Thursday, March 24, 2011

On the Lighter Side

Quinn told me that the best part of track practice today was when "some dude farted really loud - right when he was throwing the discus." I think the best part is the punch line when the coach shouted, "Nice release!"

Evelyn Leigh & VSD

Not sure yet to what degree.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Soccer Grandpa

I'm not sure if the story is all the way true, but . . . my dad called to say he watched Rachel's soccer game tonight FROM BEHIND THE NET WHERE RACHEL WAS PLAYING GOALIE. He said he stood there for the first half and into the second - until the referee asked him to move away from the players. Did I mention that he had my sister's dog with him on a leash?

Dad told me he wasn't really knowledgeable about soccer etiquette. Well, neither am I - but I think I would have noticed that NO ONE ELSE was standing behind the soccer net!

Monday, March 21, 2011

What She Said

The teacher said to me, "Your daughter struggles with her morals in my classroom." My mind raced at the absurdity of the comment. Was she lying? Cheating? Flashing body parts? Inconceivable!

I decided to let the teacher explain without interrupting her (novel idea for me, right?) and she finally got around to clarifying. What the teacher meant was that my daughter holds firm to her Christian beliefs and conservative social views despite "spirited" debate of current world issues in class.

Good for you, kiddo!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Forgot to Mention


Evelyn Leigh

Jamie and Corbett are new parents today. This is the first granddaughter in fifteen years for my side! Rachel got the seat of honor today.

Potassium Iodide

Mr. Rellim and I just took a walk in this beautiful weather. Looks like we will have daffodils blooming tomorrow! While on this walk, a strange white-bearded man hailed us. I stopped (could have been Santa's helper). Turned out he needed help moving his exercise bike into his upstairs apartment. He told us the entire story about how he acquired the bike in his long-winded fashion. Seems some people are willing to trade anything for a bottle of potassium iodide tablets. Even a prized exercise bike. Even for expired potassium iodide tablets. Seems some people are worried about local radiation levels.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Artificial Intelligence?

Rachel and I were using the Tom Tom today but decided to take a different route than suggested. The little Tom Tom kept telling us to turn left, then turn left. We didn't. Over and over again we defied the little GPS instructions. We began to wonder if the Tom Tom would become angry with us. Because if someone kept driving in the opposite direction that I had said, I would get angry. I'm worried that tomorrow the Tom Tom might give me the wrong directions, having learned of my penchant to disobey. How smart is my Tom Tom?

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Speaking of Hiding Things

My absent-minded daughter often leaves half-empty glasses of water around the house. Yesterday, I opened the linen closet and found a large glass of water at eye level. I felt like Gomer Pyle ("Well surprise, surprise!).

Creative Punishment

My daughter did not put away her clothes yesterday. She often does not put away her clothes. I've begged, hollered, threatened, and finally - picked them all up and hid them under her brother's bed.

If she doesn't take care of them, she doesn't need them for a while.

Stephen James

Read the previous post. You are the kind of person he is looking for. I will vote for you.

Monday, March 14, 2011

New Guy

I met an interesting man tonight. He was a former gubernatorial candidate for Illinois this fall. Adam "angie-ef-ski" (I can't spell his name, only sound it out). Very impressive ideas. He is now CEO in charge of a large fund searching for strong conservative, pro-family, pro-life candidates to run against liberal Illinois establishment in 2012. Their war cry is "Transparency! Accountability! Limited Government!" (The exclamation points are my addition.)

I think I like him. I even found his real name - Adam Andrzejewski.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

New Title

A student told me, "You are a good speecher. Have you always wanted to be a speecher?"

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Infant Luggage

My sister is expecting her first baby this month. She told me she is shopping for luggage. I thought that was an odd thing for an expectant mother to need. Then she told me, "Well, you can't expect my new daughter to share a suitcase with me while we're at the hospital! Where would she keep all her pretty outfits?"

Sunday, March 06, 2011

It's Almost Lent

I'm thinking of giving up credit cards again for Lent. Is it bad that I'm planning what I'm going to charge in the next few days? I think I'll start with a big tank of gas and a few gallons of milk. Maybe catch a movie tonight . . .

It's not that I have a problem with credit, but I do need to work on patience. Delaying gratification is a fairly effective exercise for me. I know this because I hate it.

Friday, March 04, 2011


Quinn asked if he could be cryogenically frozen until Sunday. Hypothesizing that he may be extremely anxious about his musical performance tonight, I provided soothing, encouraging words. With an annoyed look on his face, he exclaimed, "What?! I'm not talking about the musical! I can't wait for the release of the Pokemon Black & White video games for DSi! It's on Sunday!"

Moms and sons do not think alike.

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Slave Trader

Quinn is ready for his dress rehearsal this evening. The middle school is presenting "Connecticut Yankees." All I know is that my son is completely exhausted from the four-hour long evening practices the last few days. So tired, in fact, that he must be having a brain-to-mouth backfire. He just shouted to me, "Good day, idiot!" on the way out the door.

Perhaps some day we will be reading "Quotable Quinn."

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

Still Taxed Enough Already

I attended a state-wide TEA party leaders round table on Sunday. I had no idea there would be people from all over the state. I also had no idea that I would be there for five hours. New ideas. Great contacts. Brain overflow.

Our next local rally will be April 9th. State rally on April 15th.