Choose your Umpire

How would you choose the umpire for the biggest baseball game of the season? I'll vote for someone who plays by the rules.

Illuminati Motto?

"Better to illuminate than merely to shine, to deliver to
others contemplated truths than merely to contemplate."

— St. Thomas Aquinas

Fluffy Burgers

Our local meat market sells awesome hamburgers they call "fluffy burgers." I don't know exactly what that means, but they are yummy on the grill. With his mouth full of one of these beauties, Quinn commented, "Floppy burgers are the best!!!"

Close, but no cigar.

Inside the Revolution

Radicals, Reformists and Revivalists - OH MY!

First Time

It could have been an audition for Donald Trump's Apprentice show - except that it wasn't. I had a father shout at me and pound his fists repeatedly on the table, wrapping up his rant with a convincing, "YOU'RE FIRED!!" Thankfully, he was not my boss. I'm still recovering from the shock. It might be funny tomorrow.

Do You Know?

Do you know what these people have in common?

Religious Diversity

The students in my fifth grade advisory group were to write two things about themselves that they would like to share with the group. The cards were then shuffled among the group members and read aloud for others to guess. One person read from a card, "I am merman." A discussion ensued regarding what merman could mean. I suggested that it was a male mermaid.

Alas, we were all wrong. A young lady finally spoke up, red-faced, "MORMON! I AM MORMON!"

"So," asked a curious student, "do you swim a lot?"

Clean Your Room!

My friend's 13-year-old daughter got a surprise today. Her mother signed her out of school at 10:30 am so she could appropriately clean her bedroom. I know - it sounds harsh, until you learn that two full bags of trash were hauled out of the small space. Bedroom artifacts included a half-eaten, molding cheeseburger and a Sunny D chemistry experiment. My friend said that her own room may not be perfectly clean, but it does NOT contain poison.

She asked if she had won the Worst Mom Award for the day. I told her that I would be more likely to vote Most Creative Mom. You?

Perseverance as a Beauty Treatment

"Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul.”

--General Douglas MacArthur

Chaperone

I served as a chaperone for a middle school field trip to Oak Brook today. We enjoyed a performance of Curtains. Excellent. Eight hours in the charter bus - not so excellent. Anyway, one of the highlights of the afternoon was when a student walked up to me and asked, "Mrs. Rachel's mom, can you tell me where I can buy concessions during the inter course?"

I'm certain he meant intermission.

Not My Daughter

. . . but the eleven-year-old daughter of my friend wrote this as part of a written tribute for Mother's Day.

You make really good food for dinner. I love to eat dinner when you're cooking, but I love it more when daddy is cooking. My new favorite meal is when you don't burn all the dinner food that we are going to have that night. I am thankful for all the food you make even when it is a little under cooked, way burnt, or just right. It is always good enough for my dinner.

Oops!

We attended a dual band/chorus concert last night for Rachel's middle school. As the band filed in, Mr. Rellim lamented, "The band is playing first? If I'd known that, I would have gotten here later so I could just listen to Rachel sing in the chorus." Mr. Rellim doesn't like listening to bands so well.

"Because, " I reminded him, "Rachel is in the band too."

This Just In

Quinn announced this morning that he would like a career in show choir. Hmmm . . . singing and dancing his way to a paycheck. Interesting.

Awful Speaker

I attended a workshop today. I don't know what annoyed me more about the woman - the slowly paced presentation, or the lack of obvious cohesion to her points, or the way she made little reference to any research based evidence, or her utter lack of knowledge about what she was presenting!

The good parts? I got CEUs and the lecture was free.

BTW - Mrs. Neighbor noticed I was not at school today and asked me in her super sweet voice if school was out for summer already?? Why does she always tempt me to kick her?

Happy Mother's Day

Quinn gave up the front seat of the car even though he'd called, "Shotgun!" first. Rachel made me a glass of iced tea without asking questions. Mike accompanied me to buy some flowering annuals, then helped me pull weeds.

I'd say that's a pretty good day.

New Wardrobe Term

You've heard of "Casual Fridays?" Well, Mr. Rellim told me that my outfit today was "hot" and "professional." I told him that was not a compliment in my line of work. I may never wear that shirt again.

Poof

Quinn ran to a neighbor's house to borrow a Harry Potter movie. He returned, out of breath, and announced, "Man! I'm so out of shape! I'm really poofed!"

Pretty sure he meant "pooped."