New Car

2001 Nissan Sentra GXE with 133K miles for 4 grand. Not bad. I will complain about the massive amounts of dog hair between the seats.

You should have seen the look on the seller's face when Mike told him, "Oh, my wife will stop talking about the dog smell as soon as it starts smelling like pig manure."

I thought the man was going to tear up our check right then on the spot!

One More Time

Bad news. The Camry bit the dust. Well, actually it's eaten the oil we put into it and burned up the engine (or something like that).

My plan? Sell it for parts on ebay.

Mr. Rellim's plan? Drive it to the farm one more time (although the mechanic cautioned him to have someone follow him on the 100-mile trip.), and park it in an old barn where someday he will have the to money to pay to have it restored.

Yeah! I remember an old white "hunting bus" that sat against that old barn for many, many years. I don't know if it finally rusted away or if someone actually towed it to a junkyard.

I likened Mr. Rellim's plan to that old man in Galesburg, Illinois who kept his deceased wife in his basement for about 18 years. Nothing good came from that (except the 18 years of welfare checks!) Anybody remember that?

Here's a New Idea

Did anyone watch Oprah today? There was a pastor interviewed who is sending free bracelets to anyone who will take his challenge. Can you go without complaining or gossiping for 21 days? He says it takes at least 21 days to change a habit and wearing this bracelet will help you to become a more positive, happy person. Go to www.acomplaintfreeworld.org to get yours.

Hillary

Don't click here. Hillary fans are also cautioned.

Orthodontist and Otolaryngologist

I can tell you about the lost retainer now that I've sufficiently cooled. You see, like many young people with a new retainer, Quinn threw his away with his lunch tray (less than 2 weeks after having received it). Unfortunately (for him), he was honest enough to let me know that he realized he had thrown it away "right when I dumped my food into the trash can."

So why didn't he reach in right then and retrieve the device? Because he wanted to be the first one to his room for inside recess. They were playing Pinball Panic on the computer.

I told him that one of the first signs of addiction is when you make poor choices (like leaving your $300.00 retainer on the top of the trash) in order to get a fix (in his case, of a video game).

Well, all that's behind us now, right? We took a trip to the orthodontist this morning and got his brand-new retainer (that should last about 3 months, depending upon how quickly he grows). Doesn't he look awesome?!

Oh! Our next trip will be to the otolaryngologist. His eardrum ruptured (again) last night. I thought maybe after about 18 months of being ear-infection-free we had finally left them behind. . .

In the Vent

Doing a little bit of spring cleaning today, I decided to take up the floor vents, wash and re-paint them. Next, I (shudder) reached my hand down into the vents to clean out dust bunnies. Well, what to my disgusted fingers should materialize, but a piece of Quinn's homework from Kindergarten, Christmas tree needles (We haven't had a real tree in about four years.), popsicle sticks, sucker sticks, a quarter, toys from the toddler days in our home and a bottle cap (that certainly cannot be blamed on the children).

I'm taking a break to build up my nerve to clean out the other twelve vents in the house. Could be a long day . . .

Speaking of Hearing . . .

Quinn handed me a paper on which he earned a perfect score and said, "Here ya go, Mom. Read it and week!"

Well, that's more like speech discrimination, but it is quite entertaining.

Huh?

At a recent art festival at the grade school there was an artist who was using a small blow torch to create beautiful glass beads. I noticed that both he and his daughter were wearing sunglasses , but that the audience was not cautioned in any way. So I asked, "Hey, Dave, how long do we have to watch the flame before we go blind?"

"Huh?" he replied.

Immediately, one of the spectators remarked, "Oh, so you go deaf first . . ."

When a CD is not a CD

I took Quinn to the bank to deposit his birthday money. It's never a particularly easy thing for him to do because he knows he will not see that money until he's in college - and even then, the moment will be fleeting as he hands the cash to the book store cashier.

Today, I noticed a sign at the bank for a 6-month CD and seized the opportunity to teach my son about interest. Quinn and I sat with the bank man, who explained how a CD works, we transferred money from his savings account, then signed papers in triplicate.

Obviously, Quinn did not understand entirely because as the bank man stood up, Quinn inquired loudly, "HEY! Where's my CD?! Give me back my money! You said I was going to buy a CD! This is just a letter in an envelope!"

I felt a strange feeling as if I had landed right in the middle of a Mary Poppins video, but was able to calm the child long enough to get him in the car.

We Were Walking Along

when out of nowhere comes a well-groomed neighborhood dog, barking with all his might and charging at us while we were . . . well . . . walking along. I greeted the pooch with a "hide-ho Bailey!" Mr. Rellim on the other hand, decides to charge back with arms spread wide as if he were trying to fly, and making animal sounds like I've never heard in my life!

Poor Bailey made a high-pitched squealing noise as she retreated toward her . . . OWNER (who was watching the entire scene)!!

I wanted to sink into the pavement. Not Mr. Rellim. He said hello to the dog's owner and said something like, "Not much of an attack dog, is she?"

Happy Birthday, Quinn!

Pizza, cousins, cake and fun, triplets rolling & lots of love!

While Mom's Away . . .

. . . Uncle Mike will feed me lots of chocolate cake!
. . . PaPa Wayne will let me walk on the roof!

Quinn celebrated his ninth birthday amidst these family dynamics and many more.

Meddlin' Mama

I hired out Quinn to a neighbor. He was offered a job to pick up sticks in the yard for two bucks. I told him he should go. Anything's better than watching TV all afternoon, right? Well, that wasn't his opinion. After hanging up the phone (thankfully), he yelled, "Mom! When are you going to stop meddling in my life?!"

(Hmmm....."meddling." Nice verb.)

I have his response right here:

NEVER!! Mothers never stop meddling in their children's lives - not as long as they are making their suppers and tying their shoes and making their beds and combing their hair and folding their clothes. Not as long as they are driving them to basketball practice and taking them on playdates and buying them ice cream and dragging them to church. Not even when their kids are grown with children of their own. Not even after they die. How's that, you ask? Because even when I die, you will be saying these exact same things to your children (if there is such a thing as karma) and remembering that I said them to you in the self-same way on a day so long ago.

Acronyms

1981 was definitely less confusing. This morning I had to get on my PC to request an NPI, then register my NPI with DHS and CBO. I had to make sure I had my license number from IDPR as an SLP, which I could not obtain without my CCCs. Then I had to give either my FEIN or SSN for billing purposes with CFC for work as an EI provider. Somehow, this NPI is supposed to supersede or universalize billing by eliminating the need for the other identifying numbers. Hopefully this will all work out. As long as my NPI doesn't begin with "666" I'll be OK.

Shamrock

I was reviewing the meaning of St. Patrick's Day and possible things a shamrock might represent (the green of Ireland, the Trinity, good luck, etc). At the end of the lesson I asked the class, "What can you tell me about St. Patrick's Day? A third grader raised her hand and said, "If you have a shamrock you'll GET LUCKY!!"

Triplets at Six Months

Looks like Holden has outgrown his personalized onesie. But doesn't this picture make it look like it's all happy all the time? Hayden is even giving his first "thumbs up" signal.

Hillary and Barack

Did anyone hear the speeches they gave while they were in Alabama? How about Hillary's attempt at a southern drawl? And Barack's use of "ya'll" while he tried to use a preacher-like rhythm and rhyme?

GIVE ME A BREAK!

I know about code-switching, but this is too much. How can we get a feel for who you are, when you aren't even speaking naturally?

More Fun with Language

This conversation starter happened when my daughter was only two . . .

Rachel: (Holding up fingertip of wax from her ear) What's this?!
Me: Wax.
Rachel: Is there a whack in my other ear too?

This is some syntactic skill along the language acquisition continuum that kids learn regarding the creation of plurals. Can any of my SLP buddies help me out on this one?

Cars

Kickin' back with my nephew, Owen, and watching the Cars video for the first time. Rachel and I made the trip in good time despite patchy snow and much wind . . . and despite a shouting match that left me light-headed.

What was the fight about? Which contemporary Christian music CD to play. What Would Jesus Play?

The Good Ol' Days

I'm longing for them. Remember? When the kids that drove you nuts could be caught? Possibly reasoned with? Or my favorite - hung upside down for a while? My sister and her husband had this Christmas picture taken to capture this memory, I'm sure.

We are only at eleven years here, and already I'm wondering how I'm going to survive adolescence (HA! I almost typed adolescents! Not that they stink or anything. . .).