Guesstures

Every played it? It's kind of like charades. The rules clearly state that no words or sound effects may be used to assist the "guessers" in guessing your gesture. However, at our house it's permissible for some to whisper, "I'm skiing. I'm skiing" while pretending to ski around the living room. It's not OK for me to fingerspell a word.

Overture for Moms

Even if you are not a mom, you have probably had a mom, so you should listen to Anita Renfroe's song.

Family Time

Thanksgiving is only two weeks away and I've decided to start preparing for conversation over turkey and dressing by doing some reading. One book for each side of the family.

Mr. Rellim tells me that I enjoy intentionally provoking others.

Not really.

Only sorta.

Basketball

Rachel had a great game tonight. She stole passes, grabbed rebounds, made a few baskets and was stylishly aggressive. She also made the crowd laugh as one shot landed - and stuck- in the crossbars above the board. Wow! There was quite an arch on that ball.

Sixth Grade

Rachel told me that she enjoys her sixth grade friends, but is annoyed by how easily distracted they are and their lack of serious participation in small group discussions.

When I was in sixth grade, I was just trying to get the high score on PacMan at the local pizza palace arcade and wondering when I was going to need a bra.

New Restaurant

I read about a new restaurant at a nearby Abraham Lincoln attraction. I'm troubled by its motto -
"Finger Lincoln Good."

Sad but true.

Q-Tips

Q-tips and toilets do not mix. In case you didn't already know, a Q-tip, paired with other Q-tip buddies, will form a pseudo-screen in the s-curve of your toilet, preventing solids from passing freely. And believe me - we have some serious solids needing to pass!!

Mr. Rellim is looking forward to using his newest Ace Hardware purchase in a few short moments - the Toilet Snake. The children are disappointed. They thought he was heading out to buy a reptile. Not so.

Another Use for Duct Tape

I heard a speaker today who suggested a mouth-sized length of duct tape if you have a tendency toward anxious chatter during emotional crises. Hmmm. . . I'd never really thought of saying NOTHING during an emotional crisis. You?

Hell - The Place

J.P. Moreland says it's not a place of torture, but that it is really a place that demonstrates God's love for the intrinsic value of each individual by allowing everyone to have free choice to accept or reject Him. Never heard it put that way before. (That doesn't mean it will be a fun place to be, however.)

Happy Tossmas

I'm really not into the politically correct facade.
Neither is this guy.

Phantom of the Opera

Some homes were graced with a short, modified rendition of the musical's title track during trick or treat hours!

"The Phantom of the Opera is here!"

Public Service Announcement

From a friendly first-grade witch on Halloween night: You know, your mom should inspect your candy before you eat it because some drunk people make poison candy at the bars just to give to kids like us!

Red Ribbon Week

Not sure who named the event, but it's all about educating our school-age students about the hazards of illegal drug use. Rachel told me about an interesting assignment she received today. Her "drug awareness person" instructed her class to google a specific illegal substance and report back on its side effects and common names.

She told us she is to tell her class about "MaryJo."

Pumpkin Patch

See how the gourds and pumpkins are walking two-by-two into the ark? I thought it was almost as funny as the overalls Rachel stuffed with ears of corn from the maze.

1969 Dodge Charger

I wonder why my parents still have this car. It has taken up half of the garage space for about thirty years, but it does go fast.

First Fall Fire

Quinn's Conference

His teacher spoke at length about his trouble listening in class and tendency to speak out of turn. I reminded her again about his four ear surgeries and auditory discrimination difficulties and how important it is to make sure he is looking at her when she speaks to him.

Then she gave me his fourth grade report card with straight "A"s. Above, the boy is pictured proudly wearing his "Straight A's" ribbon.

Hmmm . . .

Misunderestimated

I meant to ask Rachel's teacher if a particular student in class reacted negatively to Rachel's comment. What I actually said was, "When Rachel said that, did he bite?"

The teacher immediately gave me a shocked expression and said, "What?! Did he bite her?!"

I laughed.

Use for Duct Tape #7,298

Quinn and Mike are portraying David and Goliath for the educational entertainment of the preschool Sunday school class in a couple weeks. Quinn decided to create three Goliath-sized rocks from - you guess it - duct tape. I've watched them practice. It looks like it hurts to take one of those things in the head.

Nazareth

Nazareth is the name of the comedian who entertained us tonight at church. We sat in the front row and quickly learned that part of his routine depended on audience participation. He learned I am a speech path, so whenever he crossed to my side of the stage, he stood up straight and spoke slowly and clearly. He asked many people about their professions - including Mike.

Mike looked at me before answering, "I am in sales." Nazareth pressed on, "What do you sell?" Mike looked at me again, then answered, "Agricultural products." Nazareth chided him for needing my permission to speak, when Quinn suddenly shouted, "Pig semen! My dad sells pig semen!" The crowd exploded in laughter as Nazareth said, "Oh! Well, at least someone in the family knows what you do!"

It was then obvious that this Christian comedian could think of no "clean" way to make fun of pig semen sales. Nazareth proceeded to walk in a circle around the stage, commenting on random items while the crowd continued to roar. Next to me sat Quinn who kept asking what was so funny.

If you ever have the chance, go see this man!

Abstinence

I held a very one-sided conversation with Rachel the other day about abstinence, STDs and the statistical effectiveness of c o n d o m s. I think I said it all in about three breaths. Mike was sitting next to her reading the newspaper held high enough to cover his face. I don't think he was breathing at all.

When it was all over, Rachel asked, "Mom, what exactly are condos?"

I told her they were places to live - similar to apartments.

With a quizzical look, again she asked. I hedged, then said, "You don't have to know what they are! You just have to know what I said. It will make sense to you in a couple of years!"

Misbehavin'

While I was outside picking up sticks, my kids were inside stealth-watching The Simpsons. When I punished them by taking away all screen time for the rest of the evening, I was met with an angry threat, "You better give it back or else!"

Or else what?! Or else you won't pick up your bike from the middle of the street? Or else you won't put away the pile of clean clothes overflowing in your room?

Personification

Personification has been a difficult homework subject around here. Rachel was able to write sentences personifying frogs, hats and skateboards without difficulty. But she was stumped by "martian insect."

Rachel: "What the heck does a martian insect do, anyway?!"
Me: "Whatever it wants to do."
Rachel: "Then I can't write a sentence personifying the thing because if it really CAN do it, then that's not a personification!"
Me: "No one is going to be thinking that hard about it."

Not to be dissuaded, Rachel wrote a lengthy explanation to her teacher as to why the assignment cannot be completed.

Math

My poor math skills were highlighted in a previous post, reminding me of the fourth quarter of my senior math class. I think it was a mixture of trig, calculus and "imaginary number" equations that took my self-esteem in a nosedive into the depths of hell.

My parents reminded me of this during our last visit. I'm not sure why they keep bringing it up. Maybe they think my life is just too darn happy. I should cover by creating some more depressing posts.

Ah, Victory!

We were indeed the winners of the flimsy plastic bag stuffing contest! We were notified by phone that we should, "come in anytime to pick up [our] prize."

Frugality

I took my downtown Chicago sister to a favorite downstate thrift store Saturday. The "special" that day was the chance to fill a flimsy plastic bag with an unlimited number of items for $10. There were restrictions, of course - no tearing, stretching, breaking or exploding the bag. After the satisfying shopping experience, the clerk counted each item stuffed in the bag and congratulated us because we were the leaders so far that day for the most items in one bag.

Although I'm not sure what the winner will receive, I couldn't resist shouting to the other customers on the way out the door, "So long, losers!"

Let's see . . . 52 items for $10 = 5.2 cents per item. I've got Christmas whipped!

Math for Dummies update: Ten dollars divided by 52 is about 19 cents. Now I feel ripped off.

Priority?

We were expecting some friends tonight, so I was busy making pumpkin bars, picking up the house and making sure there was toilet paper in each bathroom. You know - the necessities. As I'm wondering where Mike could be, I hear this scraping sound on the roof. Disbelief mounting, I look out the front door and sure enough - there is the ladder. Mike was on the roof sweeping the leaves from the gutters. You know - the necessities of having guests.

Men ARE from Mars.

Oops!

I did it again. The last time I set my own hair on fire was while demonstrating fire safety tips to my children and nephews. This time was not so exciting. I guess I leaned over the grill too closely.

I suppose that multi-tasking is not a good thing when one task involves flammable items. It's a good thing I have a blog to track these lessons.

UPDATE: I only lost a couple hairs out of the deal. No worries. The sizzling sound and putrid smell were the worst of it.

No Picture Required

We Rellims learned a handy tip this evening. Back hair is not easily removed using packing tape. What amazed me most was the fairly willing participant tolerating the swarm of packing tape action.

Living History

We took the kids to this place to learn about life in the 1840s. Here you see Quinn having a grand ol' time playing a game with sticks and a ring. Whose idea was it to invent the Gameboy, anyway?

P.S. True confession time - as we pulled into the pasture to park the van, the people in the car next to us decided to open their doors and hold a family meeting, trapping me inside my vehicle. Forgetting my window was partially open I said to no one in particular (in a medium-loud voice), "What?! Do they think I'm not getting out today?"

Yeah, I'm pretty glad we haven't put that fish sticker on the car yet.

Overachievers

What's a surprise birthday party without a pick-up game of "Name That Tune" using party favors? These two are showing off the no-hands version of the game. Very complicated, yet highly entertaining.

Baby Doll Dress

Linguisystems

How do I love thee? Let me count the number of CEUs I earned for FREE on your continuing education website just last night.

Eight.

Fine Print

I was trying to read the instructions on the packaging of my new reading glasses that I picked up at CVS pharmacy. The instructions explained how to remove the packaging from the glasses. But I couldn't read the fine print without the glasses. And I couldn't see the instructions while wearing the glasses.

Hot Sauce

Mike has been working a lot lately, but that's a good thing. It means more business for the piggies.

Anyway, since he missed supper again, the kids and I were a little bored, so we found ourselves involved in a hot sauce eating contest. I was running a close second as the kids were both tied for first.

Genius struck as I picked up the bottle and shook it into my mouth to finish the game and earn the championship.

It's the little joys in life that make it worth all the hassle.

Cafe de Canciones

That was the title of the musical/drama performed in church this morning. I don't really remember the moral of the story, but I loved the part when the singing waiter suggested (to the tune of the James Bond "Live and Let Die") the customers order - "CHICKEN POT PIE!"

Rachel said the waiter should have sung "Eat it! Just Eat it!" to the Michael Jackson classic. If only he had been wearing a single glove . . . But then again, it was church.

I Heard Myself Say It

"Get that popcorn out of your belly button!"

Happy Fall, Y'all!

One of my favorite pictures of Rachel. I think she was about four years old.

Quinn and Felix

For one brief moment in 2000 - a cat whisperer.

SYATP

Yesterday was the official "See You At The Pole" rally around America. Teachers, students and parents were invited to meet at the flag pole of their school for a time of prayer. When I dropped off my kids at school, there were about 20 people around the flag pole.

When I drove up to my school in the next town, there were about 200 kids around the pole. I was astounded. Then I drove around to the back parking lot and noticed another 200 kids out there.

It was then I realized the fire alarm had been pulled.

Choose Words Wisely

That's what my friend's husband learned this weekend after he performed his first wedding ceremony. Upon returning home he told his kids, "Guess what? Daddy just married two people tonight." His six year old son replied, "Cool! You mean I have two step-moms now? Where will we keep them?"

True story.

Animal Lover

We drove by a very large home of Quinn's classmate. Rachel asked what his parents did for a living to afford such a big house. I told them that his mother was an adoption attorney. Quinn asked, "For kids or cats?"

Hmmm . . . maybe I'll call her about placing the EIGHT baby rabbits. We're getting to a critical period now between the time when the bunnies are weaned and when the bunnies can begin making more bunnies.

Fourth Grade Follies

Now!? Now he chooses to give us a lip-only smile?! Now that the braces are off and his teeth look beautiful?! Quinn told us that he tried to smile really big but the photographer asked him to "stop making that face." Hahahahaha!

His teacher sent home a note last week letting us know that he talks quite a bit during class. I wrote back to let her know that I took him to speech-language therapy for four years to perfect that skill.

Sixth Grade Smile

Rachel was happy that the photographer captured the Puma logo on her shirt. Band is going well and she tried out for basketball today. She told me that she is the fourth tallest in her class. I thought, "Wow!" Mike said, "Don't worry. Some of those young ladies are done growing. You'll be the tallest next year."

Rabbitsitting

Quinn was in charge of keeping eight rabbits in this rubbermaid container while Rachel cleaned the cage. As you can see, the container is muy shallow. I couldn't help videotaping some of it because it reminded me of that arcade game "Whack-a-Mole!" (well . . . minus the club). Some day when I learn how to upload video segments, I'll post the event.

Carson & Austin

My nephew, Carson will be three in a couple days. He's the high inquisitor regarding badminton technique. His big brother, Austin and his buddy are pictured above on their first day of Kindergarten. Later that week, Austin was able to look at a short note from his teacher and "read" it to his mom. Austin commented to me, "Hey! Aunt Marcie! Guess What?! I can read -- FINALLY!

Kelly's Baby

My youngest sister, Kelly is having her third child. She says it's a boy based on an ultrasound performed yesterday. Mike says it was probably the umbilical cord she saw. Grandma says the "watchamacalit" doesn't even grow until the last week of pregnancy.

Although I can confidently say that yes, indeed the "watchamacalit" would be formed by four months gestation, I cannot be certain of the ultrasound technician's ability to discriminate between it and the cord.

Therefore, to play it safe, Kelly, I suggest you either choose both a girl and a boy name, or find a name that is gender neutral. For example: Kelly, Jodie, Jamie, Lauren, Logan, Leigh, Laine, Pat, Taylor or Morgan.

I'm voting "Lincoln" for a boy and "Jillian" for a girl.

Four weeks old

Eight baby rabbits are four weeks old. They will be available in two more weeks. We cannot guarantee the gender of any animal, but I'm certain of the color.

NIH (pause) NOT!!

I've read some research lately with such flawed methodology and confounding factors that I can't even believe they were published. This ranks right up there with them.

Jodie

Marcie, Jodie and Grandma Ann 1972

Look how cute you were 35 years ago!! Seems like I was dressed in my snazzy pants for the occasion of your arrival.

I remember an evening about 20 years ago when you called me from a friend's house to pick you up. Unknown to you and your friend, I had Dad as a stowaway in the hatchback of the 1981 Mazda GLC. After picking up the two of you, we started down the road when suddenly Dad reached over the back seat and grabbed you by the shoulders. I'm not sure which was louder - your screams or my peals of laughter.

Uh, sorry about that by the way. Do you remember which friend that was or if she ever visited with us again?

Let it be Written

“Let this be written for a future generation,
that a people not yet created may praise the LORD …” Psalm 102:18 (NIV)

Do you think of The Rellim Family Blogspot when you read that scripture? I don't. Maybe I should tweak the focus a bit. What a charge!

I'll tweak the focus after I scrub the kitchen floor. One of the Rellim not-so-young-sters decided to dump his scoop of ice cream out of his dish and smoosh it onto my newly-mopped floor instead of putting it back in the freezer like I asked. His demonstration of defiance will not win my praise today.

Why I'll be Fired

Mr. Rellim cringes when he asks about my day and I start out with, "Just so you know why I'll be fired . . ."

Today it's because I gave some advice to two fifth graders who stutter.

I asked how their weeks have been going and one reported that she is being teased by someone who says, "Why do you stu-stu-stu-stutter?"

I told her to ask him, "Why are you so uh-uh-uh-ugly?"

I'm pretty sure this counseling tip is not on the website at the Stuttering Foundation of America.
However, I believe it to be a better idea than Wendell's.

Up a stream

This is Quinn pulling his friends who got tired of paddling. Quinn decided it would be easier to pull them to shore than try to coordinate a shared effort.

What an appropriate metaphor for my day.

Some would disagree with the choice to jump in and keep the boat moving, but neither one of us likes to float about aimlessly. You go, boy!

Oh Happy Day!

My Norton Antivirus has been updated AND I'm still able to post pictures on by blog!

This is last year's back-to-school picture. Funny thing is that I inadvertantly wore the same blouse and necklace for this year's picture.

Excellent (pause) (not!)

Those of you who've suffered through the film "Borat" will appreciate the title.

Lisa and I get to visit in person only once a year and this is the only picture we have for 2007. We look awful! I know one of us had been sick the day before and the other has no excuse. Here's to a better photo op in 2008!

Grandma Ann

Move over, Marilyn Monroe!

Rabbits

And I'll name this one Winky. Seriously, does anyone want a pet rabbit? We can't eat all of eight of them . . .

Good Times

Old friends, late night, good times!

First Day of School 2007

Sixth grade and fourth grade, here they come!

PICTURES!!

For whatever reason, my computer has allowed me to post pictures tonight for the first time in about four months. HOORAY! Unfortunately, I have to update my Norton Antivirus tomorrow and who knows what might happen. Where's Mr. Bickerson when you need him?

I'll try to link some photos to previous posts just for fun. Wish me luck!

Hammock

Rachel still cannot understand why I had this hammock in the trash. The best part of the story is how she used it for about four days this week before her father finally confiscated it!

Sixth Grade Chorus Practice

Rachel told me that her chorus teacher instructed them to work on their "dictation and pronounciation."

I let Rachel know that the correct terms are "diction" and "pronunciation."

Those words are a bit easier to pronounciate anyway.

PS: This is a picture of the Rellim Family cousins taken in June

Ignoramulus

Quinn's new label for anyone who annoys him. It's pronounced "ig - no- ram- you- lus."

Poor Man's Patio

That's what we call our summer garage make-over that gives us some outdoor activity space.

Anyhoo - tonight we ate supper out there. Rachel ran back into the house to get some (what else?) parmesan cheese. When she returned about 45 seconds later, she was sobbing and holding an ice pack (well, more like a pack of frozen raspberries) on her shoulder.

Mike asked her what the heck happened.

Her response? "I stubbed my toe so hard it made my shoulder hurt!"

Sports

Two nephews visited today and we taught them the fine art of badminton. The nearly three-year-old asked me, "Why you have chicken? Me play tennis!"

Translation: Why are you playing tennis with a birdie?

Life Lessons

My friend's daughter's friend (got that?) asked her, "Ms. Mary, what is a 'personal lubricant?'" My friend, completely caught off-guard, replied something like, "Umm . . . it's stuff you put on stuff so things will work better."

I hope to be present for the round of follow-up questions.

William Butler Yeats

I heard a partial quote today from a lengthy poem of his:

" . . .A time when the best of men are without conviction, and the worst are full of passionate intensity. . . ."

Call Arnold Schwarzenegger's office today to voice your concern about the many "anti-discrimination" bills sitting on his desk. 916.445.2841 One includes the right for HIV positive men to be sperm donors.

Oh! You'll have to press "1" to hear the message in English.

School Lunch

We've had some trouble with school lunch. For starters, the prices are only posted at the end of the line at the cash register (in tiny print) after the students have loaded their trays with food. My kids pay with a debit card system, so their lunches are always "free" they tell me. We are working on budgeting and allowing only two ala carte items per week.

Today, Quinn told me he bought something off the "olive cart" and it was yummy.

I didn't even know he liked olives.

Campaigning

Quinn: Here is the paper about voting.

Me: This is about running for class representative for the student council at your school. You know, you might be a good candidate.

Quinn: What do you do?

Me: Well, you go to meetings twice a month and talk about ways to improve the school. For example, you might want to increase the variety of fruit juices offered in the cafeteria or something like that.

Quinn: No thanks. I like the apple juice. I don't think I want to be voted for.

Meetings

I participated in a meeting today where we talked about when we would have the next meetings and what we would talk about at those meetings. That . . . was pretty much all.

Scissors

One day last week Quinn was wearing a hat indoors. He later let me in on a secret. He had cut off his bangs - entirely - because "they looked so stupid!"

Yeah, he helped the situation out immensely with his trim.

I'm so thankful that Wal-Mart's hair studio is open late.

Multi-tasking

This story may not be as good as my friend's on her lifegetsin.blogspot but here goes:

After baking scrumptious lemon cream muffins, I decided to also make some lemon cream frosting. This involved much grating of lemon zest and much squeezing of the lemons. To my shock and dismay, the frosting did not look like frosting at all.

Guess what happened? While baking and talking on the phone and answering the door and listening to the radio and checking homework I measured FLOUR into the recipe instead of powdered sugar.

Baking tip: Flour don't make no frosting.

Poor Brock

Until this week, my son has held the championship reign for most incredibly stupid and/or dangerous stunt pulled off by an elementary school child (among my friends). This of course, was when he was six years old and asked to ride his bike around the block, but instead rode his bike ACROSS TOWN to the ice cream shop and had himself a treat.

Well, son, your reign has come to an end. As of Wednesday evening, your friend Brock takes the cake. He threatened to run away from home (again) and his parents didn't think a thing about it until the doorbell rang and there stood a policeman with their eight year old son. Brock had been found walking along the highway a mile north of his home, wearing his pajama bottoms and carrying his teddy bear.

Poor Brock - and poor Brock's butt.

Fire and Ice

The weather was great - less than 90 degrees - so we decided to have a fire and roast marshmallows. Unfortunately, it was more like sending smoke signals to our neighbors.

Before the smoke-out, there was live entertainment on the roof. As a punishment to his sister for some crime unbeknownst to me, Quinn threw several pairs of her shoes, a couple rackets and large sticks on the roof.

To further entertain the neighbors, who have not yet called the cops on us, I allowed the kids to "defrost" the chest freezer using a hammer. Is that hard on the appliance?

Numbers

Eight baby rabbits (called kits)
Seven batches of salsa
Six loads of laundry
Five work days
Four tired limbs
Three turning one-year-old tomorrow
Two homework-checkings
One car with "check engine" light blaring all day

One picture can make it all right again!

Badminton

aka - "Birdie" at our house. It must be the funniest thing we do. Ours is a road less-traveled and it seems to make the difference between a good game of badminton and one that is frequently interrupted.

Tonight the four of us squared off on the street and played a couples match. I wonder how the game is scored when "whoosh," "whack," "thwump" and "OW! I just hit myself!" are the sounds heard in place of the racket (How do you spell that?) meeting the birdie? The Rellim Rules also allow for double hits and bank shots off trees, cars, players or other obstacles. Bounce plays are also acceptable strategies to confuse the opponent.

And like skilled trapeze artists, we don't use a net.

Parmesan Cheese

It's Rachel's favorite food - if you can call it a food. Today she was injured during the eating of spaghetti noodles with parmesan cheese. It seems she slurped a bit too quickly and a fleck of the grated cheese flew into her eye.

The way she carried on you would have thought that it was somehow MY fault.

Oh wait - maybe it was my fault. I made the lunch.

Mucilage

Do you know what it means? Sticky, adhesive substance found in some plants. Weird.

What did I learn from this dictionary exercise? My daughter is afraid of dictionaries. Or else impatient with them. I believe she would prefer to SPEAK the word into a voice recognition device on the cover, then have the book tell her AUDIBLY what a word means.

How do I know this? She has spent the last ten minutes in a hysterical screaming fit, complaining about dictionaries and how they are "so stupid" and what a waste of time it is to look up words in dictionaries.

Did she like it when I pointed out that she has spent more time screaming than it would have taken her to look up the word in the first place? Well, then you can probably guess that she also didn't like that I insinuated that she may have trouble with dictionaries because she has not memorized alphabetical order and suggested that she just hum the tune to the ABCs while she looks up the words.

Time

Quinn brought his Nintendo DS to our bed this morning to check the date (to make sure he really had to put on church clothes) and time. He excitedly pointed out that his DS tells him "digital time, clock time and Marines time." I told him that the Navy, Marines, Army and Air Force all use "military" time. He said, "Whatever!"

This reminds me of his first week in Kindergarten when he got the gist, but not the main idea of the lesson on the letter A. He reported that afternoon a few years back, "We learned about the letter A and how it starts with apple, crocodile and jet." To my recollection, he could not be dissuaded that the crocodile was an alligator and the jet an airplane.

All For the Love of Sea Turtles

I found my son in a neighbor's garage this evening. He was canvassing the neighborhood in search of aluminum cans for his class. They are saving money to send to the zoo to support the sea turtles. Not that I object to the project, but I am bothered by the fact that we don't know this particular neighbor. Quinn told me that's OK because "she was really nice and she told me to follow her into her garage." Oh, yeah - and now the large trash bag is filled mostly with beer cans.

I feel a note from his teacher will arrive this week.

Marriage

Quinn learned that his teacher, Mr. Johnson, is getting married next summer.

Quinn asked me what his new name will be.

I told him to ask Mr. Johnson tomorrow.

The funny thing is that I asked Mr. Johnson the same question at the open house.

Tweenagers!

My friend picked up a poster for her daughter who is running for class secretary. The poster reads, "Vote Danielle - I will keep track of everything!"

Here's where the story gets better. After just three days of school, her daughter has misplaced her planner, forgotten her flute, AND misplaced her note that gives her permission to run for secretary. The permission slip was finally found under her dirty laundry that she sorted last night when she realized she had no clean clothes to wear because she hadn't brought the laundry downstairs yesterday to be washed.

I think I would vote for Danielle. She found the note!

New Most Embarrassing Moment

Guess what happened this afternoon? While I was in the doctor's office? During the annual exam?

My doctor picked up a small sparkling fleck of something (probably genuine rhinestone debris from my new necklace) from my right breast then said, "Oh! What's this? Kind of sparkly! You must be trying to make this appointment extra special!"

I wanted to die, but laughed instead. That was a better choice, I thought.

Bambi's Babies

Bambi, the rabbit had her litter. EIGHT babies. We'll keep you updated.

More Quinnspressions

Me: Shouldn't you write your summary now?
Quinn: Don't worry, Mom. I know that book behind my hand.
Translation: He will write the summary later, but not to worry, because he knows that book like the back of his hand.

Me: Come sit down and eat your pork chop.
Quinn: I love chicken!
Me: It's pork not chicken.
Quinn: Whatever. Look out, cow! Here's my mouth!
Me: It's pork - from a pig.
Quinn: (chewing) Mmmmm! Good pig.

The Call

Well, maybe not THE call, but an important one nonetheless. Rachel ditched her first band lesson this week because she wants to quit. Her band teacher noticed and gave her a personal phone call this afternoon inviting her back to sixth grade band.

Rachel says she will "try it for one week . . . because (her band director) called."

Hmmm . . . I might need to have that woman call here when it's time to wash the dishes, change the bedsheets and clean rooms. Just an idea . . .

Leaving

That was Quinn's favorite thing about his first full day of school. This could be a long year.

That Was Easy

I went to Staples today to purchase the new Norton Antivirus 2007. There was a $40 rebate for the $59 item. Then I used my $17 bonus bucks and brought in an inkjet cartridge to recycle, which gives me $3 to spend. I think my purchases were almost free.

I told the cashier that Staples is such a great place to shop and the only way to make it better would be to pay ME when I walk in the door. Her response? "I'll pay you if you take the manager outta here!"

HA! She doesn't know that I'm friends with her manager's wife.

Life 201

Quinn and Rachel missed the bus this morning but were not late for school. Not so for me.

The brand new school building where I work was having a minor difficulty on our first day of school - the air conditioning did not work.

As dismissal began at my school, I received a phone call from the nurse at Quinn's school to tell me he was sick. I brought him home and fed him applesauce and a corn dog. Methinks he is nursing this a bit in order to avoid fourth grade.

The mechanic called to tell us what's wrong with the car. It needs a new computer. A new $900.00 computer. Yeah, well so do I, but now that will have to wait.

On the upside - as soon as this thunderstorm moves through the temps should be more tolerable. We have no debt except our mortgage. The refrigerator and freezer are full of food. We have beds in the house for five and could sleep three more on couches. The new neighbors haven't called the cops on us yet and I'm having a pretty decent hair day.

Life 101

Well, Quinn's fever is still 101 anyway.

The tow truck Found the car On the Road , even though it's a Nissan, not a FORD. Mike just got home. The mechanic thinks he might be able to find out what's wrong with it this time.

I think I annoyed some coworkers today as we were writing a list of "shared values" for the school year. They wanted to include, "We will listen to others' ideas without being judgmental." I said, "NO WAY! I'm all about being judgmental! That's what you teachers do all day! You judge the quality of work, you judge the content of responses and you judge the students' behavior. I most certainly judge the ideas I hear to decide if they are worthy of consideration." Now, I will give them a polite listen-to and fair evaluation, but JUDGING them, we MUST do.

I got no response except this one, "How about this value - We will respond to one another in a kind voice and in a non-threatening manner?"

Am I threatening? Unkind?

I prefer the label "decisive."

Caution

Watch what you wish for. I escaped the conference this morning, during which I would have had to sit for about four hours.

How? Quinn has a fever and a cough.

A friend of mine once wished that he had a job that only required driving to the office to pick up a paycheck every week. Soon thereafter he underwent re-constructive knee surgery and . . . well . . . you know.

Not so Bad

Today was the second of three days of mandatory inservice. It's called a HOPE Summit. (Harnessing Optimism and Potential through Education) I HOPE tomorrow will be better. Today I had to form triads with people I did not know and tell them if I were a punctuation mark, what would I be? And if I were a weather pattern, what would I be?

I'll tell you that if I were a superhero I'd like the ability to be invisible. Then, I could sneak out of that place!!

Otherwise, the van has been bailed out of Midas, Quinn's fever has disappated? disapated? disaparated? (gone away for a while) and I only have about four more hours of sitting tomorrow before I can get to my room and think about getting back to work.

Real Life

Rachel has her alarm set for 6 am so that we can fix her hair for the first day of school. Her clothes are picked out, her backpack is ready and she may even have chosen her breakfast cereal. Mike has taken the day off, which happens to be a very good thing. Why? Let me count the ways:
1. My vehicle is at Midas.
2. Quinn has a fever.
3. I have to be at a conference all day.
4. Mike is fairly calm under stress.

Sorry

Quinn told me it's not funny to make fun of people.

Sorry, Micheal.

Now what am I going to blog about?

Grocery Shopping

Mike volunteered to pick up a few items from the grocery store as long as I wrote them out on a list for him. I wrote: 3 red peppers, 3 sweet onions. He came back with three green peppers and a bunch of white onions.

He tried to make me feel sorry for him by saying that he couldn't concentrate on shopping because he had to go to the bathroom.

Now he's watching golf in his sleep on the couch. It's been a long day already.

Gotcha!

Mike and I took the van to vacuum it at the local car wash a couple evenings ago. I put the three quarters in. I climbed in and around the vehicle at top speed, trying to remove all the State Fair gunk before the timer ran down. Mike shook out a few car mats and made sure the hose had enough slack, but mostly enjoyed standing behind me and watching me work.

After finishing the job, the vacuum was still running so I swung it over toward Mike (accidentally?) connecting with the inseam section of his khaki shorts. I've never seen his eyes get so big or heard his voice pitch so high. Where's candid camera when ya need it?

Good Morning, Sunshine!

What's worse than waking up early on Sunday when you could have slept in?

Being awakened by your husband's shrill screams as your son uses tweezers for the first time in an attempt to remove a stray hair from his father's back.

Days of Rage

My friend, Mrs. Bickerson, says she has about 2.5 days of rage per month. I wonder how many my husband would say I have . . . Unfortunately, these days will coincide with the beginning of school and the three day multi-million dollar obligatory conference. I don't like sitting still.

Nothing Funny

Nothing funny happened today. I have a theory that it's too hot for anything funny to happen. Speaking of unfunny . . . School begins next week. My husband said, "I thought you said you had 85 days off?!"

Well, yeah, I did. Now they're gone.

EWWWW! That's Disgusting!

The boy's at camp during the hottest week of the year so far. You'd think his sister would be overjoyed with the quiet ride home (no one to touch or taunt her) - but no. You know how they say if someone is missing from a group that another person will take over the absent person's responsibilities?

I'm not sure if it was Rachel or Mike who initiated it, but they both started arguing and wrestling (in the van while I was driving). The next thing I knew, Rachel was being punished. Mike used her finger to clean wax out of his ear.

Is this creative punishment or is it punishable by DCFS?