Still Learning

Quinn brought home a spelling test on which he achieved a 71%. There was a note from the teacher asking him why he did so poorly since it was an "open book" test. I asked Quinn the same question. He told me, "Well, I just wanted to learn from my mistakes."

I said, "Time to start learning!" and made him write each misspelled word correctly three times. Quinn was not happy. But I think he was learning.

I Quit

. . . after considering things like tuition, homework, fees, actually going to class, textbook rental, time and energy, and the fact that I don't really want to be a principal.

I mean, I do like to be in charge of things, but I really like giving people my opinion, then going on with my day.

All Wet at the Bridal Shower

I arrived late to my coworker's bridal shower, just in time to see her stand behind the cake for a picture. Another woman whom I did not recognize stood with her behind the cake. The cake said, "Congratulations Terri and Pat." I knew Terri. I assumed Pat must be another employee in the building who was also getting married, but whom I had not met.

I asked someone, "Who's Pat?" (meaning, "Who is that woman that I don't know?")

Someone answered, "Pat is Terri's fiance'." (meaning, "Pat is Terri's fiance'.")

I should not have started laughing hysterically when I learned that the woman I did not know was not named Pat, had never worked in the building and was actually Terri's mom.

Artificial Intelligence

I believe that the machines at my Curves workout center have gained consciousness. They expect more and more each time. I imagine that they talk to each other and tell jokes about how my seat spills over the sides of their seats.

How am I so sure this can happen? Have you read the blog managed by the President's teleprompter? Have you seen Eagle Eye?

Senior Math

I think this might have actually been lifted from my senior math final in 1988. Of course, this answer is better than anything I could have come up with.

Bathing

Rachel: What do you mean I won't be able to shower after track today? I have to go right to church?! I could . . . get a yeast infection! (not sure where that came from)

Quinn: Get a grip, Rachel! I've not taken a shower for like three days straight and I've NEVER had a yeast infection!

Well, I guess that settles it.

Zits

I have a new favorite comic strip. Maybe it's funny to me because I'm starting to identify with the parents. The strip today made me laugh out loud! I hope you can link to it here.

The teenage boy says to his mother, "MOM! There aren't any clean towels in my room! I just had to dry off with a bag of cotton balls and some pocket lint." The mom replies, "I handed you a stack of clean towels two days ago and they're still sitting there on the stairs where you left them." The boy turns around, glances at the towels on the stairs, crosses his arms and says, "Oh sure, everything's my fault."

Oh! And another great comic that was "stripped" from our local papers, likely because of it's traditional views, is Mallard Fillmore. I usually got a chuckle out of that one too. You can access either of them from the links on the right also. Enjoy.

Prodigal Family

Ever wondered what it might be like to adopt a little girl from China? Check out www.prodigalfamily.com to learn about this family's experience so far. The father of the family is our friends' son. I'm hooked to the touching posts.

We Have Skills, But Not Carpentry Ones

There are several carpenters in our family. Unfortunately, Mr. Rellim and I do not have such skills. Yes, this is how I used duct tape to "fix" the tile in the bathroom. We also have little knowledge about carpentry to pass on to our children. I heard Quinn say something about a "screw and nugget" that fell off his shoe. You see, his PaPa, with carpenter-like skill had repaired Quinn's strap on his Crock by fastening it with a nut and bolt. You gotta admit - both are ingenious, frugal and simple solutions.

I suppose I should learn some more carpenter terms so we won't sound so silly when we talk to the contractor next week about the bathroom work.

$1,000,000,000,000.00

Ever wonder what one trillion dollars looks like in stacks of one hundred dollar bills?

Happy Birthday, Quinn!

Quinn turned eleven years old yesterday! As part of his gift, PaPa came to visit, then whisked him from this "house of torture" [torturous rules, that is (such as putting away clothes, brushing teeth, flushing the toilet, etc.)] to visit with his Grandma Rellim.

Aunt Claire

I remember one Thanksgiving watching my sister's boyfriend eating a large piece of pumpkin pie. Aunt Claire had baked it herself and she sat close by the young man as he kept shoveling it in. I noticed that he kept adding more and more whipped topping to each bite, and continued to smile as Aunt Claire observed. Later, we learned that the pumpkin pie tasted awful! Aunt Claire had forgotten to add the sugar. Indeed, the omission of one ingredient can ruin the entire recipe.

Martin Luther declared, "If I profess with the loudest voice and clearest exposition every portion of the truth of God except precisely that little point which the world and the devil are at that moment attacking, I am not confessing Christ, however boldly I may be professing Christ. Where the battle rages, there the loyalty of the soldier is proved, and to be steady on all the battlefield besides is mere flight and disgrace if he flinches at that point" (The God Who is There, Francis Schaeffer).

Go, Mom!

I promise, you'll be laughing about this in about three years, Mom.

Seriously, I didn't see you come out of the grocery store, so I took another spin around the block. When I passed the grocery store entrance again, you still weren't there, so I drove around a little more. You know, you're somewhat responsible for the little "mishap." I mean, if you hadn't taken off jogging across the parking lot trying to cut me off at the corner, I might have seen you. You're really lucky you didn't drop the milk or crush the large sack of groceries.

How about if we just think of the incident as an unplanned cardio workout? You probably just gave your metabolism a little boost there.

It Started Out Good

We saved $500.00 this year and I was looking forward to paying a little extra on the van loan or maybe planning a road trip for late spring. Alas, while cleaning the tiled wall in the shower, one of the tiles mushed into the wall, revealing a rotting surface. AAAGGGGHHH! Our carpenter neighbor said he could fix it all up good for about $2500.

"That's a pretty nice road trip," I told him.

Hmmm . . . eradicate the bathroom of moldy, rotten green board or take a family vacation away from the whole mess?

(not so) Deep Thought

Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken,
a lifetime commitment for a pig.

Me Too!

"Personally, I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught."

— Sir Winston Churchill

How to Offend Great Britain

In one gift or less . . .

Send a block of 25 movies to the Prime Minister in exchange for a meaningful, priceless artifact. Throw in an old block bust of Churchill while you're at it.

Completely Edible

It's a golden butter cake covered in fondant that I dyed royal blue and it's supposed to resemble a Bakugan. If you aren't familiar with this new toy craze, check out this link. Thanks to Donna F. for allowing me to borrow her Wilton cake pan. I suppose it could have been used to create a soccer ball or half a de ath star.

Question of the Century

"Had he been ill?"

inquired the poorly-attentive youngster following the story of Jesus' dea th and resurrection.

Paul Harvey was Right!

"(W)hen a strict interpretation of the Constitution ... is abandoned, and the theoretical opinions of individuals are allowed to control its meaning, we have no longer a Constitution; we are under the government of individual men, who for the time being have power to declare what the Constitution is, according to their own views of what it ought to mean."

— Supreme Court Justice Benjamin Curtiss, March 6, 1857, dissenting from the Dred Scott ruling that slaves were property

Let Me Help You

My parents were two of the 19 family members who visited with us this weekend in celebration of Quinn's birthday and Rachel's musical performance. They decided to stay at a local bed and breakfast and I offered to drive them in their van since it was getting dark. Actually, I insisted on driving them (because I know my way around town, the college kids were out on a warm evening, etc.).

Their confidence in me wavered as I popped open the hood instead of releasing the emergency brake, then cut into my front yard backing out of the driveway. Thankfully, no family or friends were injured in the making of this blog post.

Opening Night

This is opening night for the BIG BAD MUSICAL. Rachel is portraying Dorothy tonight and Little Miss Muffet tomorrow. Mr. Rellim thinks the costume makes her look like a hooker. I think the costume is more like a progressive Bo Peep.

Red Envelopes

Here's an interesting idea to make a statement in support of life. Can you spare one square (one square stamp, that is)?

Basketball

Quinn played his fifth basketball game of the season. He endured his fifth loss. BUT . . . he did make eight points, sinking a free throw and a three pointer. Encouraged by his example, most players on his team tried to sink their own three-pointers, but failed miserably. And by miserably, I mean missed-the-back-board kind of shot. It's all in good fun, right?

A Great Guy

"In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these."

— Paul Harvey, Sept. 4, 1918 — Feb. 28, 2009

Christian Catch-22

I am a believer who sins. The media calls me a hypocrite. I believe in moral right v. wrong. I'm labeled as judgmental. I share my faith through communicating the gospel. I'm suddenly intolerant.

I'm having a hard time reconciling these perceptions with reality. Perhaps I need a little more love in my life.