$11.00

I found eleven dollars in a pair of black slacks that I hadn't worn since last spring. I quickly gave it to Little Caesar's for a yummy dinner.

Not Similar

To occupy means to seize possession of and maintain control over by force. Sounds like a military maneuver – and certainly not a peaceful one. How anyone can compare the TEA Party demonstrations to the Occupy movement is idiotic. The main point of both movements is the growing distrust of the federal government. The manner in which the sentiments are expressed is completely different.

Sweet Boy

Quinn insisted on attending the latest movie with me from the Twilight Saga. In this movie, the main human character, Bella, marries and has a baby with her vampire husband, Edward.

Today, Quinn wondered aloud if the actress who portrayed Bella really had to get pregnant for the movie and if she really had to let Edward bite her and get that big needle of venom thrust into her heart. I kindly reminded him that actors are acting and that she was in no pain during the filming of the bloody birth scene. (I was already regretting taking him to the movie because of some questionable honeymoon scenes.)

Then Rachel added some levity to the situation by saying, "And she didn't really have to turn into a vampire either."

$100

Mr. Rellim gave me a $100 dollar bill today and asked, "Do you have a way to break it for me?" I assured him that I could.

After a trip to the grocery store, I do have some smaller bills. But hopefully he won't mind that they only add up to about $40 bucks.

From the Backseat

My nephew, Owen (8 yrs old) came to visit yesterday and I drove him and Quinn around over Quinn's lunch break so they could have a "roaming picnic" while eating McDonald's drive-through. Owen is a good reader and he entertained himself - and especially me - by reading signs in town. As we drove by the college dive Planet Wiener, Owen noticed that the giant hotdog on the sign had rings around it like one of the planets in our solar system. The following conversation ensued . . .

Owen: Look! Planet Wiener! There's a giant hotdog coming out of Uranus!
Quinn: That's not Uranus. That's Saturn. Uranus doesn't have rings around it, only rocks.
Owen: Well, I think it is a wiener and it is Uranus! Why did they make the wiener poke through Uranus? It looks funny.

It was all I could do to keep driving.

Fire Alarm Funnies

The fire alarm went off today in response to smoke from a faculty room microwave mishap. I happened to be in a group of Kindergarten students while they made their way safely and quickly out the back door. I was carrying a preschooler and had wrapped her up in my coat since the weather was cold (42 degrees) and windy.

Between kids' chattering teeth, I heard these comments:
"I hope no one is eating my peanut butter sandwich! (left behind in the cafeteria)"
"Why is everyone going to recess now?"
"Can I play hopscotch?"
"I'm so cold I'm going to melt!"

New Roof

Mrs. Neighbor is getting a new roof. I asked her why she was replacing her roof (I knew that it had been replaced only about five years ago by the previous owner.).

This was her response:

"We are replacing the roof because [insert long glance toward the Rellim home.] it is so ugly. We don't need to live in an ugly home. Whoever gets this home after us will certainly be walking into a gem."

I just said, "Oh," turned and walked away toward my ugly little ranch.

Occupy Reality

I'm sorry life hasn't given you a bowl of cherries. Try making some lemonade. If you have all this time on your hands, why don't you donate it to a homeless shelter or soup kitchen or children's charity?

Why I Need Reading Glasses

-and possibly a memory boost, because I feel like I may have already blogged about this but can't find the post.

A few weeks ago a coworker asked me to send an email to our tech office requesting that they delete voice mail on her extension. As a consultant, she does not have need for the voice mail at the school and also does not have access to the tech office (weird). I glanced at her phone to get the extension number and sent the email. Unfortunately for the employee at x2867, the consultant's extension was actually x2857.

I'm amazed at the number of situations where reading is required.

Just Three Things

I propose a Saturday Night Live skit in which a cashier gets to know his customer based on three items in her purchase. Here were my three items at CVS: mega-bag of Hershey's chocolate bars, pantyliners and ibuprofen. Tell me about what three items you might have in your cart today.

Autism Speaks

During a brief moment of silence while teaching a phonological awareness lesson to a Kindergarten class today, a young student heard his name spoken from the room next door. He sat up straight, gasped, then said, "I hear myself!"