No Such Thing

I learned today that there is no such thing as a free computer. I purchased a CAT 5 ethernet extension, an ethernet hub, a mouse and a computer desk in preparation for my free computer. Then my free computer did not respond when I pressed the power button.

I just took my free computer to local computer geeks, who have agreed to determine the problem - for $45.

Fancy Duds

Christmas Eve with Reggenoh cousins.
Merry Christmas, everyone!

Mrs. Other Neighbor

Mrs. Other Neighbor just called. It's Friday evening. She asked if we were missing a bicycle. I had no idea, so I asked Quinn, "Hey, Quinn, are we missing a bicycle?"

He said, "Yeah. We've been missing Dad's bike since about Saturday. I couldn't find it after I got done delivering Christmas treats around the neighborhood."

I told him to go pick it up at Mrs. Other Neighbor's house. It's been there since last Saturday.

The boy may never get to borrow the car. Ever.

Karma

I received a phone call from Quinn's principal this week. It seems he was involved in a minor altercation whereupon he was punched in the balls by another student in the locker room. "Yes," my son admitted, "I did punch the other kid in the balls a couple weeks ago, but there's no way it hurt this much!"

Both boys served before-school detentions the next day.

Illinois

Our unfortunate claim to fame.

My Early Christmas Present?

A new washing machine. Speed Queen. Six months same as cash. I guess it will be my birthday present too.

Christmas Concert

Rachel is wearing her new concert gown, purchased in large part by the fruit sales made by her little brother for the music boosters.

Academic Excellence

Rachel just "earned" 20 extra credit points in her Spanish II class by bringing in ten canned food items for the local food pantry.

New Appetizer

I heard about this on the Food Network tonight -
Bacon Wrapped Matzo Balls. Seriously.

Planning Ahead

My mom had minor surgery today (all went well.). I heard that in preparation for her recovery, she and one of my sisters went through the refrigerator and eliminated everything that my dad could possibly feed her in the next few days that could have gone bad.

$11.00

I found eleven dollars in a pair of black slacks that I hadn't worn since last spring. I quickly gave it to Little Caesar's for a yummy dinner.

Not Similar

To occupy means to seize possession of and maintain control over by force. Sounds like a military maneuver – and certainly not a peaceful one. How anyone can compare the TEA Party demonstrations to the Occupy movement is idiotic. The main point of both movements is the growing distrust of the federal government. The manner in which the sentiments are expressed is completely different.

Sweet Boy

Quinn insisted on attending the latest movie with me from the Twilight Saga. In this movie, the main human character, Bella, marries and has a baby with her vampire husband, Edward.

Today, Quinn wondered aloud if the actress who portrayed Bella really had to get pregnant for the movie and if she really had to let Edward bite her and get that big needle of venom thrust into her heart. I kindly reminded him that actors are acting and that she was in no pain during the filming of the bloody birth scene. (I was already regretting taking him to the movie because of some questionable honeymoon scenes.)

Then Rachel added some levity to the situation by saying, "And she didn't really have to turn into a vampire either."

$100

Mr. Rellim gave me a $100 dollar bill today and asked, "Do you have a way to break it for me?" I assured him that I could.

After a trip to the grocery store, I do have some smaller bills. But hopefully he won't mind that they only add up to about $40 bucks.

From the Backseat

My nephew, Owen (8 yrs old) came to visit yesterday and I drove him and Quinn around over Quinn's lunch break so they could have a "roaming picnic" while eating McDonald's drive-through. Owen is a good reader and he entertained himself - and especially me - by reading signs in town. As we drove by the college dive Planet Wiener, Owen noticed that the giant hotdog on the sign had rings around it like one of the planets in our solar system. The following conversation ensued . . .

Owen: Look! Planet Wiener! There's a giant hotdog coming out of Uranus!
Quinn: That's not Uranus. That's Saturn. Uranus doesn't have rings around it, only rocks.
Owen: Well, I think it is a wiener and it is Uranus! Why did they make the wiener poke through Uranus? It looks funny.

It was all I could do to keep driving.

Fire Alarm Funnies

The fire alarm went off today in response to smoke from a faculty room microwave mishap. I happened to be in a group of Kindergarten students while they made their way safely and quickly out the back door. I was carrying a preschooler and had wrapped her up in my coat since the weather was cold (42 degrees) and windy.

Between kids' chattering teeth, I heard these comments:
"I hope no one is eating my peanut butter sandwich! (left behind in the cafeteria)"
"Why is everyone going to recess now?"
"Can I play hopscotch?"
"I'm so cold I'm going to melt!"

New Roof

Mrs. Neighbor is getting a new roof. I asked her why she was replacing her roof (I knew that it had been replaced only about five years ago by the previous owner.).

This was her response:

"We are replacing the roof because [insert long glance toward the Rellim home.] it is so ugly. We don't need to live in an ugly home. Whoever gets this home after us will certainly be walking into a gem."

I just said, "Oh," turned and walked away toward my ugly little ranch.

Occupy Reality

I'm sorry life hasn't given you a bowl of cherries. Try making some lemonade. If you have all this time on your hands, why don't you donate it to a homeless shelter or soup kitchen or children's charity?

Why I Need Reading Glasses

-and possibly a memory boost, because I feel like I may have already blogged about this but can't find the post.

A few weeks ago a coworker asked me to send an email to our tech office requesting that they delete voice mail on her extension. As a consultant, she does not have need for the voice mail at the school and also does not have access to the tech office (weird). I glanced at her phone to get the extension number and sent the email. Unfortunately for the employee at x2867, the consultant's extension was actually x2857.

I'm amazed at the number of situations where reading is required.

Just Three Things

I propose a Saturday Night Live skit in which a cashier gets to know his customer based on three items in her purchase. Here were my three items at CVS: mega-bag of Hershey's chocolate bars, pantyliners and ibuprofen. Tell me about what three items you might have in your cart today.

Autism Speaks

During a brief moment of silence while teaching a phonological awareness lesson to a Kindergarten class today, a young student heard his name spoken from the room next door. He sat up straight, gasped, then said, "I hear myself!"

Red Ribbon Week

I wore my "crazy" socks today for Red Ribbon Week. It is supposed to be a statement about "socking it" to drugs.

Too bad Crazy Sock Day is tomorrow. Today was Wear Red Day.

I wore orange.

Kudos to Kristin

Rachel's friend Kristin took many pictures last weekend. Here are some of my favorites.

Thanks, Dick.

You know we've been watching the Dick Van Dyke show, right?

Quinn just announced that if he had a time machine he would go back in time to the days when the man came home from work to a perfectly-cleaned home, kissed his wife, then ate homemade dinner that she made for him. "You know - before women had all these 'equal rights.'"

So Far, So Good

Although Quinn has not yet attempted his revenge on his father, I do know that Mr. Rellim did not sleep well last night. I know this because he bolted straight up in bed when the wind picked up and caused our bedroom door to creak and move slightly back and forth.

My guess is that Quinn's revenge will involve rubber snakes. Mr. Rellim hates snakes. I've seen the man jump and scream and destroy things in his path to gain distance between himself and snakes. This actually happened once while we were in a very small boat surrounded by crocodiles. Legit.

Let the Games Begin

As if accidentally poisoning my son with peanut-dust-laced m&m cookies was not enough trauma for one day, Mr. Rellim decided to scare him by hiding in the dark behind the garage. Quinn was scared - then angry. Then, while Quinn stood in the bathroom, preparing to enter the shower, Mr. Rellim scared him again by thrusting his hand through the bathroom window.

I insisted that he apologize. Quinn said, "He should be way more afraid of what I'm going to do to him."

Our Newest Family Pastime

We just finished watching the entire first season of the Dick Van Dyke Show. After Quinn's initial roar of disapproval due to the black and white, he was heard to giggle the most.


One of our favorite was the episode "Where Did I Come From?" You can watch it here for free!

Cell Phones

The high school here just ditched their "NO CELL PHONES" policy. Now the students have permission to use their phones during passing times and at lunch. My hunch is that the kids abuse that privilege too. Here is a funny little something I found on the subject:

My Cousin's Wedding

One picture is Rachel with her new baby cousin, Evelyn and surrounded by my parents. The other picture is us with a little cow - my nephew Owen.
Funny stuff.

Speech and Hearing

I took Quinn and his friend to the local grocery store to pick up some ice cream. While in the check out line, the woman ahead of us dropped her change. Quinn leaned over to his friend and said, "Pick up the money for the ma'am." A few seconds later, Quinn's friend attempted a stage whisper, "That's not a man! It's a woman!"

Homecoming

Do You Suppose?

Andy

Andy was the younger brother of Mr. Rellim's best buddy. Here is a picture of Andy's two young kids waving to him during planting time last spring. I imagine he's reaping a harvest in heaven today. Rest in peace, friend.

Way Worth the Read

My Lucky Life in and out of Show Business.

The Future

Quinn told us that when he grows up he's going to live in a small town with a great view - and near a volcano.

Mammals

An intelligent third grade student of mine is learning about mammals. He told me that all mammals drink milk from their mothers. He then proceeded to stare me up and down, asking, "I get it with cows, but with people - WHERE does it come from?!"

I momentarily lost my courage and replied, "Well, I guess that's a question for your mom. She would know."

Sure-Fire Way to Make it Rain

Set up your sprinkler to give your garden a drink. Leave it on during dinner. Have a church meeting. Forget to turn off the sprinkler. Go to bed late. Wake up to loud thunder at 3:00 am wondering if there's anything you've forgotten to do.

Editing

Yes, the blog is occasionally edited as some members of the family do not appreciate every detail of her Homecoming plans broadcast to the world. But, just wondering - how many offers did you receive in one week to attend a school dance? And how many times did your answer change, necessitating some un-asking and re-asking? I suppose I'm recording events now so that I won't forget any details. I just get confused so easily.

Rejoice in the Everyday

Quinn came running out of the bathroom naked, soaking wet, shower still running, to proudly proclaim, "I caught a fly with my hands!!"

And my friend thought her teenage boy was going a little loopy.

Vocabulary Enhancement

There are a lot of words my son apparently has not really learned. Today, when the school nurse joked about being able to cut out his appendix, if necessary, Quinn gave a shocked look and quickly grabbed his privates. I guess he only heard the "dix" part. (And why does he know that word?!)

Later, he asked me why the doctor was touching the back of his throat in order to touch his tonsils. "Why did she have to gag me with that stick?! Aren't tonsils on my teeth?"

And this summer when asked to wear denim as a part of his VBS attire, he just ignored the instruction because he figured it was "some sort of girl thing."

74/?

Seventy-four over nothing.

That's what my blood pressure was this morning before working out. The trainer dude just stared at me. I said, "That's a new record," and walked away.

Maybe I'll eat a good breakfast.

As If

As if a bum shoulder wasn't enough to help her opponents get a ball past her . . . Rachel now has a jammed thumb. We may have to buy an injury-proof bubble for her to wear while playing soccer.

I Really Like Him

Former Senator Rick Santorum. I know it's a long shot, but he does have an impressive list of accomplishments as PA Representative and then Senator. This is an 11-minute interview, but worth it.

I read this book of his a few years ago and predicted that he might be a Presidential candidate someday. This is the day and I wish him good luck!

Teenagers are Idiots!

(But they have a lot of fun.)

If you see Rachel, ask how her shoulder is feeling after the golf cart rollover accident.

First Day Report

Quinn told us the first day of school was "stupid."

Rachel shared with us the "Get to Know You" questionnaire that she had filled out for her honors English class. She wrote that her weaknesses include "staying organized and remembering important information." She wrote that her strengths include "having an opinion about everything."

That's my girl.

Stolen! Briefly.

Rachel called to tell me that she and her friend had their bicycles stolen while they were at the university campus. My first thought was that she might have simply misplaced them (She is an absent-minded professor.). But, "NO!" she said, "We actually saw the people riding away with them!"

A few minutes later, campus police had tracked down the perpetrators. It was almost too easy since the women were also pulling a little tykes wagon full of children.

True story.

I wonder if the ladies had said, "C'mon, kiddos! Let's go get us some bikes to ride!"

I wonder if the wagon was theirs.

I wonder if the kids were theirs.

El Fin

The last day of summer vacation for me here. I knew it was coming. I've received three letters from school administrators, emails, even a pre-recorded phone message. Yet still I wonder when I'll have time in my life for a job.

Perhaps I'll take a bit less time reading the morning paper. I will have to start folding clothes and watching the news at the same time. Time to dust off the crock pot & change my "Summer To Do List" to "Christmas Vacation To Do List."

But I have a Christmas Vacation (nevermind what the public school calls it now) and that makes all the difference!

Salty

I'm doing something salty this afternoon instead of just treading water with my life. Rachel joined me at the TEA Party booth at a local fair. The second person to approach the booth started cussing and accusing us of starving babies. Oh my!

Chandelier Dress

So ugly, it's charming, right? Rachel does not agree. So if my sister doesn't like it, I guess I'll dress up as a chandelier for Halloween. Any predictions?

Thoughts on the Debate

Romney: Slick. Charming, but I don't think he's showing us all his cards. Romneycare.

Pawlenty: Whiny.

Cain: Good ideas but limited knowledge of politics. Somewhat unfairly targeted with religious-based questions.

Gingrich: Strong knowledge of history & politics, but too abrasive.

Bachmann: Forced to defend herself. Tactfully answered outrageous question about submission to her husband.

Paul: Get the US outta world affairs!

Santorum: Like him, like him, like him as strong social conservative, proven ability to achieve welfare reform, take action against nations who threaten us. But, his absolute honesty actually hurts him with others who do not agree because he doesn't even pretend to pretend to agree (re: abortion, gay marriage, etc).

Your thoughts?

New Skirt

I was wearing my cute new skirt yesterday while back-to-school shopping with Rachel and my mom. Suddenly, things seemed more breezy than before. That's when I noticed the side zipper on the skirt was split from top to bottom and beyond repair. My solution to the wardrobe malfunction? I borrowed a stapler from a clerk at the store we were in and "closed the gap." It only took three staples. Who needs a needle and thread?

Evelyn

Some recent pictures of our niece who is five months old. Anyone got a good caption for the one with the dog? "Gracie is such a stinker!" "Learning Experience" Any others?

County Fair

Quinn showed two rabbits today (Albus - senior buck, and Bambi - senior doe). He scored an "A" rating, but did not place in the top two. Since he won the Showmanship award last year, he was not eligible to participate today, but we thought he did great. Rachel and her friends also approved.

Getting Ready

Quinn and Mike are in County Fair mode. Here Albus is getting his nails clipped for the show tomorrow.

Take it from a Founder

“(W)ith respect to future debt; would it not be wise and just for that nation to declare in the constitution they are forming that neither the legislature, nor the nation itself can validly contract more debt, than they may pay within their own age.”

— Thomas Jefferson, in a letter to James Madison (1789)

Thrifty

At a favorite resale shop on Wednesday, I spent $12.62. I saved $122.00. I saved $122.00 off the resale prices, mind you. Anyone need a personal shopper? Cuz I'm on a roll . . .

54

Quinn saw an allergist on Tuesday. He endured 54 "skin pric ks" dipped in various pollens or food allergens. Guess how many he did not react to? Four. Guess how many times he said mean words? More than four.

The allergist called him an IGG FACTORY. Quinn said, "I'll take that as a compliment."

Spiders

Interesting spider sights. The sculpture garden design is obvious, but did anyone point out that Michelle Obama's inauguration gown is covered with white, glittery spiders too? We were surprised to see them while viewing her dress at the Smithsonian. She said it was designed to "convey hope." And how about the election night dress that resembled the markings of a black-widow spider. Is this coincidence? Someone needs to investigate.

A Morning at the Beach

While Rachel slept in the hotel, Mike and Quinn enjoyed an early morning at Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. Highlights included throwing rocks at seagulls and cursing Neptune. I told you it was a male bonding adventure, right? I just tagged along to take pictures and shout directions. Oh yeah - and Quinn has obviously graduated from sand castle building. His sand art now includes sand boob. BTW, the water was cold, as Mike is exclaiming.

A Day at the Beach

Cape Henlopen State Park in Delaware. Who knew (besides the Wheeler fam)? After an early afternoon pop-up thunderstorm cleared the locals, we had the entire beach practically to ourselves. Not very many shells to be had, but the kids enjoyed riding the waves and digging for sand crabs. We saw a few dolphins too. These are only a few of the many great photos.

Always Following the Rules

Looking again for the car. Today we found a spot to park for FREE. Yesterday, we parked under the Reagan Building for $12, but wandered around in the basement for a while before a security guard helped us find our way. I suppose they didn't like us in the basement of a closed, empty building at 9:45 pm. The security guard who let us into the building to begin with probably got a demerit.

Changing of the Guard

Touching ceremony at Arlington National Cemetery. Nevermind the sweating buckets to get there.

Me and W

At the Museum of American History

Rachel's Favs

Rachel enjoyed the National Museum of Art and the Sculpture Garden, where she found a shady spot to text (some more).