to the knucklehead ahead of us in line, who continued with a barrage of annoying questions, including "Why don't you just write on the front of my library card? Why is this taking so long? Did you know there's a long line waiting for you?":
"I'm printing the front of your new library card on this rare typewriter technology, however, since you are concerned about those behind you in line, I'll serve them first."
Score. We were full of smiles and giggles during the entire situation.
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