Attentiveness

Quinn said he sat at lunch with someone new, but he couldn't remember her name.  What did he remember?  She has scoliosis, small handwriting and big eyes.

Further into the dinner conversation, I asked Rachel if all Juniors would be taking the ACT soon.  Quinn remarked, "Rachel is a Junior?"

Overheard in the Backseat

Rachel:  When did I stop eating meat?
Mike:  What?
Rachel:  When did I stop eating meat?
Mike:  What?  When did you stop being mean??
Me:  (after much laughter)  You were about six years old.
Mike:  What?

Detention

Quinn served a detention after school today for breaking the rule about cell phone use during class.  He insists that he was just checking the time, but I'm pretty sure the high school still has funding for clocks - even though much of the student body doesn't really know how to tell time unless the reading is digital.

Funny thing is, he didn't know what to expect (based on his subtle questioning last night).  So, to ease his fears, I told him to keep his wand handy and not to submit to writing lines with any "special" ink pen.  He didn't think that was funny.

Bling

Mrs. Bickerson, why didn't you stop me?!  I couldn't help myself and had to choose a selection from the "Water Library" in our room at Trump Towers.  Bling Water H2O.  Seriously?

I told myself that it would be a special gift for Rachel for her birthday next month.  But how does one drink a twenny-five dolla bottle of water?  Slowly, of course, but with shot glasses or what?  I suppose I rationalized this expense since I did not eat the $45 hamburger for lunch.  And I ate leftover pizza for breakfast instead of the $27 pancakes.

What a fun time we had!!  Thanks for the invite, Whitney.

Another Trump Thought

This is a suggestion for Sarah Palin, in case she ever reads this blog.

If you have another child, may I suggest the name Trump?  Goes along nicely with Track and Tripp and Trigg.

Trump

I just got home from a night in Chicago with a girlfriend from graduate school.  Her brother paid for a room at the Trump Hotel.  Thanks, Bro!  Anyhoo - I'm testing my theory that the white Trump slippers are complimentary.

So many amenities, so little time.  There was even a Pillow Menu.  You called the "attache" on the phone and ordered the type of pillow (scented, down, feather, synthetic, etc) you desired for the night.  "Free" shoe shine service.  Twenty-four hour concierge.  I wish Will Ferrell's Elf had been in the room with us.  He would have really had a good time.

One of the services included having breakfast made for you in your room and then being served to you while you lounged.  Only $500.00 per couple.  We politely declined.  But we did accept the card that entitled us to priority seating and free bread sticks at Gino's East.  I felt sorta badly for the commoners who had been waiting in line outside in the cold.  But when you are staying with the Donald, there are privileges.

As If

As if there aren't enough "That's what she said!" jokes in this world . . .  But this one is too funny to keep to myself.

Mr. Rellim was enjoying a brownie with pecans.  Quinn is allergic to tree nuts.  A heated discussion began in which Quinn spoke to his father in a very tense tone of voice and in close proximity to his face.  Mr. Rellim shouted, "Back off!  Can't you see I have nuts in my mouth?!"

Tacky

I was reading Tacky the Penguin to a group of Kindergarteners:

I really like Tacky.  He's an odd bird, but a very nice bird to have around.  He wears Hawaiian shirts, eats his fish on bread, does splashy cannonballs and sings dreadfully.  While other penguins sing sweet songs like "Sunrise on the Iceberg," Tacky likes to sing songs like "How many toes does a fish have?  How many wings on a cow?"

Suddenly, from the small chair at my left came the sweetest little voice answering in song, "Twwwooooo!"

Perspective

For Mr. Rellim's birthday, my mom created a candy bar bouquet by using packing tape to secure candy bars to wooden shish-ka-bob skewers.  By the end of the meal, Quinn had eaten one of the candy bars and was playing with the skewer.  My mom (obviously thinking about something she would like to dislodge from between her teeth) asked, "Oh!  Where did you get that toothpick?" 

We all laughed a hearty laugh as she realized her mistake.  I guess you had to be there.  And maybe this story could go along with the scripture about removing the log in one's eye.  Or maybe not.

New Rules

1.  I learned that students in area school districts will no longer be sent home if they have lice.  Even if there is an active infestation of lice.  Instead, the parent will be called and informed that their child has lice and encouraged to treat the head lice.  What jenious sighentist administrators came up with this new policy?

2.  It is now against school policy to include a child's name in any email.  And I learned that administration does not think it's funny to change Johnny's Name to Nonny Jame or Onn-jay Ame-nay or ynnhoj eman.  Oh!  And it's also not OK to call him by any name that rhymes.  or any defining emotional, educational or physical descriptors.  Students may only be referred to by their initials in emails.  (J.N.)   Does no one have a sense of humor?

3.  So . . .  don't be surprised when Jamie Nice's mother is inadvertantly called and informed that her child has head lice.

Honesty

In the elementary school building where I work, we have a Virtue Word of the Week.  At least we used to have them.  I think someone figured out that the virtues are actually moral characteristics that one should aspire to acquire and that their basis is found in the Bible.  Now we have Virtue Words that aren't officially talked about.

Anyway, I was in a Kindergarten classroom today and having a difficult time keeping the kids' attention.  They were squirming and talking instead of fully participating with my activity.  As I prepared to leave, the teacher told the students that she was disappointed in their listening behavior.  One of the cutest, loudest, squirmiest little boys shouted, "Like me!  I wasn't listening or paying attention!"

Who said virtues are a thing of the past?

Irony

And I guess that's why they call it the blues.

One more payment and it's mine.

It was raining when I picked up Momma from jail in my truck.

It was the best of times.  It was the worst of times.

Squirrel!! (from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation)

None of the above really fits, so I guess I'll have to make up a country song.  The song will be about getting a Christmas bonus, using it to pay off the loan on Rachel's truck, then towing the truck to the salvage yard two days later.  It will be about lessons learned - like wearing winter coats in the winter and keeping a cell phone with you and not running home in the dark on slippery roads while wearing flip-flops without a winter coat.

The chorus will go something like this:
And since nobody's dead, it's all kinda funny.
 

Overheard

Quinn:  I'm not going and you can't make me!

Rachel:  Quinn, It's useless to struggle.  Just get in the truck.  You need to pick your battles.

Quinn:  I pick this one!!!!!!

Risky Business

Usually it's something I say that I imagine could put me on the naughty list at school.  Today it's what I'm wearing.  Jeggings.  I'm twenty years too old for them.  But I'm wearing a long jacket to hide my assets and have had enough caffeine to bolster my courage.  Maybe, maybe I'll post a picture of this later.  Must get high school daughter's opinion before stepping out of the house.

Resolution

I haven't made a New Year's Resolution - yet.  Maybe I'll embrace this one.