Hair

Quinn's at it again. His hair is officially two inches high. A relative asset for his basketball team, I suppose.

About Socks

Will one extra sock really make a difference in my pile of laundry? Will the possibility of re-washing a clean sock really bother me?

No and no.

So why did I just pick up that sock from the floor and (ACK!) smell it? Why did I just submit my nose to the odoriferous sweaty sock?

I don't know.

But I do have a new personal rule: Stray socks go immediately to the laundry room without passing GO, without collecting $200 and without having to pass a sniff test. Confirmation of sock stewardship will occur at a later time.

Should I?

I'm considering writing a letter to our new Governor, stating that I have never been solicited for campaign funds by Blago, nor have I ever voted for him - just in case there will be an open Senate seat for Illinois in the near future. Seems like our political leaders change as often as the weather here. What's the story in Minnesota?

All the Money in the World

All the US currency currently in existence in the world, could not fund the pork product passed by the present Congress. Watch this quick video for a visual.

HSM III

I watched it again tonight. AWESOME! I might have to buy it!

One Million Every Day

A friend of mine uses the term economic "STINKulus" package when talking about the new spending plan from Capital Hill. I heard a Republican Congressman from Texas on TV last night who stated that much of the money in this plan is not scheduled to be spent until after 2010. If I'm not mistaken, there should be an election that year and this same Congressman said if the Republicans gain some seats, they would rescind the bill, halting further porky stimuLESS spending. Did you know that in order to spend 800 billion dollars, you would have to spend 1 million dollars a day for 2000 years? That's what this video states.

Numbers

33 - workouts I've had at Curves since December 29, 2008
234 - calories I burned during today's workout
0 - pounds I've lost since beginning this workout routine
110 - My heart rate when I ponder the injustice of it all
$3.19 - The cost of a 1/2 pint of Ben & Jerry's Americone Dream

In Less Than Two Minutes

I was working with a group of Kindergarteners today and wondered if it was a full moon. In less than two minutes, I observed the following:
1. "Billy" picked up his backpack, swung in around and hit himself in the privates.
2. Not to be ignored, "Billy" announced loudly, "Hey! Ow! I just hit my privates with my bookbag!"
3. "Henry," twisting around to catch the privates-bashing incident, walked into a door frame. (I ignored them both)
4. "Jimmy," sitting quietly, raised his hand and asked if he could ask "Johnny" a question. (I gave him permission to do so.)
5. "Jimmy" asked, "Hey, Johnny, what's your dog's name?" (Not sure what that had to do with my activity . . .)
6. "Johnny" answered with a word that was unintelligible and the entire group laughed heartily.

Happiness must peak at age five. Seriously.

When She is Rich

When Rachel is rich, she will have the money to hire someone to follow her around and pick things up when she leaves them somewhere. I noticed that someone left the freezer door open all day. Glad it's cold outside. Rachel used my makeup yesterday because she couldn't find hers. I looked in her room and couldn't even find the floor in her room. I only knew it was there because I was walking across it. I found her long lost tennis shoes under the kitchen table, her yearbook order form crumpled in a wad near the computer desk and a hairbrush on her bed. She forgot to finish her homework last night, but did manage to create a modest-sized puppet out of brown paper bags and puffy paint. I found it on my nightstand when I went to bed.

But I love my absent-minded professor!

What the Heck

I just applied to the local university's graduate college a few hours ago. It was sort of on a whim. I was just looking at the site for a Master's in Educational Administration and the application was online, and the fee was only $30, and they accepted my Visa card.

My son is peeved. He thinks if I sign up for college classes that I will have to move out and live in the dorms or something. He shouted to his father, "Dad! Dad! Mom just applicated to a college! Doesn't she know we need her?! Why is she trying to abandon us?! I'm going to find that website and UN-applicate her!!"

A few minutes later, upon gaining (relative) composure, Quinn drummed his fingers together and contemplated, "Well . . . if you are in college, then WE WILL BE HOME ALONE! YES!!"

Hunger Pains

9:24 pm: Mom, I can't sleep. I'm too hungry.

7:03 am: Mom, I can't eat. I'm too tired.

Bold Fresh

Whether or not you like the guy, this book is a great read. In it, O'Reilly takes you for a ride down (his) memory lane and spins (pun intended) some great tales from his life. These stories help the reader to understand how his character, worldview and life mission were formed.

His mission, by the way, is to expose villains and protect the "folks." He shared several laugh-out-loud adventures. Really - you should check it out.

Mr. Clean

I can't believe it! These Magic Erasers really did "erase" the soap scum from my bathtub. Not even Soft Scrub with bleach did it very well.

I'll let you know if there are any strange residue issues.

Quoth the Librarian

to the knucklehead ahead of us in line, who continued with a barrage of annoying questions, including "Why don't you just write on the front of my library card? Why is this taking so long? Did you know there's a long line waiting for you?":

"I'm printing the front of your new library card on this rare typewriter technology, however, since you are concerned about those behind you in line, I'll serve them first."

Score. We were full of smiles and giggles during the entire situation.

Vocabulary

I've learned a few new words this week. Can't wait to try them out. I admonish you to learn a few.

Blooter: (Noun) A babbler, a bumbling idiot, a fool.

Popinjay: A vain or conceited person, one given to pretentious displays. (I don't think this has anything to do with post-holiday light displays.)

Bloviate: To discourse at length in a pompous or boastful manner

Passive-Aggressive

So we still have one strand of Christmas lights on our mailbox. So they shine from 4:30-6:30 pm. So they are directly in line with our neighbor's kitchen window. So this neighbor is completely compulsive about everything. So what? I've been too busy to take them down because I've been trying to figure out how to remove the broken basketball hoop from the side yard.

The Prodigal God

Prodigal means "recklessly spendthrift" - giving or spending all you have without inhibition. So here are the Cliff Notes:

We all know the story of the Prodigal Son:
1) Younger son boldly requests his inheritance then mindlessly spends it all.
2) Father grants the odd request in the first place, then lovingly forgives this son and pours out his love to him upon the younger son's repentant return.
3) Older son has been spending his time and energy obeying and doing his father's work and is upset at his father's loving reaction to the younger brother's return.

According to Timothy Keller, this parable is teaching more than forgiveness and repentance. Are any of these characters spending time or talents wisely? Which do you most identify with?

2:04 p.m.

At exactly 2:04 p.m. central standard time, this young lady became a teenager. Let the jello-nailing begin! Happy birthday, Rachel! We love you!

Be Safe

"The safest road to hell is the gradual one — the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts."

— C. S. Lewis, author

Speaking of unpleasantness, my son reported that he has been counting how many times he passes gas in a day. He heard that the average number is fifteen. WHERE did he hear that? Is there an average?

Checked

I'm not sure if Mr. Rellim is pulling my leg or not, but when he called from Indy this afternoon, he was proud of himself for having over two hours to spare before his flight departure and also seemed pleased to have no carry-on luggage. "What do you mean?" said the lonely wife, wondering how he was carrying his car keys, pain medicine, etc.

"Checked." said Mr. Rellim.

I guess he does not remember the tour of The Unclaimed Baggage Center in Scottsboro, Alabama in 2006. As much as I love to say it, I really, really hope I won't have to say "I TOLD YOU SO!"

Doritos

Doritos wins (so far) for my favorite super bowl commercial.

Throttle Position Sensor

I'm told this is what my van needs. I wonder how much labor is involved in replacing this $32 part?