True Test

I'm considering asking Mr. Rellim to drive home with a long trailer full of pigs. If Mrs. Neighbor is home and able, we should get a call from the city within the hour.

True, I cannot take credit for this idea. All thanks and honor go to Polly.

Conspiracy

Where is Mrs. Neighbor? We see Mr. N. walking the dog, but no sight of Mrs. N. This morning at 6:30 am I witnessed him taking Mrs. N.'s new red car for a spin - without her. Is she a late sleeper these days? Did he wake up early so he could drive the car without asking permission? Is she ill? In seclusion? Did he finally crack and leave her at their previous vacation destination?

Why am I obsessing about this?

Conundrum

I'm leaving for Chicago for five days. Should I clean the house or surf the web? I'll have to clean it when I get back anyway. Plus, I'm busy trying to pack food and drinks in my suitcase so I don't have to pay $2 for a bottle of water and $6 for a bag of M & Ms. I'm having trouble with the chips and salsa situation. Wish me luck.

Nuns with Guns

Apologies to all my jihadist readers.

Track Rules

Rachel begins middle school track season in a couple weeks and we were reviewing the rules for being a part of the team. One of the rules states, "Shorts must be kept on at all times."

More Political Correctness

Bad Asthma Advice

Today a mom told me that her child does not have an inhaler at school because, "She only needs it when she's having an attack."

Per John Adams

"We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion. Avarice, ambition, revenge, or gallantry, would break the strongest cords of our Constitution as a whale goes through a net. Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other."

— President John Adams

Don't Cross the Streams!

The line was delivered by my husband while standing in front of the toilet with the boy. I guess it's just a form of water conservation. Better than the sign I found in a restroom in Iowa City in 1993:
"If it's brown, flush it down. If it's yellow, leave it for the next fellow."

Basketball

Watched Quinn's second game of the sixth grade season. It's painful, mostly. Thankfully, a father sitting nearby sent us into giggles when he commented:

"I love watching these games! They're so unpredictable. Anybody could shoot a basket from anywhere at anytime!"

Yeah, that about sums it up.

Hairdos

Rachel and I have been experimenting with new 'dos. Whadyathink?

Percy the Movie

I read the book since Quinn had. Interesting, but very Harry Potter - without the embedded deep spiritual truths.

So, we saw the movie, and as entertaining as it was, it still lacked substance. I didn't feel connected to the characters and the acting wasn't all that great. Speaking of actors - in the book, the characters are 13 years old. In the movie, Percy is portrayed by an 18 year old and Annabeth by a 23 year old actress.

Online movie review summed it up as such:
If there's anything we all can take away from Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief, it's that God (with a capital G) is nothing like the silly Greek gods who play havoc with human life, jealously accuse one another and then savagely attack. Their neglected demigod kids must study and train to tackle their preternatural parents' pettiness. God's children don't have to. In fact, He fights for them.

But that's not in the movie; it's in the Bible. All this flimsy flick does on its own is clobber kids with polytheism, severed heads, Vegas excess and lame dialogue. A simpering satyr who's a junior protector trying to earn his horns? Really?

Puppy Love

I realize I don't own a dog, but it is normal for a person to shovel her yard in order for her little doggie to have an easier go? Mrs. Neighbor must think so, because Mr. Neighbor has been toiling to clear the snow from their perfect sod for quite some time. Mr. Rellim remarked that it's either outside work or inside conversation. Good point, dear.

Sunday School Fun

I helped with the preschoolers yesterday. The story was about two blind men whom Jesus healed. I said to the children, "These men could not see. Who can tell me why the men could not see?"

From the back, a four-year-old shouted, "Because they were bald!"

How Much Snow?

So how much snow has fallen in the nation's capital? Enough snow that the Senate had to cancel a committee hearing on global warming. Cool.

What's in Your Clothes Basket?

My friend, Mrs. Bickerson, wrote about going to an art exhibit where a " . . . girl had made a self-portrait with multiple exposures of film with an old camera. She made herself look like a ghost. A naked ghost. A friend of hers emerged from the other end of the line. He dropped off a cat skeleton that he had exhumed and wired together. I think he considered himself a bit of a green artist."

Speaking of naked - I once was in a meeting with a person who offered to show me a few sketches he had drawn. "They are nudes," he said, "Just wanted to tell you in case that would offend you." I should have taken that as a warning, because on about the fourth sketch I noticed that the pencil-drawn nudes had turned into an elaborate sketch of a naked man in a clothes basket.

"That's me," he said. "It's part of my self-portrait series."

I said, "Yes it is!" and continued to pass the sketches around the table. Why did I do that? Why did we keep looking at them? I'm laughing right now just thinking about it. Naked is funny - and completely inappropriate - and funny!

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Mr. Rellim introduced us to a new game tonight. Whenever we see a picture of Nancy Pelosi on TV, we have to scream. The trick is to scream for the same amount of time that her picture is visible. This may be a sign that cabin fever is setting in. Or this could be exactly the release I will need since I won't be screaming at my kids anymore.

Confidentiality

This is a concept that one of the girls in Rachel's Sunday school class does not quite understand. After church yesterday, this girl ran up to me to say, "Well, Rachel told us all about all the yelling! Hahahahahaha! You must yell a lot. She told us all about it." I had to laugh. I couldn't yell at her at church . . .

Anyway, check out the new book I'm working on. Wish me luck.

True Confession

I just left the superbowl party my friend was having because Quinn asked me, "Is the basketball game over yet?" I told him yes in order to get him home and showered before his 8:00 bedtime. Someone will have to tell me how it all goes down. Oh, maybe my husband and daughter can do that. I left them at the party!!!!

The Lightning Thief

Exciting read for juvenile fiction. I'm getting ready for the big movie release on the 15th.

Happy Birthday, Rachel!

Can't believe you're fourteen already. I love you!

The Great Divorce

I will have to re-read this one sometime soon. Lewis writes about an imaginary journey from hell to the outskirts of heaven. He eavesdrops on many conversations and is surprised to hear how many people choose to reject heaven in order to embrace things like envy, anger, universalism, self-pity, pride.