Grandma Thoughts

I've been thinking about my grandma today.  She had red hair before it turned gray.  She sang first soprano with the Stephen Foster Singers in high school and had a chance to travel and sing to entertain the troops during WWII.  I'm not exactly sure why she did not take that opportunity.  She married a WWII vet, a first-generation German American, and had five children.  At age 35 she was widowed and moved her family across the country to live close to her mother (also recently widowed) and worked in a variety of desk and retail jobs to support her family. 

Grandma was a big part of my life.  She came to every birthday party and church program and school concert and high school musical.  She visited Mr. Rellim and me when we were newlyweds and drove hours to visit her great-grandchildren when they were young.  I used to call her on my days off and use my headset phone and clean the house while we talked. 

At age 76, she married again and I took photos documenting the joy on her face.  Within a couple of years it became apparent that her short term memory was failing and her husband Russ made the difficult decision to move her to a nursing home.  Grandma was just no longer safe in her own home.

I've visited Grandma at the nursing home a handful of times and it's heartbreaking to observe her cognitive and communication deficits.  I'm not even sure that she knows it's me.  But I'm sure she knows that it's someone who loves her.  It's so strange to be sitting next to her, yet overwhelming be feeling how much I miss her.