grasses on our side of the property line. They should grow to be eight to ten feet high and two feet wide. They were free. Mrs. neighbor is all in a dither. Maybe I should have made the line a bit straighter . . . or spaced them equally apart. . . .

Hmmm . . . what to do with the $8K I just saved? How is this not loving your neighbor?

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Well Said

"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth."

Henry David Thoreau

Ode to Yoda

Yoda was the German Shepherd at the farm. I mostly viewed him as a manure-encrusted, hairy tire-chaser. Mr. Rellim strongly disagreed and reminded me of the time that Yoda endured Rachel's thumping him on the head in order to save the farm chicken he had clenched between his teeth. True - Rachel is lucky to have escaped that without a scrape. Mr. Rellim also informed me of the many times that Yoda blocked Quinn from running out in front of a tractor or truck (Why the dog was babysitting, I don't understand. That will be a post for another day.).

Anyway, thanks be to Yoda. You were a good dog and I didn't even know it.